Common-law Spouse of 8 Years Would Not Update His Will: What are the Consequences?

Lord_Frugal12

Hello! 

I would like your help and advise about an issue that has been making me sad for many years. I hope you could help me with the right information and strategies. 

My cousin has been in a long term relationship with a guy for eight years. During these eight years, they had also been living together in a house owned by the guy. He pays the mortgage and most other bills while my cousin pays for the food and a monthly payment of £200. (I'm not 100% sure of this figure. It might be higher. But, I hope you get my point!). This guy is obese and lives to eat every thirty minutes. 

This guy is also exploiting our benefits system to get enough money for himself so he only has to work about sixteen hours a week. On top, the property was bought from an inheritance. So, the mortgage is nearly paid off. But, he kept some money from the inheritance in savings and had a small mortgage to pay off. So, he had been financially astute in using the inheritance to have a nice, relaxed lifestyle. 

He also has serious health problems which requires my cousin to look after him as if she were his nurse and personal assistant. She had to endure the stress of having to help her spouse through many uncomfortable health problems. On top, she has her part time job to go to as well. 

So, our family have asked him many times when they would get married. They got engaged just before the pandemic. And when the pandemic started, the guy said, "We'll get married when the lockdown ends."

Well, the lockdowns and the pandemic have ended.  But, this guy still won't get married. Now, he is producing other excuses such as "I don't see the hurry in getting married"; All the registration offices in our area are booked up until October..."; "I don't understand the concept of other people putting pressure on us to get married.."; 

A year ago, he said he would marry my cousin last October. And that never happened. 

My cousin is a vulnerable person. So, although she wants to marry this guy, she cannot risk putting any pressure on him in case he ends the relationship. Through our cost of living crisis, my cousin cannot afford to move out and rent or buy her own property. She is dependent on this guy for accommodation.  It terrifies her to be homeless. This has happened to her at least three times in her life. So, she is enduring a life of modern day servitude while still showing a lot of affection, love and sacrifice. Every single one of our relatives and friends said  that our cousin can do much better than this guy. We all feel that this guy is taking advantage of my cousin's good nature and emotional vulnerabilities. She suffers from extremely low self-esteem, anxiety and other moderate mental health problems. So, she lacks the confidence to end the relationship to be single or start all over again. 

So, as you can see, this is a sad situation. 

Both are in their mid-40s. And the guy has serious health problems. Every day, he is on about twenty different tablets to treat a long list of health problems. On top, he is addicted to eating. He reminds me of the character Cresote from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. 

We are worried regarding the worse case scenario: what if he dies without updating his Will? 

He has an old will when he bought the property. This version leaves everything to his sibling. But, for many months, instead of marrying my cousin, this guy has been saying he would update his Will. In in, he plans to leave his property to his sibling and his wife. The property is currently valued at £400,000. What does this guy plan to leave my cousin? "My bank account." 

And his bank balance does not have much! He has some savings while most of his income are from government benefits and his 16-hour week that pays minimum wage. 

How would you feel if you were in my cousin's position? She knows her situation is precarious. If she says anything, the relationship could end. If she does not say anything, and he dies, she would be left homeless and not much money to start a new life. She has given eight years of her life to this professional slacker and the 21st century Cresote. He is an insensitive. In front of my cousin,  he praises other girls and flirts with them. In front of my cousin, he would say "That Emily down the road is fit. I really fancy her... I don't mean 'fit' as in I fancy her. But she is  a really nice girl."    He pays for attractive  young female East European cleaners to clean his house so he can watch the cleaners in their  leggings.  And he would go to  their Facebook accounts to drool over their selfies.  So far, too many of these cleaners had failed to last more than five weeks in this cleaning job.   Whenever he was forced by his doctors to lose weight, he would hire a personal trainer who has always been female,  in her early 20s and beautiful. And every one of those personal trainers had fired  him for all sorts of reasons. 

So, what are my cousin's realistic options? 

If he dies without updating his Will, the property and his bank balance would go to his sibling and wife. 

