Splitting the bill

DigSunPap

sg1000 said:

This is simple as far as I am concerned:

You invite people to your home (home cooked meal, takeaway, professional chef employed), you pay.

Invited to a restaurant, split the bill....although always make sure to cast up if everyone else had pudding and you didn't

This is the perfect answer.

horsewithnoname

Rosa_Damascena said:

I don't understand why you would invite people over and order a takeaway (which to me is synonymous with rubbish). Much healthier and cheaper to self-cater, even if it comes from the supermarket chiller aisle. Your home, your rules and a person should feel sovereignty over their expenditure under their own roof. If your guests are gagging for a takeaway they can order it in their own home.

@eri1964 - sounds like this older couple were enjoying the social power they wielded over you. Shame on them!

The takeaway I use is run by a Michelin starred chef. It’s most Definitely not rubbish. 

Miser1964

If invited by friends for a meal, I'd have taken a gift/bottle of wine so would be mighty vexed if also asked to split the bill for a takeaway unless forewarned.

DigSunPap

Miser1964 said:

If invited by friends for a meal, I'd have taken a gift/bottle of wine so would be mighty vexed if also asked to split the bill for a takeaway unless forewarned.

I dont think bringing a bottle of wine excuses you from paying for your takeaway though. A bottle of wine can be as cheap as £5, depending on the price of your takeaway this could be a fraction of it - however it is a gesture that is usually appreciated by the host

maman

I think since Covid and the cost of living crisis, people are increasingly eating and drinking at home. This can be home cooking, deliveroo type or each bringing a course. Sometimes it's just drinks and nibbles.

What matters IMO is that ground rules are clear. 

 I think the OP was misled (understandably) as their invitation did sound like the older couple were inviting them and treating them.

I've paid for meals for family and friends when I've invited them to, for example, celebrate a big birthday. 

Generally speaking though, when I eat out with groups of friends we split the bill. It's not always equally though. We regularly have one tee total friend who joins us where we deduct her costs and then split the rest. 

arnoldy

IF you are the host at home you pay - no ifs or buts. I can think of no (or very few) circumstances when you invite people over to your house for a meal and you present them with a bill at the end of the evening. Takeaway might be one of those if understood in advance that everyone orders their own.

Rosa_Damascena

horsewithnoname said:

Rosa_Damascena said:

I don't understand why you would invite people over and order a takeaway (which to me is synonymous with rubbish). Much healthier and cheaper to self-cater, even if it comes from the supermarket chiller aisle. Your home, your rules and a person should feel sovereignty over their expenditure under their own roof. If your guests are gagging for a takeaway they can order it in their own home.

@eri1964 - sounds like this older couple were enjoying the social power they wielded over you. Shame on them!

The takeaway I use is run by a Michelin starred chef. It’s most Definitely not rubbish. 

That I wager is a minority. And certainly not what JustEat and Deliveroo promote to its mainstream audience:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAcQDD2UBOg&ab_channel=JustEat

Pollycat

Re the side discussion about takeaways and quality:
tastes differ.

Rosa_Damascena said:

I don't understand why you would invite people over and order a takeaway (which to me is synonymous with rubbish). Much healthier and cheaper to self-cater, even if it comes from the supermarket chiller aisle. 

I wouldn't buy an Indian/Chinese/Thai ready meal from a supermarket but we have an excellent Indian restaurant locally that do takeaways.
If you would eat at a restaurant, why wouldn't you order a takeaway from there?
Do you think the food is inferior?

I've eaten Indian food in India.
I can tell what tastes authentic.

Or maybe Indian/Thai/Chinese isn't your type of food...

DullGreyGuy

DigSunPap said:

Miser1964 said:

If invited by friends for a meal, I'd have taken a gift/bottle of wine so would be mighty vexed if also asked to split the bill for a takeaway unless forewarned.

I dont think bringing a bottle of wine excuses you from paying for your takeaway though. A bottle of wine can be as cheap as £5, depending on the price of your takeaway this could be a fraction of it - however it is a gesture that is usually appreciated by the host

A takeaway can also be £5pp and a bottle of wine can be thousands which even in London I'd struggle to get a takeaway to get up to on a pp basis. 

The main point is I am inviting you to my home for food then it seems unreasonable to then subsequently state that the food has to be paid for by the invitee. It'd be different if I invited you around for drinks and you yourself then suggest getting a takeaway or said my food was terrible and so you'll be buying a takeaway. 

If I were looking for a contribution on a takeaway, say because it was from one of the Michelin starred places, then I'd be clear up front when inviting you that it'd be a split bill basis and probably would be less surprised if you didn't turn up with a couple of bottles. 

DigSunPap

DullGreyGuy said:

DigSunPap said:

Miser1964 said:

If invited by friends for a meal, I'd have taken a gift/bottle of wine so would be mighty vexed if also asked to split the bill for a takeaway unless forewarned.

I dont think bringing a bottle of wine excuses you from paying for your takeaway though. A bottle of wine can be as cheap as £5, depending on the price of your takeaway this could be a fraction of it - however it is a gesture that is usually appreciated by the host

A takeaway can also be £5pp and a bottle of wine can be thousands which even in London I'd struggle to get a takeaway to get up to on a pp basis. 

The main point is I am inviting you to my home for food then it seems unreasonable to then subsequently state that the food has to be paid for by the invitee. It'd be different if I invited you around for drinks and you yourself then suggest getting a takeaway or said my food was terrible and so you'll be buying a takeaway. 

If I were looking for a contribution on a takeaway, say because it was from one of the Michelin starred places, then I'd be clear up front when inviting you that it'd be a split bill basis and probably would be less surprised if you didn't turn up with a couple of bottles. 

I think it depends on the level of friendship you have with the person/group. I am only 24 and I feel as though it is expected that we would all split a takeaway if we ordered one. It would never be assumed that the host would pay. Perhaps that is just my age but I'd like to think I will be the same as I get older.