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How to check whether mum and dad are actually married

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  • Flugelhorn
    Flugelhorn Posts: 7,298 Forumite
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    Poquito said:
    @F37A what will you do once you have this information, surely discuss matters with your parents! Time appears to be of the essence if your father is gravely ill. No time to waste if your mother is potentially going to be put in a difficult position if something happens to your father. Explain why you are asking… (I’m assuming it’s so your mother can be in the strongest position). If there’s time to put things in place to help, don’t waste time with this cloak and dagger approach…

    Why would you not choose open dialogue to approach this? Are you hoping they are NOT married? Can’t see the point of the “investigative” approach.

    edited to @ you directly 
    this sort of situation throws up huge problems - depending on the actual family structure. If no married and perhaps "Dad" is not his father - then mum won't automatically inherit the house if no will etc, would go to a relative of "Dad" - including presumably mum's deposit.

    can understand the difficulty in the dialogue -any discussions may well have been firmly shut down in the past.
  • Sarahspangles
    Sarahspangles Posts: 3,239 Forumite
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    Are you asking because your parents may have married under Sharia law?
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  • Emmia
    Emmia Posts: 5,585 Forumite
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    Given your dad is gravely ill - I'd ask about whether there is a will in place? This might prompt the (valid) marriage question.

    Weddings and Wills can be arranged quickly whilst they're both alive... The OP probably needs to be a bit less squeamish about asking - just bl**dy ask.

    Do you think either of your parents will be offended if you ask?
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,236 Forumite
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    F37A said:
    Hi 

    My dad may pass away in a number of months. My dad is the only owner of the property. I do recall my mother provided half the deposit for the property. 

    How can i as the son check if my mum and dad are married without me having to discuss? ie can i check online?

    Thanks 
    It's tricky - however, it's worth thinking through why you need to know.

    Are you an only child? 

    (assuming your father hasn't made a will)  then if they are married, your mum as surviving spouse is entitled to £270,000 plus half of the balance (and you and any siblings would inherit the balance in equal shares)

    If they aren't married, then you (and any other children) would inherit and could then chose to either allow your mum to stay in the house or could execute a deed of variation to transfer the house to her.
    Also, your mum would be able to make a claim under the inheritance act as someone who was living with him as husband and wife and wholly or partly supported by him, for reasonable provision rom his estate. She might separately have a beneficial claim on the property based on her contribution towards the deposit.

    Is it possible to speak to your dad about whether he has made a will, and what he would want to happen on death? 
    Do you have other siblings who might cause issues f it turns out that they are not married and he hasn't made a will? 
    Would it be possible for you to mention to your mum that she may her her marriage certificate to deal with financial issues when dad dies, and take the conversation from there? 


    Assuming that you dad still has capacity, it would be sensible for him to make/ update his will in any event. 
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,308 Forumite
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    TBagpuss said:
    Would it be possible for you to mention to your mum that she may her her marriage certificate to deal with financial issues when dad dies, and take the conversation from there? 
    My parents' marriage certificate was one of the items I took to register Dad's death. Obviously it wasn't absolutely REQUIRED but it was on the desirable list.

    That in itself may open a conversation. "Mum, we're going to need some of the following,  what can you find?"
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • F37A
    F37A Posts: 333 Forumite
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    macman said:
    A bit of context here would be helpful. Has your dad made a will? Are they married/separated/divorced (allegedly, according to your dad)? If so, what makes you think they are not?
    Is the premise here that you do not wish your mother to have any claim on the estate under the laws of intestacy?
    You can check for a marriage certificate if you can narrow down the dates and location.

    I don't think he has a will but need to check. Not sure how you concluded "premise". If they are not married then well if there is a will then the property could go to someone completely different.
  • F37A
    F37A Posts: 333 Forumite
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    Emmia said:
    Are there no wedding photos in the house? That would indicate whether or not they are married.

    Personally I'd just ask them...
    No pictures that i've seen
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,644 Forumite
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    Are you asking have my parents EVER married or are my parents STILL married? If they've never married then your Mum won't inherit without a will. This will be the case if as someone else has said they've married under something not recognised in the UK as marriage.

    If you're wondering if they're still married, perhaps because they split up a long time ago or have never lived in the same house then if they are your Mum will inherit, perhaps not everything as I believe different amounts of estate and where you live in the UK  affect things.

    But why wouldn't you know? Does your Mum have a different surname or if she does is that common in the culture/country your parents are from? Does she use Mrs as a title. Have they never discussed their wedding day? What is making you wonder that they possibly aren't? 
  • F37A
    F37A Posts: 333 Forumite
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    Are you asking because your parents may have married under Sharia law?
    I'm asking as then if not married the property could be lost. i.e would not pass to my mother or her children
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 20,740 Forumite
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    F37A said:
    Are you asking because your parents may have married under Sharia law?
    I'm asking as then if not married the property could be lost. i.e would not pass to my mother or her children
    It would pass to her children unless your father is not actually your biological father. You really need to grab this by the horns and ask your mother when / if they were married. 
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