Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my colleague for the ticket I thought she'd given me for for free?

Hodgie

You had already made it clear that the trip wasn't for you so why go?
Why did you make the assumption that the ticket would be free?
Assumed agreements cause misunderstandings that can lead to ill-feelings and failed friendships.
If she's your friend or you might like to be included in future organised trips, talk to her (it's nothing to do with anyone else) and say that you both made an assumption that was incorrect, you don't want this to spoil your relationship and, perhaps, offer to pay half.
You will have then both learned a lesson so you can move on.

djhowzy

This is a tricky one, but you did create the problem. I can see from the other answers that you will not get a conclusive opinion here. My opinion is that you openned your mouth and offered money, so morally, you should pay what they requested, or at least ask if they would accept half as a 50/50 compromise, but you should pay the full amount if they stick to their guns. I'm sure if you didn't offer anything, your colleague had probably already written the money off in their head. So, when you offered money, they were likely relieved. The honourable thing to do is pay what they asked for as you offered in the first place. As people have said, chalk this one up to experience and in future, fully clarify that any 'gift' is indeed free before accepting it. I've had similar situations with family members and even after a brief conversation on a topic, things have been misunderstood from both sides, simply because between us we were very poor at communication and clarification, with us believing the exact opposite to each other. We all make mistakes. Best of luck.

TheRedHerring

Talking about finance is difficult as one does not want to seem penny pinching but the time to sort this out was before saying yes to receiving the ticket.  A lesson for the future as when it comes to finances people can have very differing ideas as to what is fare. I suggest you offer to pay 100% direct into a charity you would both like to contribute to or offer her 50% of the ticket price.  I think the first option is better as you can then both feel you have contributed to a worthwhile cause.  I hope this helps with this dilemma and in the future when dealing with finance and friends, clarity is all.

penners324

Surely the as it's a work trip it should be reclaimed from the company?

Redgirl_forum

There are definitely 2 sides here. The OP, who claimed not to want to go but accepted a ticket when they assumed it was free, should have asked about the cost upfront. 

The colleague should've mentioned cost before handing over the ticket... NOT after!!

The fairest way to go is a 50/50 split, with the colleague providing evidence of what they paid because, yes, organisers do often get a discount. 

MACKEM99

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

On a recent work trip, I was asked if I wanted to join an excursion some of the colleagues I was there with were going on. It cost £100 and, as I didn't feel I'd enjoy it enough, I declined. Then my colleague who organised the trip couldn't make it, and as the ticket was non-refundable, it was suggested I use it, and my colleague sent it to me. As expected, the excursion wasn't my thing, but I felt bad for my colleague so asked her if I could make a contribution to the cost. To my horror, she asked for the full £100. Should I pay her in full to keep the peace, or stick to the principle that I only went on the trip because I thought it was free?

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I know I will probably be in a minority of 1 (never have ran with the pack) If It was not your thing why did you go?  

tastyfish

Bit cheeky of her to ask for the full amount. She knew it was non-refundable, she couldn’t go and a full refund is a win-win for her. I’d perhaps offer half so the ‘liability’ is split.

Slinky

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

On a recent work trip, I was asked if I wanted to join an excursion some of the colleagues I was there with were going on. It cost £100 and, as I didn't feel I'd enjoy it enough, I declined. Then my colleague who organised the trip couldn't make it, and as the ticket was non-refundable, it was suggested I use it, and my colleague sent it to me. As expected, the excursion wasn't my thing, but I felt bad for my colleague so asked her if I could make a contribution to the cost. To my horror, she asked for the full £100. Should I pay her in full to keep the peace, or stick to the principle that I only went on the trip because I thought it was free?

The bits I've highlighted are key here IMO.  Who 'suggested' the OP used the ticket? The organiser or someone else?  How did the ticket get sent to the OP?

I'm picturing a scenario where Bill says to OP, why don't you go instead of Mary because Mary can't go. So OP emails Mary and asks Can you please send me your ticket, and Mary sends it to her. Without some context here, it could be interpreted by Mary that OP has now decided to go, and is happy there's a spare ticket. In this instance, I'm not surprised that Mary would expect £100 for it.

MACKEM99

It's mostly about communicating with each other better.

JayD

Well, of course you should have asked what she wanted for her ticket before accepting it - but you didn't. However, I think you should explain to her that you would only be willing to pay £50, being half the cost, in order to share her loss, as - whether you enjoyed it or not - you did have the benefit of going on it.

This, being after the fact that she has already asked you for the full £100, you must have already responded to that request by now, so I wonder what YOU chose to say.