If he dies with an updated Will, my cousin would get some money, but it won't be much. She had lived as his  wife without getting married. There is no marriage certificate. But, for eight years, they have been living together as husband and wife in every sense but in the legal sense. 

We would be really grateful for any advice. I really hope you can empathiise with my cousin's position.   It would be too easy to say "She should just leave him now." But, as I said before, she is an extremely vulnerable person. My cousin has invested too much of herself in to this relationship. And the really sad thing is that she genuinely cares and loves this man. She feels sorry for him. Without  my cousin, he would not survive two days. He can't be without her for more than five hours. He has to be with her as much as possible. He is one of those men who is incapable of being on his own. Before this man, my cousin has been on her own for over ten years. And the truth is, if my cousin were to leave this guy, we can't think of one decent and respectable woman who would even go on a date with this guy, let alone endure his slothful and controlling self that lives to sit on a sofa all day, eat and watch sports  channels all day and night.

   
   


  

Keep_pedalling

He does not have a wife so your cousin gets nothing if he dies with the current will or with no will. 

Even if he made a will making her a beneficiary or giving her a life interest in the property his estate would be subject to inheritance tax because there is no spousal exemption available. Maybe tackling it from a IHT avoidance angle might get him to pull his finger out.

theoretica

Look at the requirements for being able to claim reasonable financial provision as a dependent of his.  The Inheritance Act of 1975 (assuming they live in England or Wales. 

Mojisola

theoretica said:

Look at the requirements for being able to claim reasonable financial provision as a dependent of his.  The Inheritance Act of 1975 (assuming they live in England or Wales. 

This is worth looking at -

"The classes of applicant who may bring a claim is defined under the Act, and includes:

• the spouse or civil partner of the deceased
• the former spouse or civil partner of the deceased (as long as that person has not remarried/entered into a subsequent civil partnership)
• a person who, for the two years prior to the death, was living with the deceased as if they were a spouse or civil partner
• a child of the deceased
• a person who was treated as a child of the family by the deceased
• any other person who was being maintained, wholly or partly, by the deceased immediately prior to their death."

Going to court would be expensive but a claim can be settled out of court by the beneficiaries agreeing a lump sum payment.

If she isn't willing to stop being used by him, check out the above and get a property alert on the property (as he is the sole owner, he could raise a loan on it, sell it, give it away to his cousin, etc).  The alert won't stop it but your cousin will at least have some warning about any action on the property.

Spendless

If I were your cousin, I'd be opening a savings account and putting my wages in there to build up enough of a nest egg for as and when she needs to find somewhere of her own. 

 Has she also considered if he had to go into a care home. I don't think she'd be taken into consideration in that scenario either. 

lika_86

There is no such thing as a common law spouse. 

Personally I'd focus less on getting him to ensure she's provided for in his will and instead focus on seeing what your cousin would be entitled to if she weren't with him.

lincroft1710

If she is buying the food and contributes £200 pcm to the household bills, is she a dependant?

MattMattMattUK

lincroft1710 said:

If she is buying the food and contributes £200 pcm to the household bills, is she a dependant?

No, dependants are children.

lincroft1710

MattMattMattUK said:

lincroft1710 said:

If she is buying the food and contributes £200 pcm to the household bills, is she a dependant?

No, dependants are children.

What about adult dependants?

elsien

Other than a cheap roof over her head, she must be getting something from the relationship to still be there.

Why are the family pressuring them to get married if he’s such a waste of space?

 Surely in those circumstances you’d be supporting her to leave rather than committing herself even more, given that you appear to not see anything good in him at all. 
It is her choice, but if he’s so awful shouldn’t marriage be the last thing in the radar, not the first? Because otherwise the message you are giving is that it’s ok to put up with any amount of excrement as long as you get the house at the end of it. Not a way I’d want someone I cared about to live. 

Brie

If she is paying him £200 a month does that mean she has acquired some stake in the property?  Or is it considered rent which means she is a tenant?  

Personally I think she should walk away because the guy is obviously not worthy of her attention but that is a very scary thing for someone to do - especially after so much time.