Prosperous & Creative Soul & MFW Year 3

beanielou

Good news on the handyman. It’s your driveway & not your sister’s. 

EssexHebridean

SH - I say this with the greatest of love... stop spending money on stuff that isn't budgeted! It feels as though you are currently in a cycle of spend/beat yourself up about it/state an intention to stop/spend and so it begins again - but it's not sustainable - and you know as much. Can you take some time with your counseller to see if you can get to the bottom of the issue perhaps? It will also free up so much more budgeted money for the things you want to do to make your house a real sanctuary for you, and to make it more comfortable to live in! 

I have a huge amount of sympathy - I suspect we all do as most of us have been there haven't we! I know after we moved last year I felt like I was spending constantly for a while, and I think that's necessary when we move isn't it - both the essential bits and the small wants that will just go to make a new home feel more like OUR home. I increased out household budget pot a bit, and also created a new garden pot to help with that side of things, as that was a spend we'd never really had before, so we set aside money into that monthly now. Overall, we budget a bit more for that side of things now than we used to in the flat - but of course it's a bigger house and we have the garden, so there are increased costs. The other thing I did was made sure that where we were spending, it was always cleared off the CC immediately so there was never the temptation to build up any spending on there - as that isn't a loop I want to get back into - ever!  I also now sit down at the beginning of each month and note anything coming up ion the month that we will be spending on - so planned trips out etc - and ensure that those things can all come within budget - even down to how many tanks of fuel we will need in the car and how many times MrEH will feed his Oyster card - it really helps to get a sense of where we are at!  (Edit to add - might it be as simple as you just need to budget a bit more for some stuff, rather than feeling you are depriving yourself somehow ?) 

The thing with dehumidifers cracking plaster is where new plastering has been done I think - you aren't meant to use them to dry that out faster as it pulls the water out too quickly and yes, can cause it to crack. we used one regularly in the flat and never had any issues from it - and they are an absolute godsend for living anywhere with damp issues. 

Fab news that you are back in credit on the flexi as well - better than feeling you're chasing your tail on it all the time! 

On the MOT, do you have a council place that does them near you that you could book just for that? There is a bit about that on the main MSE site I think? 

KajiKita

I agree with the dehumidifier only being an issue for cracking plaster when it is first applied. You can set the humidity level you want and they auto cut out on most of them now. 

KK

jwil

Glad you've found someone to help with the garden.

savingholmes

Thanks LWAP, TG, EH, Jwil, Beanie and KK

Thanks for the feedback on the dehumidifier. Are there any particular ones you recommend? With the Am**** sale tomorrow and the next day it could be a good time. 

Just topped up my compost at the shop after getting my anti-covid and flu jabs. I then spoke to neighbour as per KK's prompting - and he's going to give me a price on sorting the car for its mot and service. I knew he used to work for a garage - but he now does a different job and mechanicing as a side hustle. He will take it to the main garage for its mot. It sounds like he'll do a me a good deal. He's going to price up the parts required for the service and then let me know - he'll even take it for me. He says he's insured and can stamp my service book / give me an invoice. I also asked him if he could wash my car when he did it as I confessed I had no idea when it had last had a wash. He was busy washing his pride and joy at the time... 

EH - I get that you meant it with love. I'm not always good at anticipating budget wise - and sometimes do slash and burn to my budget only to find I rebel in some form / missed a category I should have included. Earlier in the year I'd earmarked a budget for the garden and handyman etc - and then when I couldn't get help I took the money back out the budget. While help is available - I need to capitalise on it as TG said. I discuss £ with my counsellor frequently - and I know what has driven recent over-spending - but I don't plan to share the detail of that on here.

For me getting my hands in compost - whether for outdoor or indoor plants - and surrounding myself with nature in practical hands-on sense of plants and house plants - nurtures my soul and helps me reset. As Blackcats said - potting up bulbs now will save me quite a bit of £ later. Earlier this year I was buying pots of tulips at up to £10 a time in bloom - versus planning ahead now and buying bulbs for around £1-1.50 for 5-8 bulbs x multiple packs plus compost at £6 for 50 litres at a time and throwing the combo into pots I already own. I don't drink alcohol or smoke and rarely socialise - so my hobbies of all kinds become even more important during times of stress. My counsellor is very much encouraging me to get into nature and art - particularly when I'm struggling to be social.

My savings are in a few big pots currently - as the majority of my savings are spread across two ISAs and then I have a couple of smaller accounts left that are regular savers.  I have a number of big ticket items I intend to spend on at some point e.g. the driveway and the floor - but that's because they genuinely need fixing and are trip hazards currently.

Beanie - my sis is concerned that I could do myself a serious injury on the drive - and TBH in my hallway - and is therefore encouraging me not to neglect self-care in terms of practical household maintenance etc. Again I agree with her sentiment - but the floor feels more pressing than the drive - and even then it's the hallway that's the priority. If I bought a small amount of underlay the previous occupants left some carpet that I could potential get put down in the hallway. I just haven't done that. I also want to do some asbestos testing in the hall and front room before making a flooring decision. 

Hopefully the guy next door can sort my car out below budget - and given I'm struggling to find a cleaner - I have some free £ from that too as that is budgeted. I'm still trying to balance current and future self.

SandyShores

Another vote for a dehumidifier here, although I don't like encouraging you to spend, 70% is a bit higher than might be good.  I found the below on a website which says a dehumidifier is the best solution but that there are other methods to try instead of or alongside it, including: 

• Implementing some natural ventilation methods (such as fitting trickle vents)
• Drying your clothes outside where possible
• Opening windows frequently
• Fitting extractor fans in the kitchen and bathrooms 
• Lowering the temperature when showering
• Using a fan to increase air circulation 
• In bathing spaces, investing in bathroom plants that absorb moisture

Here's a few they recommend:

Electriq 25 litre

Honeywell 24 litre

Meaco

You are probably aware of all this, but gives some food for thought.

KajiKita

That sounds like really good progress on the neighbour. Hope he does a good job 😊

We have a slimline dehumidifier that is Dee long gee …. I would share what model but we’ve had it for donks (3 houses ago?) so that probably wouldn’t be that helpful 😊

KK

WelshmansDaughter

We used the R Hobbs small model which worked well. 

It is best to know the size of the space first and then buy the appropriate size dehumidifier. 

If aesthetic is important, the swedish place does dehumidifiers.
Regarding being social- classes etc count as parallel play which is often more suited to asd natures. As would going on a tour at a trust place.
Budget wise- your categories sound over complicated. Money is for using or keeping.

astrocytic_kitten

The humidity in my place was 70% and it’s much more comfortable with a dehumidifier, it’s also reduced my chronic cough by quite a bit. One thing I’d say is to keep an eye on noise levels when choosing one - I bought a Meaco and it’s brilliant, but even as apparently a super quiet model it sounds so loud to me and I sometimes need to turn it off overnight because I can’t stand the noise. It’s been brilliant for drying laundry indoors though. A friend in a similar place says she needs to run hers all summer but once the heating is on in the winter the humidity decreases.

EssexHebridean

Our current dehumidifier came from Scr3wf1x I think - a good few years ago now, and is still going strong. It's also quiet, although I wouldn't have it running overnight personally as I find I wake up with a desperately dry mouth if I do!

We also found that good trickle vents on the windows made a huge difference in the flat - we ended up having one retro-fitted in the bathroom window in fact as that was originally fitted without one.