Simplifying Life

ceridwen

mary

If your dad knew you would feel happier/"lighter" getting rid of stuff hes "had for years" - then that is what he would want you to do. You have learnt what you have learnt about caring from someone somewhere along the line - and I will venture to say it was your father. Then that being the case - he would want you to do what "serves you best".

...and for everyone - I have just found (so will be going back for a detailed read):

http://simplicityfirst.wordpress.com/

Rowan9

Saved the blog ceridwen and will have a look with a cup of tea

I should have said before that, although I am having a massive clear out of stuff - a lot of it 'sentimental' items from childhood, my parents and my granny (who lived with us)- and am feeling so much clearer about who I am and what I actually need, as well as the colours I like around me and the style of everything - but this is working for me, at this time, and I don't mean to sound as if it will work for everyone. My parents died in 1994 and 1995, so I have taken the time I needed in order to let go of the final things which aren't my style and have kept just a few things as memories. Even those memories, I can see now, don't have to be linked to an item. I did clear out a lot when I moved into this house 10 years ago, and another clear out maybe 5 or 6 years ago but this seems an important one now as it is helping me find myself.
Re people's reactions - my in-laws came for a weekend a few weeks ago (very hard work) and my MiL asked where all my blue Regency china was which used to be displayed on the dresser. She knew it was my granny's (died a long, long time ago) - my granny came to live with us when I was small and took with her the china set she used- anyway, I said I took it all to an antique shop a few years ago and we bought a white set of using crockery from Asda. She hadn't noticed before I suppose. Anyway, I got what would be described as a frosty stare. I don't know if she was thinking it was a callous thing to do in her mind but for me it was liberating. I spent the money from it wisely and my granny would have been delighted to see me free of something that was no longer my type of thing. It doesn't mean I love her less for it! I wouldn't have imagined that I could sell it several years ago but felt able to when I did, and have now moved on to passing on or selling some more things from the past.

Long post, but just to say - do this when you feel able to.

Hope everyone has a good day today
w

Rowan9

ceridwen wrote: »

mary

If your dad knew you would feel happier/"lighter" getting rid of stuff hes "had for years" - then that is what he would want you to do. You have learnt what you have learnt about caring from someone somewhere along the line - and I will venture to say it was your father. Then that being the case - he would want you to do what "serves you best".

...and for everyone - I have just found (so will be going back for a detailed read):

http://simplicityfirst.wordpress.com/

Ha! The post on this blog (31st Jan) deals with the writer's feelings about keeping / letting go of sentimental items which belonged to her mother.
Well done for finding this ceridwen - it really is a gem and is one that i will keep as a link!
w

mary43

ceridwen - thanks for the link. I'll read it in more depth later.
You're right about my Dad I'm sure. He gave me a box of Melody Maker papers all dated around the 30's while he was still alive. Mum said they were rubbish but Dad couldnt part with them.........music was his passion. So, he gave them to me saying he knew I'd take care of them for him while he was alive but after he'd gone I could do as I wished. So yes, he would want me to do exactly what I'm doing. Keeping the really personal stuff that means something, passing some to one son who wants them, have asked the other son and he doesn't want any of them.
So, I ventured into the local music shop this morning and a chap is coming up in the morning to have a look. They won't be worth much but if I got nothing it wouldn't matter ..........least I know that they''ll go to someone who has an interest in them and will do the 'caring' of them. There's quite a few hard back books about learning to play the drums, arranging symbols to get the right sound etc. All interesting stuff but I'd rather the suitcase was given some space for other things that were precious to Dad.

Read the Jan 31st post on the blog and it made real sense. Dad died 8 years ago..........all that time I've cherished and cared for these things and the time comes when I have to pass them on..................I feel the times right now. I know I said I was going to do this a few weeks back and its taken a bit of soul searching and careful thought but I feel more positive about it now.

And when I think about it, Dad used to sell a lot of bits himself when he was alive.............he sold his saxophone and clarinet, xylophone and his drum set with the exception of a snare drum in need of repair and just about the smallest symbol you can get ! I've got them and I think they'll be with me a while longer.

mary43

Managed to sort out Dads stuff at last.............hard going but after checking with my son I've one lot put aside for him and another lot for the music man to have a look at. Just hope he takes them away tomorrow.
I spent ages looking through them and I'm glad I did..........found a newspaper cutting about my Dads little band in 1953 who played at a dance to raise money for a childrens party. No piccys (Ive got enough of those though........lol) and a picture of the local co-op firemen on the same page. Thats a must to be sent off to the history site.
Bit by bit I'm getting there............just left now with Dads manuscripts all nicely handwritten and the banner he had on the front of his drums.
Just need the man to come now and give me a quote for roof repairs..........was going to be last Thursday...........rang last night.......definitely be this evening and no sign yet !!!!!! Makes me want to swear.................on top of that I was on the phone to my son and the cat threw up......................managed to stop it depositing all over the rug in the kitchen .............she headed off for the 'indoor building site' that used to be junk room/store room and left her mark there, well and truly before trotting off outside !! And OH had just gone down the pub to watch Liverpool playing footbal !! Whay do these things happen when its just me here ???
Oh well, tomorrow is another day..........my friends birthday, meeting her for lunch then back to wrap up the music parcel for my son. He'll love it !!

