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How to check whether mum and dad are actually married

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Hi 

My dad may pass away in a number of months. My dad is the only owner of the property. I do recall my mother provided half the deposit for the property. 

How can i as the son check if my mum and dad are married without me having to discuss? ie can i check online?

Thanks 
«13456

Comments

  • macman
    macman Posts: 53,129 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    A bit of context here would be helpful. Has your dad made a will? Are they married/separated/divorced (allegedly, according to your dad)? If so, what makes you think they are not?
    Is the premise here that you do not wish your mother to have any claim on the estate under the laws of intestacy?
    You can check for a marriage certificate if you can narrow down the dates and location.

    No free lunch, and no free laptop ;)
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,949 Forumite
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    edited 16 April 2023 at 5:15PM
    Asking them really would seem to be the simplest way.
    Do you have particular reason to think either they might or they might not be?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • xylophone
    xylophone Posts: 45,604 Forumite
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    edited 16 April 2023 at 5:22PM
    Do you have your own full birth certificate?

    https://www.ukbaptisms.net/cert_sample.htm


    https://www.freebmd.org.uk/cgi/search.pl

    might help.

  • Flugelhorn
    Flugelhorn Posts: 7,298 Forumite
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    xylophone said:
    Do you have your own full birth certificate?

    https://www.ukbaptisms.net/cert_sample.htm
    this is key - if mum registered you on her own and put Dad's details in then highly likely they were married. If they both turned up then it could be either way 
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
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    If married wouldn't they mark the anniversary in some way?
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • If married wouldn't they mark the anniversary in some way?
    Even if someone had an ‘anniversary’ party doesn’t prove they are legal married (although very much does increase likelihood) 
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,691 Forumite
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    Or try a free 14 day subscription to one of the data websites? (or probably free at the local library) Especially if one or both has a name more convenient for searching than 'John Smith'.  Do you expect the marriage would have been in the UK?

    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • MalMonroe
    MalMonroe Posts: 5,783 Forumite
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    Hi, there's some government info here, if you really can't discuss it  -

    https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/discover-your-family-history/discover-your-family-history-accessible-version#what-should-i-do-if-i-cannot-find-a-birth-marriage-or-death-certificate

    I don't suppose they have a place where they keep all their confidential documents? Or maybe you tried that already. 

    Good luck with it, sorry to hear your dad's so ill. 
    Please note - taken from the Forum Rules and amended for my own personal use (with thanks) : It is up to you to investigate, check, double-check and check yet again before you make any decisions or take any action based on any information you glean from any of my posts. Although I do carry out careful research before posting and never intend to mislead or supply out-of-date or incorrect information, please do not rely 100% on what you are reading. Verify everything in order to protect yourself as you are responsible for any action you consequently take.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,514 Forumite
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    Or go to the local library. Many subscribe to the Library version of Ancestry which includes English and Welsh births and marriages, up to 2005 I think. Free to use.

    Obviously doesn't help if they decided to marry abroad.


    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 20,740 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    It seems odd that you know your mother contributed to rather house purchase but don’t know if they are actually married. If they are not married and you father has no will this could be disastrous for your mother especially if your father’s estate falls into IHT territory. 

    Why not just ask them when their wedding anniversary is? If it turns out they are not married then the least your father should do is make a will, and  if IHT is an issue marriage or civil partnership should seriously be considered.
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