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When you are outbid on a home



  • I'm surprised there was a bidding war in this market, but don't get into bidding wars full stop. It's actually the seller's greed that's the problem.

    I just offer what I want to pay and walk away if it's not accepted. And if I sell I don't promote a bidding war either. It's an ugly thing to do imo.

    also, remtmber it's just a house. A ton of bricks. It's not a home until you make it such.
    Thank you. You hit the nail on the head and these are easily implementable ideas for me since they align with how I want to approach this. Most people have been telling me I just need to get ruthless and look after number 1, but that doesn't sit well with me. I don't want to screw anyone over on the way.
    Also remember that some people think they've 'won' by paying more than they can afford / the house is worth, as though paying more money is better. They're just being played by a selling technique.

    You have to be strong enough to walk away, but ultimately it makes life easier,
    Today, I'm upset. Hopefully tomorrow, or this week, I can start to see the cons of what I was about to enter into. It's probably a good thing I didn't have more money or I would have continued bidding emotionally.
  • BobT36
    BobT36 Posts: 508
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    You didn't even have an offer accepted though... No one was "supposed to" live there until the vendor actually ACCEPTED an offer (and put it as Sold Subject to Contract). Of course even then, you can still be gazumped, but that is indeed bad practice, but you weren't even there yet. 

    Have you ever used Ebay? Same thing. 

    Also 99% of houses the agents will tell you there's at least "two offers" (even if there aren't any) so if you go with your approach, you're never going to be able to make an offer on anything. 
  • Emmia
    Emmia Posts: 2,946
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    edited 20 September 2023 at 9:17AM
    Emmia said:
    We put in a higher offer, gazumping someone... I'm sorry that someone else may have had their heart set on the property, but property is fundamentally a commercial/financial transaction... 

    It's probably best not to get too hung up on a perfect property, and if you offer, ask the seller takes it off the market as a result.
    I tried hard not to get too attached but it's not always possible, evidently.

    I don't mean to be rude but I think that's actually a terrible thing to do and I would not want that on my conscience. Not to mention, I'd find it difficult to go about my day knowing it was supposed to be someone elses home. I even find the word gazumping itself revolting. I only became aware of it a few weeks ago and as soon as I heard it and found out the definition; yuk.

    Or,,, perhaps I may actually find myself in the minority and that most people don't actually give a hoot who they steamroll in the process of buying a home.
    If you bought the house, at whatever price, you also may be buying something someone else wanted just as much (or more) as you did, house buying is fundamentally a transaction, like any other.

    I feel no guilt about offering more, the property was more than worth it. To give you an idea, I offered a higher amount of less than 1% of the selling price to secure the property. The sellers wanted a quick sale too and we were proceedable first time buyers, no chain, AIP in place... I also suspect there were issues with the other buyers proceedability (we viewed when it was already it was sold, subject to contract) so when we came along...

    Sellers can accept whatever offer they want, from whoever they like... some want more money, some want a quick sale, some want people without a chain, some won't sell to first time buyers, some want to sell their family home to people who they expect to live in it and raise their kids there.

    Do you have difficulty dealing with failure and rejection generally? How do you feel (for example) if you apply for a job, but don't get to interview, or get to interview but don't get the job, even though you thought you did well?

    Best of luck with your future hunt and purchase.

  • OP, you appear a bit sensitive to this process and this appears to have really knocked you for 6. As others have said try to not get too emotionally attached ( can be difficult) as you need to keep perspective.

    Home buying can be a long taxing process that isn’t always linear. The bidding and offers are the easy parts (imo). You need to save your energy for what happens after you’ve made the offer. 

    Making sure the home is sound… reading the surveys, chasing progress. 

    You’re really going to need to be more resilient during this process as it’s a possibility something may not go to plan and you need to be able to process this info make a plan and keep moving forward.

    When my daughter was buying she had to pull out a few days before signing contracts as an asbestos survey (suggested by the surveyor/ leasehold property) came back with 99 pages at a time when mortgage offers were suspended! Not knowing if we’d have to reapply was daunting but we pushed on.

    We didn’t dwell, we spent an evening making a plan to pull out, and viewed other properties the next day we had 2 more viewings and had put in an offer on another property (which was better and £10k cheaper after fierce negotiations)

    Don’t dwell, look for another property and move on. It may even come up again as available you never know, but keep moving forward.

    Homebuying doesn’t need to be ruthless or immoral, but as others have said it’s like bidding on eBay. Someone has to be first, but someone also has to lose… chin up and resume the search 

  • Murphybear
    Murphybear Posts: 7,248
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    edited 20 September 2023 at 6:11AM
    Emmia said:
    We put in a higher offer, gazumping someone... I'm sorry that someone else may have had their heart set on the property, but property is fundamentally a commercial/financial transaction... 

    It's probably best not to get too hung up on a perfect property, and if you offer, ask the seller takes it off the market as a result.
    I totally agree. Although gazumping is not pleasant it’s part of the English system.  

    We were looking to buy a house some years ago.  Our offer was accepted but before we had gone very far into the system the EA phoned and said they had received a higher offer which the seller took.  A few weeks later we received another call saying it had fallen through and were we still interested.  They didn’t understand why we said no :D.   Literally the following day we saw a bungalow.  We looked at each other, both nodded and we made an offer on the spot.  The EA went back to his office and the sellers, a lovely old couple, invited us into the conservatory for tea and home made cake.

    Everything went like clockwork and a few weeks later (things seem to have taken much less time then) we moved in.  
  • It might not be the end. I bidded on what I considered my dream house and lost it as j was second choice. Then about 2 weeks later it was back on Rightmove as the buyer pulled out. I quickly offered again slightly lower and was accepted this time.
    I now live in said dream house 😀 so it might not be the end, just save it in your Rightmove account and keep an eye on it. 
  • user1977 said:
    Was your offer accepted and then you were outbid again? If so, that's disgusting behaviour and isn't really the norm. 
    No to be fair it wasn't accepted yet... but I just feel like it would make me uncomfortable to "gazump" (what a revolting word) someone.
    It's not gazumping if the offer had never been accepted. You were just bidding against someone else. That's pretty normal. Did you not know?
    No this is my first time so I guess it's new to me. I understand the difference you highlight, and I'll try to use it to ease this loss. However, to me, it still feels like the same thing at this point. Obviously, it would hurt much more if it was after a sale being agreed.
    It does seem somewhat of an over reaction to the situation. As others have pointed out you were one of several people bidding on a property, someone else bid more, that is it, that is how the housing market works, you made an offer, it was not the highest. When you come to sell at some point I am sure you will accept the higher offer of several you receive over the course of a week or two when viewings occur. You need to get on with life rather than dwelling on things that did not happen, find other properties, buy one of them, enjoy living in your own home. 
  • OP, it is admirable that you have what some people would consider to be such a strong moral compass. However the downside of that is that you get hurt / upset easily by things that you consider to be unpleasant, while others consider them to be a part of everyday life. It is annoying that you have missed out on this one but I can guarantee you, that if no offer has been accepted virtually everyone else in the country will have no issues with putting in an offer so you may need to rethink your outlook on this one. There are a sizable group of people who wouldn't put in an offer if one has already been accepted so if that is your red line it is understandable. Although keep in mind there is also a sizeable group who would not be put off by that.

    Personally I am 100% with Emmia on this, if I found a house I liked and felt to me it was worth the price I would absolutely attempt to gazump, on the flip side of the coin, I would also be prepared for that to happen to me, you cant have your cake and eat it!

    The way the world is you have to look out for number 1 in most situations and house buying is no different, I would always keep going until it reached a point that the house is no longer of interest at a price point. That point may be above or below asking, my max budget or below, but either way I am happy to keep going until that point is reached.
  • UnderOffer
    UnderOffer Posts: 789
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    edited 20 September 2023 at 7:49AM
    It wouldn’t surprise me if in a week, you hear back from the EA that the new buyers can’t proceed. If you don’t, then it’s not meant to be… and a better, new home is waiting for you. Good luck. 
  • Herzlos
    Herzlos Posts: 14,611
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Dannydee333 said:

    I don't mean to be rude but I think that's actually a terrible thing to do and I would not want that on my conscience. Not to mention, I'd find it difficult to go about my day knowing it was supposed to be someone elses home.
    You can't think like that because (a) it wasn't someone elses home and (b) you'll go mad.

    We were the highest bid of about 3 for our new house - should I feel bad for taking someone else's dream home?
    There were 3 bids for our old house - should I feel bad for depriving 2 of them their dream home?

    Until the bid is accepted and the paperwork starts, you're logically no different from having bid and been rejected, as much as that sucks.

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