Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my colleague for the ticket I thought she'd given me for for free?



  • Mark_d
    Mark_d Forumite Posts: 19
    10 Posts
    I would normally suggest keeping the peace however £100 is not an insignificant amount of money.

    You were not interested in going, certainly not for £100, hence you originally declined. You only accepted the ticket when it would otherwise have been wasted - your understanding being that for this reason, there was no charge for the ticket.

    You never agreed to pay for the ticket so I would state the above. Declining to pay
  • honestcove
    honestcove Forumite Posts: 71
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    Pay up and you show everyone you’re a nice person.
    Don’t pay and show yourself up as a skinflint freeloader.
    What’s the difference between the two positions worth to you?
  • SStitanic
    SStitanic Forumite Posts: 28
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts
    You should have declined to accept it and declined to use it, you used it so now you have to pay for it. 
  • tatt1994
    tatt1994 Forumite Posts: 2
    Second Anniversary First Post
    It was going to be waste, you only went because you thought it was free. I'd point out you declined initially because it wasnt your thing and offer half.  
  • erpi2107
    erpi2107 Forumite Posts: 1
    Fifth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    It sounds as though the suggestion that you use the ticket didn't take place directly between colleague A who was originally going to the excursion and yourself.
    There was either a lack of precision on the part of the intermediary person who suggested you go instead and arranged for the ticket to come to you or your colleague wasn't expecting any money back but decided to unfairly ask for the full amount once you offered a contribution. 
    Is this intermediary person someone you can chat to for advice/clarity?It sounds as though you're not confident that you have a close enough relationship with colleague A to have a frank discussion without causing tension.
    If you find that the intermediary or other colleagues thought you were being offered the ticket for nothing, maybe offer to pay half ( or, if £100 is easily affordable, especially if you are in a better paid job than colleague A, pay it and chalk it up to experience). You then appear level-headed and generous to other colleagues which can only help workplace relationships.
    If it seems in the view of others that colleague A thought you intended to pay full price, just pay it if you can afford to.
    Whatever you decide to do, probably don't openly criticise colleague A as that's not likely to enhance others' opinions of you no matter the truth of the situation.
    You've probably already dealt with it given the original date of the post. Hope it went well.

  • Moneygonewhere?
    Moneygonewhere? Forumite Posts: 33
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    You will have to pay the asking price and chalk it up to experience. I don't think flowers will cut it somehow. 
  • SheepLady_2
    SheepLady_2 Forumite Posts: 35
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Firstly, if I thought it wasn’t for me I wouldn’t have gone even if free. If I thought I might like it I would have given, say, 50% upfront and that would have been the end of it. Bit of a cheek being asked for the full amount though… give 25%!
  • BigTed85
    BigTed85 Forumite Posts: 1
    Fifth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    It was up to the colleague to explain she wanted money for the ticket at the outset.  If she didn't make that clear then the assumption is that it was free. Her request for the full ticket price after the event is mean and insulting. If you had really wanted to go then you would have bought a ticket at the time. 
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Forumite Posts: 34,171
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    edited 15 November at 10:17AM
    If I'd already declined because it wasn't 'my thing', I'd have declined the use of the ticket anyway, even if I thought it was free.

    The author of the dilemma is at fault for not checking if any contribution was required but the person who paid for the original ticket is more at fault for not making it clear to whoever offered the ticket that they expected to be reimbursed in full.
    That person has - imho - an unreasonable expectation to be paid the full £100 as the ticket was non-refundable.
    The author of the dilemma has made things worse by asking if they could make a contribution towards the ticket cost.

    Why is this posted in 'Employment, job seeking and training'?
  • europa
    europa Forumite Posts: 85
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    You are both equally at fault. You should not have assumed it was free, and they should have made it clear that they wanted 100£ for it. You both avoided bringing up the topic of money in advance, and you are both in this difficult situation now.
    A fair compromise would be to split the cost 50/50.
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