Common-law Spouse of 8 Years Would Not Update His Will: What are the Consequences?

Keep_pedalling

Brie said:

If she is paying him £200 a month does that mean she has acquired some stake in the property?  Or is it considered rent which means she is a tenant?  

Personally I think she should walk away because the guy is obviously not worthy of her attention but that is a very scary thing for someone to do - especially after so much time.

She is not a tenant, and if she has contributed more than 50% of household expenses then yes she may well have a financial interest in his house.

gettingtheresometime

It sounds as if there's no love in the relationship and so it sounds as if both parties have decided that the status quo is giving them each different things, certainly for the time being..... him company & care & your cousin a roof over her head (though admittedly for the time being).

It sounds as if he's never going to change so I'd focus on increasing your cousin's self confidence ...hopefully by doing that she'll force the issue herself by leaving him

MattMattMattUK

lincroft1710 said:

MattMattMattUK said:

lincroft1710 said:

If she is buying the food and contributes £200 pcm to the household bills, is she a dependant?

No, dependants are children.

What about adult dependants?

My understanding and I will happily be corrected is in terms of eligibility for support/help no adult is deemed a dependent for financial purposes as far as the law is concerned. 

Savvy_Sue

MattMattMattUK said:

lincroft1710 said:

MattMattMattUK said:

lincroft1710 said:

If she is buying the food and contributes £200 pcm to the household bills, is she a dependant?

No, dependants are children.

What about adult dependants?

My understanding and I will happily be corrected is in terms of eligibility for support/help no adult is deemed a dependent for financial purposes as far as the law is concerned. 

I think you are wrong there. A long time ago DH was claiming benefits, and I was working. But I was able to get free dental care as his dependent. 

There is also definitely a recognised situation where a will does not make adequate provision for someone who was financially dependent on another person. Whether the OP's cousin would qualify is unclear. 

However, one thing I noticed: in the first post, it says 

Lord_Frugal12 said:

He has an old will when he bought the property. This version leaves everything to his sibling. But, for many months, instead of marrying my cousin, this guy has been saying he would update his Will. In in, he plans to leave his property to his sibling and his wife. The property is currently valued at £400,000. What does this guy plan to leave my cousin? "My bank account." 

So is there a wife? And is he divorced, or not? 

I think I would be working to support the cousin in getting out of this situation before he dies. She's in a terrifying situation, but it's not going to get any less terrifying the longer she stays. But she has to choose ... 

Mojisola

Savvy_Sue said:

However, one thing I noticed: in the first post, it says 

Lord_Frugal12 said:

He has an old will when he bought the property. This version leaves everything to his sibling. But, for many months, instead of marrying my cousin, this guy has been saying he would update his Will. In in, he plans to leave his property to his sibling and his wife. The property is currently valued at £400,000. What does this guy plan to leave my cousin? "My bank account." 

So is there a wife? And is he divorced, or not?

I read that as his sibling and the wife of his sibling.

sheramber

the family are concerned about her future but is she? 

Are the family  trying to help her move out, find her a place to live or provide e with accommodation until she get  plqce of her own. She lived on her own before so knows she can do so.

What made her give everything up to move in with him?

Helping her to make  a new life for herself  would be  better solution thant getting married to this man.

But you can only help someone who wants to be helped.

MalMonroe

Hi, exactly as Sheramber says, above, you can only help those who want help.

Nobody else can live another person's life. From the way you tell the problem, your family is not small and you are a caring bunch of people. Is it not possible for someone from your family to offer your vulnerable cousin a place to stay for a while? And maybe help her get on her feet as a single woman again?  If she wants that, of course. She's a relatively young woman but the way your post reads it's as if she's waiting to benefit from her partner's will, as if they were both about 90. 

You say "She feels sorry for him. Without  my cousin, he would not survive two days. He can't be without her for more than five hours. He has to be with her as much as possible. He is one of those men who is incapable of being on his own." 

That's not a relationship. Feeling sorry for someone is not love and it isn't a reason to stay with them. I bet you five bob that not only would he survive two days, he'd probably survive two or three - or even four - decades. He CAN be without her for more than five hours because he's an adult, grown up man. And he is capable of being on his own. If your cousin goes (and I truly hope she does) then he will be more than capable, believe me. If he cannot manage on his own then he will have to seek help from social services like many other people who don't have a live-in carer. His sibling (and whoever's wife it is) can help him. After all, they're the ones who are going to strike it lucky when he dies, so it's the least they can do.

From what you say he is a very controlling person who thinks only of himself and I agree that your cousin needs to escape. Please help her. Don't just sit there worrying for a few more years, do something positive. He may well outlive all of you. Stranger things have happened.

If she really doesn't want to leave, then sadly there's absolutely nothing you can do, short of kidnapping her.  But if someone in your family could offer her an escape route, she may just decide to take it.

I wish your cousin all the best for the future.  

Savvy_Sue

I don't know if this would help, but I've just watched Martin's programme on the three Ds (Death, Divorce, Dementia) from a few weeks ago. Series 12, Episode 14. https://www.itv.com/watch/the-martin-lewis-money-show-live/2a1827/2a1827a0141

I'd recommend that your cousin watch it, and see if her 'partner' will do so too. 

Lord_Frugal12

Hello again! 

I was the one who asked for your advice and information about a really sad family issue that has been causing many of us a lot of stress. I posted it  on Easter Sunday  9th April. And, now, four days later, I just came to read every single one of your contributions. I  am  touched by your empathy and care. I sincerely thank every single person who took the time to  write your thoughts about my cousin's really despairing life. Most countries do not have a Martin Lewis. Most countries do not have a forum such as this one. I had lived abroad until last week. And as someone who has travelled and lived in other countries, when I come across as  forums such as this one, I am reminded of how Britain really is great, despite all the problems we like to moan about.  I really missed Britain. And it is good to be back. 

Thank you. Now, I shall try and write an individual response because that has to be my way of showing my appreciation. 

(And thank you Martin Lewis. Every country should have someone like you).    

Lord_Frugal12

Keep_pedalling said:

He does not have a wife so your cousin gets nothing if he dies with the current will or with no will. 

Even if he made a will making her a beneficiary or giving her a life interest in the property his estate would be subject to inheritance tax because there is no spousal exemption available. Maybe tackling it from a IHT avoidance angle might get him to pull his finger out.

Thank you for this information.