Prosperous & Creative Soul & MFW Year 3

jwil

I'm so lucky with my family in that we just tend to cheer each other on, and don't get involved unless asked.  DH's on the other hand is the opposite and they've always got an opinion and tell each other what they should be doing (in their mind).  It really gets my back up, so I can understand your frustration.  You don't need to explain your choices to anyone so stay strong  

skint_spice

I find it odd when people give unsolicited advice, but it’s over with now for a while. Hopefully by the time they return you will be feeling stronger and better able to deal with them.

badmemory

They really can't help themselves.  My sister has been on at me for a few years to get hearing aids, my hearings been bad since I was a child.  So I got them in November & when I saw her in Dec she didn't notice even though she hadn't had to repeat herself, but that is good.  So I told her.  Did she say at long last or thank goodness.  No, she asked how long the batteries last & that isn't very long is it.  Very wasteful.  Just cannot stop themselves. It is why I don't see her a lot or for long as I worry I will say something.

Chrystal

I've got the lyrics of Billy Joels 'My Life' singing very loudly in my head now.  ((((hugs)))) XXX

SandyShores

jwil said:

I'm so lucky with my family in that we just tend to cheer each other on, and don't get involved unless asked.  DH's on the other hand is the opposite and they've always got an opinion and tell each other what they should be doing (in their mind).  It really gets my back up, so I can understand your frustration.  You don't need to explain your choices to anyone so stay strong  

You are really lucky jwil.  I remember seeing an episode of Oprah where she said there are families that love and families that fight.  I hadn't thought about it before but my parents were definitely a family that fought, although its confusing as there is also love there hidden behind all the comments and prickliness.  I distance myself from mine as its exhausting always being on the defence, especially if you are ill or vulnerable (just when you need your family really).  My DH's family are similar - not quite as bad, but at times exhausting so you have to make sure you're in the right space to cope.  My advice to anyone when choosing a partner is to make sure they are from the cheering on type of family not the pulling it apart type - but not sure how you can tell in those early stages.

savingholmes

Thanks @catclaires - Yes I have my own vision and believe it will work - as do the professionals so I can't see my parents' issue other than they still have got over my choosing to get divorced never mind move to somewhere they wouldn't choose.

Thanks MF - yes there would be nit picking regardless. I agree on the plants too - they are already making a huge difference even though they are in pots rather than the ground.

Thanks Beanie - both beds are now assembled. Love the new one - which includes a memory foam topper on the mattress and it makes it more comfortable. Eve was the name of it. My frame is Penelope from B4B. Lovely soft velour grey type upholstery - sleigh bed style with ottoman underneath.

savingholmes

jwil said:

  You don't need to explain your choices to anyone so stay strong  

Thanks Jwil - I agree. My first ever counsellor said an adult doesn't need to justify their decision - they can just say no, that doesn't work for me.

Thanks Skint - I think it is the nature of all parents - me included - to give unsolicited advice! 

Thanks BM - I can imagine that conversation occurring in my family too. My commiserations.

Chrystal said:

I've got the lyrics of Billy Joels 'My Life' singing very loudly in my head now.  ((((hugs)))) XXX

I played it. Thank you.

Hi Sandy - that's a great way of putting it. I think there are far less cheering families than fighting families. TBF it is really difficult being a parent and you never stop learning.

savingholmes

Nerve-wrackingly - yesterday I got a text saying my p1p was being reviewed. Cue mass panic. Hopefully it will go okay - but it is such a hassle and stress and if I lost it - it would have a huge impact on my budget and my ability to spend on the handyman, cleaner etc as well as options to increase my pension. The handyman has said he'll write a letter of support and highlight things he's put in to help with my mobility & stability and his role in taking me to hospital and afterwards etc. My counsellor will also write one. I may ask the chiropractor I saw once to send me a copy of the notes he took etc - if he comes through it's a win - if he doesn't then I've lost nothing by asking. Unfortunately therefore rather than just focusing on my recovery this week and trying to increase my stamina - I  need to find what I sent through last time - and see what I now have to add to that.

I only got about 5 hours sleep last night but I am enjoying clearer thinking now I'm on the half dose ADHD meds. I also have more energy in the morning and then flag in the afternoons. That could change when I go back on full dose next week - although it's likely that will further disrupt my sleep. I've texted work to chase the OHU appointment and said I'm likely to return Monday on a phased return. 

There are fluffy white clouds with hints of blue sky and it's beautifully bright outside. I urgently need to sort my bedroom blinds (likely to have 2 plus the curtains) but I'm still stuck in indecision. Plus they wanted me to take 3 measurements horizontally and 3 vertically - where I'd only taken 1 of each so it's a faff to resolve. I'll get dressed and go to a garden centre where they had the bird obelisk as I'd like more - and then take it from there. Some more plant pots and plants may have fallen into my trolley yesterday at Mr M... Everyone who has seen the pots loves them. They have a navy and turquoise type glaze but are plastic. If later I end up with too many pots (never happened before - what is too many?) I can always give some away. The plants were a mix of climbers and bedding plants. Most are the Mr M £2.50 version - but one was a jasmine for £6.50. 

savingholmes

I just wanted to say - I felt such a wave of love reading all your posts. It blessed me.

lucielle

Enjoy plant shopping. Hope the pup gets sorted without too much stress. 

L