mary43

Here I am again...............3 in a row !!
But just had to let you know I've got rid of Dads music stuff ! Chap came from the music shop and took a few pieces, gave me the phone number of another chap who wants old 78 records. He came this afternoon and not only took the 78's but also the rest of the music ! Both chaps (particularly the one this afternoon) were so passionate about music and the history and drum catalogues...........stuff you don't see around anymore.............I just know Dad would have been pleased they went to a good home. Didn't get vast sums of cash for themm but a few quid from the second chappie which will pay ex foster lad when he comes to sort the garden out tomorrow (hopefully).
Of course, just my luck, I'm left with the sheet music I had when I played the piano (more years ago than I care to remember, along with some examination papers from Trinity College of Music...........can't work it out.......my name is on them but I'd have only been 6 at the time ! Did I really start playing that young ? Knowing Dad, I probably did..................lol
Other stuff like instruction books on how to play the organ/harmonium, plus some wrestling magazines from 1962-3 are now on freecycle site. So, I'm not totally free but at least Dads stuff is gone. Getting rid of mine isn't such a heavy task and I'm amazed at how much better I feel. Been a hard three days reading through it and actually deciding and making relevant phone calls and I was on tenderhooks this morning...........what if no-one wanted it and I was stuck with it ????? But the sun was shining on me and all went well.

(I did find an old magazine.........'Home Companion' with some music in for the royal family, dated 1953 and some of the articles and adverts are fun to read. Its in really good condition so I might well keep that in a history folder.)

Rowan9

Well done Mary!! I'm sure you'll be so pleased that you found such an enthusiastic home for the music.

I'm putting in a quote from that fantastic ebook recommended a few pages back - 'How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World'

This one is from Henry David Thoreau:
'If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.'

Hope everyone is having a peaceful evening
w

mary43

wmf - love the quote...........one I just have to keep as it mentions a 'drummer'................how apt is that ???
Well, I've put the rest of the stuff of don'tdumpthat site and sit back and wait. If nothing happens I'll try freecycle, leave it for a week then it'll head for the wheelie bin. Reluctant to do that but there really is nothing left that is personal to me or that I want to hold on to. Till then I feel a bit 'cluttered up' with it all. Seems just as soon as I make a space its filled with stuff thats on its way out (hopefully!) !!
Lady coming this afternoon to collect wine making stuff, wine bottles and plant pots so a bit more stuff out of way.

Promised myself I'd start on our bedroom this week but sorting dads music sort of got in the way. Was stressful though I feel better for it but I've decided to have a 'me' day today............having said that I've asked ex foster lad to call up and start taking the rest of the plaster off the walls in out building site of a junk/store room now we've got some builders sacks to put it all in..............not looking forward to that. Plaster dust gets everywhere -still, good excuse not to bother flicking duster about till its done.................lol

ceridwen

Just been off on a sidetrial from Rhonda Jean's blog and found:

http://www.aussieslivingsimply.com.au/news.php

mary43

Thanks for the link ceridwen - I'll have a look at that later.

Well what a day ! Phone call this morning to say one of our lads is to go back to hiis family today !! I'm pleased he's going back obviously, and that was the plan but it had been timed perfectly for the beginningof June..........not at such short notice. And seems no-one else was aware of it, not his family, nor school. His family collected his things at lunchtime -gave no time for either OH or our other lad to say 'goodbye' or anything like that and we normally get a little something for kids when they leave as a sort of 'cheerio good luck' pressie.........no time for that either ! Mad !!! To true I was !!:eek: Had all his stuff to pack up ready for collection and I'd had my whole day so well planned.
Still, on the plus side the lady from dontdumpthat site came and collected wine making stuff, plant pots and wine bottles and ex foster lad worked well in the garden. Did him good and helped us out as well. So, the whole day started out ok and is ending ok............we hope anyway.
Message from Big Bruv to say he is still going back to Spain on Sunday as arranged and that Mum is 'wandering'................I'll have to check tomorrow to see how she is and let her friends know what to expect on Monday when they visit.
Then it will be decorating time in the room thats now empty.........always needs a coat of paint when kids have left. Maybe ex foster lad could do that for us too. And at last we've located a builder..........well we hope.........who has promised to come up on Monday and give a quote for the roof and also to do some plastering where the wall fell down in the 'building site area'.............ex foster lad can take down the existing plaster...........builder (if his quotes ok) can re-plaster then hopefully.............after many many years we can have a room that's actually a room........not a building site,junk room or anything like.