Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my colleague for the ticket I thought she'd given me for for free?

MSE_Kelvin Posts: 345 MSE Staff
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edited 14 November 2023 at 4:17PM in Employment, jobseeking & training
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On a recent work trip, I was asked if I wanted to join an excursion some of the colleagues I was there with were going on. It cost £100 and, as I didn't feel I'd enjoy it enough, I declined. Then my colleague who organised the trip couldn't make it, and as the ticket was non-refundable, it was suggested I use it, and my colleague sent it to me. As expected, the excursion wasn't my thing, but I felt bad for my colleague so asked her if I could make a contribution to the cost. To my horror, she asked for the full £100. Should I pay her in full to keep the peace, or stick to the principle that I only went on the trip because I thought it was free?

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  • Dol987
    I wouldn’t, your colleague couldn’t go and the ticket would’ve been wasted if you hadn’t of gone. If you didn’t go they would still have lost the £100. 
  • housebuyer143
    The error you made was offering to pay towards it. If she wanted something she would have asked you before giving you the ticket. 
    If you wanted to give something it would have been better to offer the amount rather than leave it open ended. I imagine your colleague is trying their luck. Either go back and say no and offer something you want to pay or don't pay anything.
  • prettyandfluffy
    Maybe buy her a bunch of flowers or similar as a thank you, but no - I wouldn't give her the money.
  • bluelad1927
    Dol987 said:
    I wouldn’t, your colleague couldn’t go and the ticket would’ve been wasted if you hadn’t of gone. If you didn’t go they would still have lost the £100. 
    Just because it would have been wasted, it should never have been assumed it was free.

    The OP should not have accepted the tickets without checking first.

    That isn't to say however it's also a underhand thing to do by the person offering the ticket
  • liselle
    liselle Posts: 90 Forumite
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    I was fortunate enough once to receive a free quote from a solicitor: Past consideration is no consideration
  • LP53
    LP53 Posts: 29 Forumite
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    I would remind her that you wasn’t bothered about going in the first place as you already mentioned it wasn’t your thing and say you were now going as the ticket was going to waste and in realty could probably spend 100 pound on something else.  If they want the full value they’re probably better asking someone who would appreciate it more.
    I wouldn’t go now even if it’s offered for free.
  • riding_pink
    The problem you have here is that now you’ve asked, if you refuse to pay, it could make things difficult in the workplace. You could say that you didn’t go in the first place because it was too expensive and it’ll take you a few paydays to give the full £100 back - the colleague might relent then, but you can only use this is there’s truth in it, if you’re otherwise flashing cash, it won’t cut it. 

    Next time, ask first. If you can afford the £100, even begrudgingly, pay it and chalk it up to experience (particularly if you’re a higher earner than the colleague). 
  • 2702
    2702 Posts: 20 Forumite
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    yeah - With hindsight in the future you should find out exactly what people want before you go, and if you assumed it was for free then why did you ask her what she wanted as a contribution?
    After saying that she is very cheeky to ask for full price.
    It really is up to you, I would grudge paying £100 but you now have to work out what the mood in the office is about this. You could give her some flowers at a meeting so everyone can see.
    Wish you luck
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Posts: 104 Forumite
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    Absolutely not. You didn't want to go. Give a gesture to her but that is it and I would be looking for a new job
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