Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

Luke451

RHemmings said:

Luke451 said: 

I assumed that in Leeds you need a car, as in every city in UK, unless Edinburgh or wherever the transport is 24/7.

The car would increase the life cost drammatically, so at that point, I'd be in London (also more jobs available), but all starts from the point that I wouldn't live in Leeds.

I didn't have a car in Leeds, but again I lived within easy walking distance of the city centre. I think I didn't even have a bicycle when I lived there. (I do now). And, a reasonable walking distance from the train station. This was before Uber and similar firms, which make a big difference.

Given it's far enough in the past, I think I can safely reveal that I lived in Lyddon Terrace in Woodhouse, Leeds. Quite convenient.  

I haven't owned a car for 30 years now. I'm considering getting one next year. Maybe. But, I don't need one. 

Clearly if you don't want to live in Leeds, you don't want to live in Leeds. I'm remembering that scene in Doctor Who when Donna Noble expresses outrage at being billeted in Leeds. I can't find a clip of her reaction when she hears that she's going to Leeds. 

https://youtu.be/acnPJSXxtWk

EDIT: Found it:

https://youtu.be/s5kxNhuJwk8

When I was last in London, riding some buses, I was looking at houses and other accommodation. And, there are a lot of terrible places to live in London.

For my sins, I have lived in this building:

https://www.google.com/maps/@51.5763091,-0.2945351,3a,75y,121.6h,95.94t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sVu4wCvSq-kSQhbd5oX8ong!2e0!6shttps://streetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com/v1/thumbnail?panoid=Vu4wCvSq-kSQhbd5oX8ong&cb_client=maps_sv.tactile.gps&w=203&h=100&yaw=90.07762&pitch=0&thumbfov=100!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu

And I can assure people that I have never lived anywhere in the UK outside London as bad as that. 

I had a look for relatively (compared to local values) expensive houses in Leeds, and there are plenty of ones that look pretty nice. 

I was talking in the OP behalf, because he needs to make an effort to buy his first apartment and it's a big move (that doesn't involve buying a car for leisure or work), considering that everyone is selling and he will need to move 1-2 times in the next 2y if he keeps renting (bold statement, but look at the stats, everything is on sale).

But for me, I would personally be better off in Leeds for example, because I have the car and it's on the safe side of my monthly cost, so, yes, I'd appreciate Leeds MUCH more than London, but not for Leeds itself, just for human house prices (prior 2019), spacious houses (no cages in London), nice locations around, Peak District, Wales, Lake District etc...

Luke451

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

Longwalker

Luke451 said:

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

I moved 500 miles away, still the UK, just 500 miles away from London 

I never ever lived in the centre of London, always in the burbs 

If the carp you have posted above is true, then thats got to be true of every capital city around the world, not just London

Angelica123

Luke451 said:

Angelica123 said:

I think that for you, being able to change how you view your situation would be as beneficial as actually changing your situation. I honestly think working with a coach or therapist would help you immensely! Their bread and butter is working with people who feel stuck. 

This guy is in a situation of many others in UK and he quite understood the problem but didn't find the solution yet, I don't think he needs therapy, or he may accidentally end up with his brain like a marmalade of many years old, after receiving unnecessary prescriptions, and after that, there is no way back... He can forget to realize his expectations in life.

Certainly I suggested to take it with spirit, and to tackle one issue at a time, but therapy... come on...

I think we clearly have different ideas of what someone can gain from external help such as therapy/coaching. It needn't involve medications,it needn't require any delving into the past. People often use therapists/coaches to achieve certain goals such as weight loss or quitting smoking. 

To me, I got the impression that a) the OP seemed to be struggling with his mental health (he talks about being in a state of depression) and may benefit from some additional support and b) that the OP hasn't managed to move forward with a solution since posting about his situation a year ago... he feels that there are no options despite many suggestions from posters. His feelings of hopelessness (likely related to where his mental health is at) aren't helping him to move forward. To me, it sounds like he would benefit from someone coaching him through his options - ideally someone external without invested interest in the outcome. I definitely think his family's advice to "wait and something will come along" is unlikely to help OP - it's like people telling single people that "love will find you when you least expect it". 

EssexHebridean

Luke451 said:

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

Do you think perhaps you "need to watch your back all the time" because of your confrontational and offensive attitude? It certainly feels as though you are posting here deliberately to be provocative.

@Longwalker - spot on with Londoners having moved out. the town I live in falls into the "just into Essex" bracket, and pretty much every second person you speak to is a displaced Londoner - generally from the north or east of the city. Most seem to have relocated when they wanted to buy a property and could no longer afford to buy in their home city - and in many cases have now built a family and friendship group around them in their new location. The majority also seem to say that they would not now move back - certainly the just short of £400k we recently spent on our new home would need to be doubled to get us anything even vaguely comparable in the area local to where I work for example, and I don't think I could justify spending that!

[Deleted User]

OP What all this really boils down to is doing 'something' or doing' nothing'.

We can all say "I wouldn't want to live there" or that one place is better for transport or entertainment etc. But you have to cope with what you can afford. London is expensive, outer London, Kent etc are cheaper housing wise ( still far from  cheap and you have to factor in travel). Other cities in the UK may be ok for work, large towns may have the work, the housing, but not your family. There are  areas of most places that have their fair share of 'bad people', which is why you need to get out there and look at what might suit YOU. 

BTW when people say X is not the place for a young person, people over 35, even people as old as me do talk, they do go out, they can still socialise!  I have never lived anywhere at any age where there has been no one else of 'my age at the time' , though to be fair I have never lived in Norwich so can't say for sure that the people who live there are not fossilised ;-) 

People say often "I wouldn't feel safe in X at night", well I recently walked through the town centre of X at night ( from a theatre) and felt considerable safer than walking through the small underpass to the shops where I live in daylight, because there were people and places open for entertainment that might rescue me if I was in trouble. 

