Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my colleague for the ticket I thought she'd given me for for free?



  • primrose_penguin
    primrose_penguin Forumite Posts: 99
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts
    Your colleague has got a bit of a cheek asking you for the full £100, especially as she could not go herself and sent you the ticket even though you had already said you were not interested in going. I suppose hindsight is a wonderful thing and it would have been better if you had given the ticket back and asked her to give it to another person who would enjoy it more. I would explain to her that you will give her half the money, which is more than she would have got if you had not gone. She should be grateful to receive some money back, after all it was her decision not to go, whatever the reason.
  • Julia1960
    Julia1960 Forumite Posts: 4
    Fourth Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    Definitely not, what an absolute cheek your colleague has to even consider charging you! I would have refused to pay point-blank, especially bearing in mind you didn’t even want to go in the first place. Another important thing to remember is that discounts are often given for bulk bookings, eg 10% off for 10 people or more. Therefore, who is to say this “charming” colleague of yours didn’t get a freebie, then conveniently decide to cancel her booking and pocket a profit of £100? 
  • chockydavid1983
    chockydavid1983 Forumite Posts: 711
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts
    No, if they wanted money for it then they should have asked at the time. Can't ask retrospectively.
  • Groom
    Groom Forumite Posts: 51
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    I think the problem here is that you have offered to pay. If she had any integrity she'd say something like, "That's really kind of you, how about half?" Either way now, one of you is going to feel hard done by. If you think it will cause hard feelings and make it difficult to work together, give her the money and in future stick to your guns and refuse to go, even if it's free! 
  • Kim_13
    Kim_13 Forumite Posts: 2,035
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    I would give whatever I thought it was worth plus a small gift (flowers, chocolates etc.) Maybe you even have something at home you can re-gift. Reiterate that you had originally decided not to go as you weren’t in a position to pay £100 for it and apologise for the misunderstanding (to keep the peace at work.)

    If a similar situation emerges in the future, approach them with X and offer it as a contribution. By asking if they’ll take something towards it, you put the ball in their court as regards to specifying the amount. A reasonable person wouldn’t expect to recover any more than 50% with some probably going lower than that, but unfortunately not everyone is reasonable.
  • Agent57
    Agent57 Forumite Posts: 45
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    "it was suggested I use it" could be open to interpretation.  Often when someone can't go they look around to find someone who wants their ticket and assume they will pay face value for it.  Always worth double-checking if it is a gift. I've been caught out before.
  • Tbreak
    Tbreak Forumite Posts: 1
    First Post
    Bang out of order, I had something very similar happen to me this time last year- I paid up with a smile but note to self: Lesson learnt & I won't do that again for that particular person.
  • 04Felix15
    04Felix15 Forumite Posts: 3
    First Post
    Firstly most people would say it’s ok as it’s not your fault they couldn’t attend; and others would be touched and say thank you for any type of contribution. 

    Please Remind your colleague; that their £100 was lost / non refundable they could not attend.  

    It was offered to you for free; and out the goodness of your heart you offered to give something towards it when you don’t have to. So please don’t let them take your  kindness for weakness and ask for the full price of a ticket you didn’t want in the first place. 

  • Sleazy
    Sleazy Forumite Posts: 18
    10 Posts First Anniversary Photogenic
    edited 14 November at 9:31PM
    Perhaps you should have asked whether she wanted a contribution before accepting the ticket.

    Having gone, your colleague would seem to be of the entitled type and whatever you do other than giving them £100 will be viewed as wrong, although if I had a ticket that I couldn't use and couldn't get a refund on, I'd be happy for somebody else to use it.  And if I knew that they didn't really want to go in the first place, I certainlywouldn't expect them to pay ...
  • bikaga
    bikaga Forumite Posts: 139
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts
    So you accepted a free ticket for something you thought you didn't like, knowing full well its full price, and then asked if you could pay towards it (presumably without having told the person giving you their ticket that you initially declined because you weren't interested) and now you don't want to pay for a service you used? I'd be really annoyed if I was the colleague.

    Try and put yourself in their shoes - they couldn't go to something they thought they'd enjoy, potentially they can't just afford to waste £100, you accepted the ticket and asked if you could contribute, and then you're gonna go what, "oh well I didn't actually want to go and I was just asking to be polite"?

    Unless you were pushed into accepting the ticket, I'd say pay up and learn your lesson. Appreciate that's probably not what most people would say or want to hear, but you can't expect people to know what you think.

    I would never accept someone else's ticket for something without offering to pay it in full (I might be a little miffed if they asked me to cover service charge or shipping costs). But even if that's something you'd do - make sure before what the expectation is, and don't go on £100 trips you don't think you'll like.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 340.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 448.3K Spending & Discounts
  • 232K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 603.2K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 171.6K Life & Family
  • 245.2K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards