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When you are outbid on a home



  • Poquito said:
    OP, you appear a bit sensitive to this process and this appears to have really knocked you for 6. As others have said try to not get too emotionally attached ( can be difficult) as you need to keep perspective.

    Home buying can be a long taxing process that isn’t always linear. The bidding and offers are the easy parts (imo). You need to save your energy for what happens after you’ve made the offer. 

    Making sure the home is sound… reading the surveys, chasing progress. 

    You’re really going to need to be more resilient during this process as it’s a possibility something may not go to plan and you need to be able to process this info make a plan and keep moving forward.

    When my daughter was buying she had to pull out a few days before signing contracts as an asbestos survey (suggested by the surveyor/ leasehold property) came back with 99 pages at a time when mortgage offers were suspended! Not knowing if we’d have to reapply was daunting but we pushed on.

    We didn’t dwell, we spent an evening making a plan to pull out, and viewed other properties the next day we had 2 more viewings and had put in an offer on another property (which was better and £10k cheaper after fierce negotiations)

    Don’t dwell, look for another property and move on. It may even come up again as available you never know, but keep moving forward.

    Homebuying doesn’t need to be ruthless or immoral, but as others have said it’s like bidding on eBay. Someone has to be first, but someone also has to lose… chin up and resume the search 

    I'm already planning to view others this week and next week. I don't stay down for too long but when something stings I have to release it first before I can get past it.

    From what I've learned, there's definitely some immorality in this game, in my opinion, but now that I understand the difference between bidding and gazumping (eww) I think I'll be able to enter bidding situations without feeling bad about it from here onward... because at least if the bidding is open then it's fair game but if a sale is agreed then it's game over as far as I'm concerned as I don't want to jump in and disrupt that process for someone who's already engaged in the buying process.
  • Emmia said:
    We put in a higher offer, gazumping someone... I'm sorry that someone else may have had their heart set on the property, but property is fundamentally a commercial/financial transaction... 

    It's probably best not to get too hung up on a perfect property, and if you offer, ask the seller takes it off the market as a result.
    I totally agree. Although gazumping is not pleasant it’s part of the English system.  

    We were looking to buy a house some years ago.  Our offer was accepted but before we had gone very far into the system the EA phoned and said they had received a higher offer which the seller took.  A few weeks later we received another call saying it had fallen through and were we still interested.  They didn’t understand why we said no :D.   Literally the following day we saw a bungalow.  We looked at each other, both nodded and we made an offer on the spot.  The EA went back to his office and the sellers, a lovely old couple, invited us into the conservatory for tea and home made cake.

    Everything went like clockwork and a few weeks later (things seem to have taken much less time then) we moved in.  
    This gazumping business is sneaky AF in my view. There's just no way I could ever see it in a positive light. Why exactly was it that you then said no? Was it like "nah, too late bro, you had your chance"? Or some other reason?
  • It might not be the end. I bidded on what I considered my dream house and lost it as j was second choice. Then about 2 weeks later it was back on Rightmove as the buyer pulled out. I quickly offered again slightly lower and was accepted this time.
    I now live in said dream house 😀 so it might not be the end, just save it in your Rightmove account and keep an eye on it. 
    I'm aware that it could actually come back to me. At which point (if it does) I'll have to consider if I still want to proceed or not. One thing that worries me, tho, is the chance of being engaged in the process of buying somewhere else and THEN they come back to me.

    That would pi$$ me right off big time. It should pi$$ anyone off.
  • user1977 said:
    Was your offer accepted and then you were outbid again? If so, that's disgusting behaviour and isn't really the norm. 
    No to be fair it wasn't accepted yet... but I just feel like it would make me uncomfortable to "gazump" (what a revolting word) someone.
    It's not gazumping if the offer had never been accepted. You were just bidding against someone else. That's pretty normal. Did you not know?
    No this is my first time so I guess it's new to me. I understand the difference you highlight, and I'll try to use it to ease this loss. However, to me, it still feels like the same thing at this point. Obviously, it would hurt much more if it was after a sale being agreed.
    It does seem somewhat of an over reaction to the situation. As others have pointed out you were one of several people bidding on a property, someone else bid more, that is it, that is how the housing market works, you made an offer, it was not the highest. When you come to sell at some point I am sure you will accept the higher offer of several you receive over the course of a week or two when viewings occur. You need to get on with life rather than dwelling on things that did not happen, find other properties, buy one of them, enjoy living in your own home. 
    It probably seems like an overreaction to those more experienced in this kind of business but as it's my first time I think I'm justified in the way this first loss has made me feel. I've suffered greater losses than this but it doesn't mean this was nothing. Although I'm sure getting this first one out of the way will make me more resilient for the future.
  • You don’t mention your age, but your experiences and reactions to me read like a byproduct of the “modern” way we are teaching the next generation. Not everyone is equal and in the real world we don’t all get a participation award.

    We aren’t teaching our future generations how to deal with disappointment. We need to be teaching resilience and the necessary skills to function and live in the real world
  • OP, it is admirable that you have what some people would consider to be such a strong moral compass. However the downside of that is that you get hurt / upset easily by things that you consider to be unpleasant, while others consider them to be a part of everyday life. It is annoying that you have missed out on this one but I can guarantee you, that if no offer has been accepted virtually everyone else in the country will have no issues with putting in an offer so you may need to rethink your outlook on this one. There are a sizable group of people who wouldn't put in an offer if one has already been accepted so if that is your red line it is understandable. Although keep in mind there is also a sizeable group who would not be put off by that.

    Personally I am 100% with Emmia on this, if I found a house I liked and felt to me it was worth the price I would absolutely attempt to gazump, on the flip side of the coin, I would also be prepared for that to happen to me, you cant have your cake and eat it!

    The way the world is you have to look out for number 1 in most situations and house buying is no different, I would always keep going until it reached a point that the house is no longer of interest at a price point. That point may be above or below asking, my max budget or below, but either way I am happy to keep going until that point is reached.
    Yeah, I already believe I'll be able to overcome the idea of outbidding someone but there not is a chance that I could barge in on someone's offer that's already been accepted, swiping it from them, and not be personally affected by what my own actions have done to someone/some other family. So, yes, my red line will remain on the correct side of such shady business. It's just completely off-limits.
  • Herzlos said:
    Dannydee333 said:

    I don't mean to be rude but I think that's actually a terrible thing to do and I would not want that on my conscience. Not to mention, I'd find it difficult to go about my day knowing it was supposed to be someone elses home.
    You can't think like that because (a) it wasn't someone elses home and (b) you'll go mad.

    We were the highest bid of about 3 for our new house - should I feel bad for taking someone else's dream home?
    There were 3 bids for our old house - should I feel bad for depriving 2 of them their dream home?

    Until the bid is accepted and the paperwork starts, you're logically no different from having bid and been rejected, as much as that sucks.

    I understand the difference now, and it helps. It also sucks (because I wanted that place).
  • jimbog said:
    user1977 said:
    sheramber said:
    Being the first offer means nothing. The seller is looking for the highest bidder.
    I know that, and I appreciate that. I would have kept going until it was mine if I had the extra funds, but I don't.

    So, instead, I got to experience the ugly side of the home-buying process.
    It's not "ugly", it just means you can't afford your dream home. Go find another dream home. Maybe a cheaper one.
    From my perspective, it is one of the uglier sides of this process. Yes, I'm new to it, but this is a bad first impression of how it works.
    When I put the first bid on ebay I never imagine it will be the only bid and I don't find it ugly when someone outbids me on it 
    I fail to recognise the correlation between bidding for a Daffy Duck phone cover on eBay, to buying a home.
  • Skiddaw1 said:
    @Dannydee333 house buying/selling really is one of the most stressful things ever. It's an emotional rollercoaster and no matter how you tell yourself to develop a thick skin and roll with the punches you'll still have meltdown moments (or at least that's my experience). All I can say is you WILL get there in the end. If this house wasn't The One there's a reason for it and (again based on my experience) you'll end up somewhere heaps better. Good luck and hang on in there.... :)
    I guess I can use this experience positively in that it will make me stronger for next time!
  • Hi,
    so it reads as though you are hoping to get in early and make first offer and if someone else offers more then you drop out?
    So either you will need to offer well over asking price, to put others off, or I doubt if you will ever be lucky in your quest for your the house you have your heart set on.

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