It's personal choice, but there are a lot of places in the UK that are 'possible' to live in and have a decent life... but again you need to get out there and look at them. 

_Penny_Dreadful

Longwalker said:

Luke451 said:

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

I moved 500 miles away, still the UK, just 500 miles away from London 

Would you walk 500 more?

BungalowBel

You can get a nice two-bed flat for around £150k round my neck of the woods and if you are in Education, then there almost certainly would be no problems with a job.  Then you could surely join a club or pursuit  that interests you - walking, knitting, darts, church, movies, cosplay, am-dram, whatever....they have these in every city. There must be something you would enjoy. You would soon get to  'know' people.

If you want to buy then that is about all you can do.

There are other cities than Norwich (beautiful as it is).

Luke451

Longwalker said:

Luke451 said:

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

I moved 500 miles away, still the UK, just 500 miles away from London 

I never ever lived in the centre of London, always in the burbs 

If the carp you have posted above is true, then thats got to be true of every capital city around the world, not just London

London, like Silicon Valley, some Capital of east Europe etc have high turnover due to volatile jobs, fast life cost growth etc, but never like London... Probably only Silicon Valley could match and the nearby San Francisco... (does living in a tent rings the bell?)

At this point, I would mention also Dublin, but there are reasons why it doesn't happen, such as being a quite isolated place and very small, Ireland is not the central Europe, right?

So, it's all based in Dublin and there isn't much of a choice, unless you leave the country, which puts an handbrake to the people plans to leave, it's a bigger life movement and it scares them too.

So, it's not only London, when did I say it, but considering that we are talking about UK, London is surely the worst that can happen to you...

Luke451

EssexHebridean said:

Luke451 said:

Longwalker said:

Ok so I left London 17 years ago and cities do change dramatically but we knew our neighbours, we were invited in for cuppas, round for drinks, met up in pubs and restaurants , gave gifts , shared what we had etc etc etc.

We deliberately bought our first house on an ex council estate with an elderly population, we could afford it ( just) we had the know how to bring the property up to scratch and we weren't going to be worrying about feral kids 

The commute to work was hard. We had a tube and mainline station and were well serviced by buses, hell I never learned to drive till we moved into the middle of nowhere with no transport at all - the A3 is notorious for being a traffic jam

London has always been a transient city. When I was born there were lots of Poles, then the windrush , then the Pakistanis , the Indians, the Vietnese, these people came, settled in areas, Brixton was Black, Tooting was Indian/Pakistani, Earls court Australian and slowly as they made their money, they moved and these areas have changed 

And Londoners moved, south and we moved to Surrey and North - Essex  

Stereotypical but not so short of the mark  

London is London, its not the worse, its certainly not the best place to live 

All my peers have left London now, other then my sister, she stays as shes in HA accommodation and never got on the property ladder. Notting Hill, loves it for the community, hates it for the carnival but has raised a family and is a well known figure in the community 

There is community in London , I knew my neighbours when growing up and I knew them as an adult in three different parts of London

We now do weekend breaks to various UK cities, transport is always good ( we have to fly in so need public transport ), often better then London. The cities I mentioned previously are absolutely buzzing, full of life, full of opportunities , yet still have their areas of communities, where people settle , build friendships and relationships. They all have their hot spots for sure, places you dont want to be wandering around but thats every city all over the world 

Luke obviously hates London with a passion, thats his choice, hes not describing the London I spent 42 years in, and not in any of the best locations. I admit now that I do feel a tad more wary when I do return, but 17 years of rural living has me feeling like that in any city in the UK

You just mentioned main the problem, high turnover!

That kills all in a city, quality, number of criminals, people not settled (usually in bad situations, they turn out criminals, it's inevitable), high flat shares, small rooms (that's why people go out a lot and trash most of their salary in restaurants but MOSTLY alcool), squatters, but one thing that no one notices is how they disgrace the city where they live, basically disrespecting everything and everyone.

Oh yeah, I forgot the jobs, late hours, tons of weekend overtime for pennies or even for free, I mean, the financial ripoff of London .

(sweet announcement, I was very wealthy in London, but not enough to buy an house of 2M, or 1M just outside the center, so, not actually wealthy )

No way, London is garbage, end of the story, I've been in the best places, I did many expensive things reserved to few people, but it doesn't mean anything if I need to watch my back all the time and if it's a ripoff.

I'm surprised you can't see it after you left, or maybe you just went 10 miles away from the center .

Do you think perhaps you "need to watch your back all the time" because of your confrontational and offensive attitude? It certainly feels as though you are posting here deliberately to be provocative.

@Longwalker - spot on with Londoners having moved out. the town I live in falls into the "just into Essex" bracket, and pretty much every second person you speak to is a displaced Londoner - generally from the north or east of the city. Most seem to have relocated when they wanted to buy a property and could no longer afford to buy in their home city - and in many cases have now built a family and friendship group around them in their new location. The majority also seem to say that they would not now move back - certainly the just short of £400k we recently spent on our new home would need to be doubled to get us anything even vaguely comparable in the area local to where I work for example, and I don't think I could justify spending that!

Did I offend anyone? Maybe by telling the truth? That's not an offense, it's probably people not able to digest reality.

I also gave a good recommendation to the OP, Birmingham looks what he needs and it's in his pocket possibilities, I hope he succeeds and I didn't say anything against him, but certainly against the horror called London.

I guess that his depression comes from living there too, just look at the stats, are you surprised? With such financial pressure, it's a direct effect... But it's even more scary the mental illnesses in UK for under age people, absolutely shocked by that, and guess how it is for adults? Slightly better for no clear reasons, still bad anyway...