Asked to leave family home, I don't want to

badmemory

To be honest I would be worried about your child.  If the child's first experience of school is going to be at 11, does your ex think that just because they are at school then no further help that you have been supplying will be needed?  That does seem to be the case due to the timing & just a tad shortsighted I think.  This is a situation that I personally would find quite worrying.

RAS

jonB

Do also take advice on the benefits situation.

You currently have the beneficial interest in a house worth 60kish. If you move out and need benefits, you may have difficulties if that beneficial interest does not translate into money.

There was a poster here whose wife and child moved to another jurisdiction. There was little equity at the time. He continued to pay down the mortgage and maintenance for the child whilst she got benefits and housing support.

Ten years later, the benefits authority realised she still had a beneficial interest in a property elsewhere in which there was a lot of equity and demanded she repay the housing support by selling the house unless he could re-mortgage.

This isn't so much of an issue with short-term arrangements when couples are splitting. But take good advice about the benefits situation before you agreed to forego your beneficial interest. 

jonB

Afternoon, may I ask for some more advice please?  After further discussions, there is no way back from my situation, the ex is adamant she wants me out so I have accepted this.

She states that a letter from the solicitor will arrive shorty. She says it will offer £30k as well as 30 days to vacate the property on completion of paperwork. 

I will accept the £30k.  Given the lack of rental properties (there are two in my location both unaffordable) my question is, once I get the paperwork from her solicitor, can I hold onto it before signing until I find somewhere, or can she/the solicitor force me to sign to get me out?  I would have thought come July/August I will have found somewhere, hopefully sooner.

Thank you.

DE_612183

You can hold onto it as long as you like - the 30 days will only kick in WHEN you have signed.

The only option she has if you don't sign is to WITHDRAW the offer - which I guess she won't do, but you'd be happy with.

I still don't understand why you are in any rush - she wants to do this, so she should dance to your tune not the other way around.

What are the child arrangements once you've moved out?
What happens to the deeds of the property once you've moved out?

Can you afford the deposit on a rental?
Can you afford the monthly payment on a rental ( and not just from the lump sum ) you need to prove affordability.

DE_612183

you also said the property is worth £230k and there is £75k outstanding on the mortgage - thats £155k equity - why are you not getting half of that?

she should pay the legal fees out of her half of the equity not yours.

you should be getting at least £75k

gizmo111

jonB said:

Afternoon, may I ask for some more advice please?  After further discussions, there is no way back from my situation, the ex is adamant she wants me out so I have accepted this.

She states that a letter from the solicitor will arrive shorty. She says it will offer £30k as well as 30 days to vacate the property on completion of paperwork. 

I will accept the £30k.  Given the lack of rental properties (there are two in my location both unaffordable) my question is, once I get the paperwork from her solicitor, can I hold onto it before signing until I find somewhere, or can she/the solicitor force me to sign to get me out?  I would have thought come July/August I will have found somewhere, hopefully sooner.

Thank you.

Ask her to leave if she wants to separate - there is so much more to work out than just agreeing to what she wants, not just financially but arrangements for your child. 

ZaSa1418

jonB said:

Afternoon, may I ask for some more advice please?  After further discussions, there is no way back from my situation, the ex is adamant she wants me out so I have accepted this.

She states that a letter from the solicitor will arrive shorty. She says it will offer £30k as well as 30 days to vacate the property on completion of paperwork. 

I will accept the £30k.  Given the lack of rental properties (there are two in my location both unaffordable) my question is, once I get the paperwork from her solicitor, can I hold onto it before signing until I find somewhere, or can she/the solicitor force me to sign to get me out?  I would have thought come July/August I will have found somewhere, hopefully sooner.

Thank you.

Why are you agreeing to leave for 30k, your share is much more than this. 

jonB

£30k is all she can raise from her own funds. I don't want to go down the road of the house being sold, my 11 year old needs security in this uncertain climate of which this house provides.   If I ask for more then she reportages or whatever and then there's the risk of selling the house. £30k would provide me with a six month deposit, money to purchase white goods, etc, put money into the utility account, council tax, etc, so all those will be no worries whilst I find a job of which there are plenty of.   I am in no rush to move out as such, if I had somewhere to move then I'd get this sorted ASAP, but I don't hence asking can I just hold onto the paperwork.

Yes, I'm probably a fool for not getting more but honestly, I just want this to go smoothly without the threat of the house being sold. 

Thank you again for the replies.

To add, the property would revert to her ownership on completion, my name removed from everything.

Child care, she states the letter will say I can have unrestricted access to my daughter, she will take care of the day to day looking after of her.

[Deleted User]

Jon, if you offered her 30k, do you think she would accept it as a reasonable figure?

I don't think she'd find it acceptable, neither would her family, friends or solicitor.

So why should you accept it?

You have a strong bargaining position, use it to your (and your childs) advantage.
50k and shared custody would seem a very reasonable compromise? It appears that you could argue for much more??

gizmo111

jonB said:

£30k is all she can raise from her own funds. I don't want to go down the road of the house being sold, my 11 year old needs security in this uncertain climate of which this house provides.   If I ask for more then she reportages or whatever and then there's the risk of selling the house. £30k would provide me with a six month deposit, money to purchase white goods, etc, put money into the utility account, council tax, etc, so all those will be no worries whilst I find a job of which there are plenty of.   I am in no rush to move out as such, if I had somewhere to move then I'd get this sorted ASAP, but I don't hence asking can I just hold onto the paperwork.

Yes, I'm probably a fool for not getting more but honestly, I just want this to go smoothly without the threat of the house being sold. 

Thank you again for the replies.

To add, the property would revert to her ownership on completion, my name removed from everything.

Child care, she states the letter will say I can have unrestricted access to my daughter, she will take care of the day to day looking after of her.

£30k is all she can raise from her own funds.   Then she will need to get a mortgage for the remaining amount.
Before you agree to anything financially what are the proposals for child arrangements?