Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my colleague for the ticket I thought she'd given me for for free?



  • Rd1994
    Rd1994 Forumite Posts: 4
    First Post
    Do not pay, some people take the liberty! They chose to pay for the ticket and then could not
    go, they would have lost out anyway and the ticket would have gone to waste. Some people take the liberty 
  • neen9395
    neen9395 Forumite Posts: 1
    Third Anniversary First Post
    Definitely Not!  You had declined to buy a £100 ticket for the trip as you didn't think you would enjoy it. For other colleagues to then suggest you may use the spare ticket & then one of them sending it to you; It was obviously a gift. You were kind & considerate enough to offer some contribution toward it but then for the colleague to ask the whole £100, quite frankly is a blumin cheek! You state it's not your kind of thing so don't waste your money. Tell her sorry but you can't go afterall & don't worry what the cheeky person thinks! xx
  • Bookhaven
    Bookhaven Forumite Posts: 4
    Third Anniversary First Post
    I'm afraid it looks very much as if your colleague is trying to have her cake and eat it. If you hadn't had her ticket she would have been out of pocket by £100 anyway. You had already said it wasn't your thing and it seems to me you only went because you were made to feel guilty that the ticket was going to waste. If you weren't asked for the money beforehand then I can't see how you can have the rug pulled out from underneath you just because you offered to contribute to the cost. She didn't ask till you offered so I'd counter offer and if she insists then withdraw your offer completely. 
  • Bod_1234
    Bod_1234 Forumite Posts: 75
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 14 November at 10:16PM
    Absolutely don't pay it.  It was a wasted ticket, and you already stated it wasn't your thing.

    If you feel bad, find a charity you both support and stick £30 on the collection tin and draw a line under the event.
  • keithyno.1
    keithyno.1 Forumite Posts: 88
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    edited 15 November at 12:13AM
    Too bad, you're going to have to suck this one up and fork out the £100 in my opinion. You say, "it was suggested I use it." Note the word "suggested" - you still could have said no at that stage if it wasn't your thing!

    Whether it was your thing or not, ultimately you accepted the invitation to go on the were hardly forced at gun point to go on it. Your last sentence states, "I only went because I thought it was free" but logic dictates YOU should pay the same £100 which everybody else paid for it. 

    That's a very cynical attitude to have anyway, thinking you'd take advantage of something for nothing which your colleague had already forked out for but couldn't go for whatever reason, along the lines of, "Tough, it's her loss."

    So pay up. Because otherwise your reputation amongst your colleagues will be at rock bottom for a very long time..maybe for as long as you work there. You'll be considered a freeloader who doesn't pay his or her way - do you want that?

  • Shaychen
    Shaychen Forumite Posts: 1
    First Post
    There was a lot of conferring and accommodating/bending to things that you didn't want to do or weren't comfortable with. I'd encourage pausing and identifying what it is that you want, making that plain and honor that. Advice to what is reasonable? Offer to pay half. If you didn't want to pay for anything you shouldn't have offered or gone. Accepting responsibility for that is reasonable. However, if you truly cannot afford it say so and explain what you had initially intended when offering to contribute. 
  • nczm
    nczm Forumite Posts: 58
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    On a recent work trip, I was asked if I wanted to join an excursion some of the colleagues I was there with were going on. It cost £100 and, as I didn't feel I'd enjoy it enough, I declined. Then my colleague who organised the trip couldn't make it, and as the ticket was non-refundable, it was suggested I use it, and my colleague sent it to me. As expected, the excursion wasn't my thing, but I felt bad for my colleague so asked her if I could make a contribution to the cost. To my horror, she asked for the full £100. Should I pay her in full to keep the peace, or stick to the principle that I only went on the trip because I thought it was free?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

    B) If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
    :/ Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
    Think you’re gonna have to suck this one up. Too many downsides of saying no (unless you genuinely can’t afford it).

    The lesson here is to clarify if strings are attached before accepting something. Your colleague probably feels like you got £100 experience so you should pay for it.

    Are they taking the absolute p*ss - 100%, but you’re in a situation where you’ve had the experience and offered to contribute towards it. Backpedaling now will most likely cause unnecessary issues in the workplace.
  • Unity
    Unity Forumite Posts: 1,524
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    You really only have yourself to blame. When she asked you if you wanted the ticket you should have asked immediately what she wanted for it and if she said £100 you could have easily refused as you weren’t interested. It’s always best to find out in advance as the benefit of hindsight is usually zero.
    Some people hear voices, some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever :D
  • Bonnypitlad
    Bonnypitlad Forumite Posts: 76
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts
    IMHO if you want harmony in your work place …pay the £100 and learn from your mistake 
    It was your mistake to offer to contribute when you had used the ticket 
    Turn this “ dilemma” into a positive by gaining a life lesson for £100
  • thedr
    thedr Forumite Posts: 77
    Tenth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    edited 15 November at 6:44AM
    You should just be honest and say this is not something you’d originally have been interested in doing at that price. Then just leave it up to your friend to decide whether to give you the ticket or not. You should not have gone before sorting out the finances and agreeing upon them. 
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 340K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 448.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 231.8K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 602.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 171.6K Life & Family
  • 245K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards