And now we go again...

Makingabobor2

Sounds like you've been busy. Wish my dad would let us sort stuff when we visit, like your mum does. His house is becoming a mess of junk & no amount of trying to tell him seems to make any difference. He just says its all ok & we can have it/sort it out when he's gone! 

LadyWithAPlan

badmemory said:

You have made me realise how boring I have got as I too used to go freezer diving when I had a (cheaper to run) chest freezer.  I now have a 12 col spreadsheet covering the 6 shelves.   The first is either the expiry date or HF for home frozen.  If I don't half empty one of those Xmas is going to be a little interesting as it is crammed & where is Xmas Eve's prawn ring going to go.  Traditionally eaten standing in the kitchen between making bread crumbs (a lot) & grated cheese.

Liking your excel!!

I have been trying to eat down my freezer for weeks now to defrost ... argh.. so I suggest you start now !

Makingabobor2 said:

Sounds like you've been busy. Wish my dad would let us sort stuff when we visit, like your mum does. His house is becoming a mess of junk & no amount of trying to tell him seems to make any difference. He just says its all ok & we can have it/sort it out when he's gone! 

Ouch!! Have you got him watching the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning show yet - it got my mum moving on some stuff... Its free to watch on u.co.uk - free sign up no cc needed

Sun_Addict

Sounds like you've had some great finds at your mum's house. How lovely to come across your nan's table and tray cloths. 

Makingabobor2

No way would he watch anything like that @LadyWithAPlan, he lives in his own little reality and just can't see how bad it is. If mum were still alive she would be mortified, she was always so house proud. Maybe its because she did everything for him, that he has got like this now.  Although TBF, he is 92.  My sister and I keep offering to blitz the place, but he just relies on his cleaner....who is useless and only cleans, but never tidies stuff up.  One day, I will just go down there and do it for him, as I can't stand it much longer.  Its not that I want any of his stuff, just that I want to make it better for him to spend his last years in, and to keep safe and clean, anything that might be of value or sentimental.  A few years ago, we found his wedding album on the floor in the damp conservatory. He didn't even know it was there. When I told him to keep it in the house, he has now added it to the pile of junk in the spare bedroom. Its just best if we don't think about it now...it stresses us out too much

PennysIntoPounds

How nice to find your Nan's cloths, and the note. Looking into the potential historical interest sounds like a pleasing cosy autumnal weekend afternoon job.

That's so challenging @Makingabobor2, I'm sorry. Is there a way to frame it as you'd love to take some bits of his and your mum's to have more of their presence in your home? And if that coincidentally includes stuff that is posing a danger or should go in the bin then so be it

Makingabobor2

PennysIntoPounds said:

How nice to find your Nan's cloths, and the note. Looking into the potential historical interest sounds like a pleasing cosy autumnal weekend afternoon job.

That's so challenging @Makingabobor2, I'm sorry. Is there a way to frame it as you'd love to take some bits of his and your mum's to have more of their presence in your home? And if that coincidentally includes stuff that is posing a danger or should go in the bin then so be it

No way he'd agree to that.  He never even gave my sister and I anything to remember my mum by when she died.  He just says we'll get it all when he's gone.  Last year I asked if I could borrow some photos as I wanted to scan them and share with other family members.  We discovered a photo album, thrown on the spare bedroom floor that we knew nothing about, I brought it home, and decided to keep it on a long term "borrow" as its the only way to keep it safe. So when we visited last time, I said I'd forgotten to take it back.  He then rang me a few weeks later asking me to post it to him as there was a photo he wanted from it....lol.  I asked him which one it was, and said I'd send that one and keep the rest for a while, pretending I hadn't scanned them yet.  He said to hurry up and take them back as I could have them again when he's dead!   

PennysIntoPounds

Oh dear @Makingabobor2 that does sound a bit like a psychological hoarding issue doesn't it. Do you think it's a reaction to being widowed, or dealing with mortality, or making sure that you're obliged to be in his life? Such a shame when people make things harder for themselves and their loved ones, though very human and understandable 

LadyWithAPlan

So sorry to hear this, as you say pointless to stress about it, you cant change him

I think maybe a 10 min declutter of at least trash when you go each time? Might slowly get it cleaner/safer at least.

EssexHebridean

Oh lordy MaB that does sound like a tricky situation to resolve - and all the worse if it is starting to be harmful for your Dad too. MY FIL was a bit like that - insisted on keeping every bill etc regardless of how old. It caused huge issues when they moved a few years ago as in spite of oldest MIL and I taking it upon ourselves by the time we were doing the last minute packing to throw away as much clearly no longer needed stuff as possible, they still ended up taking masses of completely pointless toot with them. That is now causing MIL problems as she wants to sort the house out but is struggling to access stuff she wants due to al the stuff she doesn't! Thankfully my Mum is very keen that we DON'T have masses of stuff to sort out when she's gone - hence the request to get up there and help her sort stuff!  I think next time we go is going to be a focus on stuff that can just go to the tip - there is plenty of it! 

Small wins here - I spotted at the weekend that we had a CC voucher that will expire at the end of this month, so we talked about what to do with it and have elected to swap it out with some more for the required amount to renew our railcard when the current one expires in a few months. I just need to remember when the time comes that I have the code there for it though!  The next one to keep an eye on is expiring at the end of February so I will have to come up with a plan for that - I rather think we might just use some of them for some christmas food though, as the partner offers these days really aren't much good at all. We used to use them for all sorts of things - the tickets for the Good Food show were a regular purchase, and various other days out options, but there isn't much at all that works for us now. (Plus of course the exchange value is now so much lower too!) Of course that also in turn leads to less of a "pull" towards shopping in T's, so they aren't doing themselves any favours! 

Banks checked and all good - I think the deposit for the office door is going to come from the account which also feeds our regular savers - having done some quick sums and bearing in mind that the next Reg Saver to mature isn't all that long away we can get away with that and I would sooner do that than raid the longer term savings. Just waiting for the door people to arrange for their chap to come and survey now, then we can organise the fitting date. It should only be a few weeks away though which is excellent. 

I am still having a cracking month with Prolific - currently sitting at £20.71 with £8.12 pending which is pretty decent for not even quite half way through the month! They can whistle for anything paying under about £6/hr though - much as I'm keen to do them, I'm not that keen! 

Other than that, pretty much "all quiet" at the moment - no bad thing! We've got tickets booked for the local beer festival on Friday - in the bigger town to the north of us - which should be good fun. MrEH is using a half day off work so we will scoff lunch then hop on the bus as soon as he finishes. We're also in the process of plotting a fun day out meeting up with pals in a few weeks - but that's in the planning stages still. 

lucielle

Lots of exciting things to look forwards to. Good idea to sort things out now before it’s too late. 

L