Splitting the bill

Kirkmain

When you get older,  and you have friends round, when is it acceptable to split the bill? If i invite guests over for dinner, I wouldn't ask them to pay even if I cooked. But how about a takeaway? Or going out to eat? What is the accepted etiquette? Does it change with lifestage?

oldernonethewiser

It depends on your relationship with friends. Some people will split others will take turns at paying. 

I would say it might change as financial circumstances change, not necessarily age related. 

If I invite people over for a meal then I pay, doesn't matter if I cook or get a takeaway.

eri1964

I am really glad I came across this thread. Two nights ago, couple of old family friends , who are 15 years older than me, invited us for dinner at a super high-end restaurant. Like the restaurant is known for it's ridiculous prices and not so good service. As they are friends of my parents, we accepted the invite respectively no matter of this. The man of the couple drank one glass of whisky after another and I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the check. No need to say, man offered to share the bill... I have to mention that me and my fiance are still interns and the couple is will aware of this fact.  I don't know, if I am being too traditional, but for me this kind of splitting just doesn't make sense.

Pollycat

eri1964 said:

I am really glad I came across this thread. Two nights ago, couple of old family friends , who are 15 years older than me, invited us for dinner at a super high-end restaurant. Like the restaurant is known for it's ridiculous prices and not so good service. As they are friends of my parents, we accepted the invite respectively no matter of this. The man of the couple drank one glass of whisky after another and I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the check. No need to say, man offered to share the bill... I have to mention that me and my fiance are still interns and the couple is will aware of this fact.  I don't know, if I am being too traditional, but for me this kind of splitting just doesn't make sense.

Slightly different scenario to the OP.
There's this thread that discusses dining out bill paying.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6297697/dining-out-bill-paying#latest

So how did you pay in the end?
What were your expectations of the evening?
Did you think it was a treat because they invited you or did you expect to pay for what you had?
In those circumstances, it's always best to be up-front about bill splitting.

We only eat out with people who are long standing friends and we eat & drink similar so always split the bill.

Abbafan1972

Pollycat said:

eri1964 said:

I am really glad I came across this thread. Two nights ago, couple of old family friends , who are 15 years older than me, invited us for dinner at a super high-end restaurant. Like the restaurant is known for it's ridiculous prices and not so good service. As they are friends of my parents, we accepted the invite respectively no matter of this. The man of the couple drank one glass of whisky after another and I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the check. No need to say, man offered to share the bill... I have to mention that me and my fiance are still interns and the couple is will aware of this fact.  I don't know, if I am being too traditional, but for me this kind of splitting just doesn't make sense.

Slightly different scenario to the OP.
There's this thread that discusses dining out bill paying.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6297697/dining-out-bill-paying#latest

So how did you pay in the end?
What were your expectations of the evening?
Did you think it was a treat because they invited you or did you expect to pay for what you had?
In those circumstances, it's always best to be up-front about bill splitting.

We only eat out with people who are long standing friends and we eat & drink similar so always split the bill.

The original post does mention dining out as well. 

oldernonethewiser

eri1964 said:

I am really glad I came across this thread. Two nights ago, couple of old family friends , who are 15 years older than me, invited us for dinner at a super high-end restaurant. Like the restaurant is known for it's ridiculous prices and not so good service. As they are friends of my parents, we accepted the invite respectively no matter of this. The man of the couple drank one glass of whisky after another and I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the check. No need to say, man offered to share the bill... I have to mention that me and my fiance are still interns and the couple is will aware of this fact.  I don't know, if I am being too traditional, but for me this kind of splitting just doesn't make sense.

That was your mistake.  You should, knowing what the restaurant was like, politely declined.

It appears this couple either are inconsiderate or enjoy exploiting others.

DigSunPap

I would split the bill when ordering a takeaway or going out. If I was cooking a meal for them I would see it as my treat to them.

itsthelittlethings

Same as the post above. I’m mid 40s and not mega well off the same as my friends. I might treat a friend to a takeaway but not routinely and if asked round for a takeaway would expect to pay for my share. However I have a regular family meal with my sister one day a week when we’re free and we alternate cooking. She did get a takeaway the other week as she hadn’t got ingredients for what she was going to make and she paid for that.

sg1000

This is simple as far as I am concerned:

You invite people to your home (home cooked meal, takeaway, professional chef employed), you pay.

Invited to a restaurant, split the bill....although always make sure to cast up if everyone else had pudding and you didn't

Rosa_Damascena

I don't understand why you would invite people over and order a takeaway (which to me is synonymous with rubbish). Much healthier and cheaper to self-cater, even if it comes from the supermarket chiller aisle. Your home, your rules and a person should feel sovereignty over their expenditure under their own roof. If your guests are gagging for a takeaway they can order it in their own home.

@eri1964 - sounds like this older couple were enjoying the social power they wielded over you. Shame on them!

DullGreyGuy

Rosa_Damascena said:
which to me is synonymous with rubbish

Why is takeaway synonymous with rubbish @Rosa_Damascena? There are Michelin Starred restaurants that do takeaway/deliveroo etc since Covid. You may not think they're worth the price but saying they are rubbish would be odd.

I invite you to my house, I foot the bill. If you're one of my friends you'll probably turn up with a couple of bottles of something and so arguably it's partly shared that way. 

Going out, it just makes sense to make it clear up front what the plan is. Used to do alternating paying the full bill but that gets complex when its a non-stack group so generally its just a split by the number of heads but occasionally will treat someone to something.