Simplifying Life

mary43

Yippee !!! (least I hope so ..........) Lady on dontdumpthat site wants some wine making equipment and we've a load in our garage............same lady who wants the wine bottles and plant pots so hopefully we'll have yet more space out there.............might even be able to get inside the door...........lol
Im that thrilled that some more 'unwanted' stuff is going and it'll do someone a good turn in the process.:j :j

vivw_2

Thats great Mary. You will get some space back

Still waiting to see if anyone wants some of my bowls etc.,

Rowan9

congratulations do it today!! So pleased for you
w

mary43

Hello all !

Well, well, what a surprise ! Our lad came in yesterday evening and decided to clear up his 'pit' (the best way to describe it really would be to say pit backwards !)...........now it actually looks like a bedroom, rubbish all bagged up ready to go, clothes sorted out (some for charity shop, some bit beyond that). Has he been watching me fiddling about clearing out drawers and stuff I wonder or is it because the suns shining and he's got a 'spring feeling' ?
Course it could be because we have a meeting tomorrow to discuss his future -post18 -.............ss dept.are wanting to do a pilot scheme where post 18 kids can stay with their carers and I've put his name up for it...........maybe he fears his soc.worker will inspect his room ?Whatever the reason, he's done a good job..............even hoovered !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek: Shocked I was to say the least !!!!!!
Now I feel pangs of guilt for having a lazy day yesterday so today,my desk will be sorted out...............started yesterday but got distracted

So, despite feeling somewhat shattered having lost an hours sleep and leaping out of bed for a boot fair that was cancelled due to the ground being too wet I shall make a start..............at the moment judging by all the papers etc. on their it will be a long job but I've thought that before and once I get stuck in it doesn't take that long at all. It's the getting started thats the hard work...................lol

ceridwen

...and if you find a way to incentivise yourself into dealing with paperwork mary..let me know...my pile is increasing steadily:rolleyes:

Just allowing myself a little browse then its on to an ironing pile that has accummulated (beginning to feel like the only O.S.'er that irons - but have had jumpers hanging up from wardrobe door handles for days now hoping the creases might just fall out - doesnt work - darn it).

Trying not to feel too self-critical - as the loft, understairs cupboard, dining room storage and sitting room storage are now all uncluttered - so I am getting there..

My mother is still complaining how cluttered my house is though.....thinks.....have pointed out before now that if my house was the same size as theirs it would look a lot less cluttered with the same amount of belongings as I have now....dont think I convinced her LOL.

mary43

ceridwen - I'll let you know as soon as I find a way myself..........lol
Well I've ploughed through mine and there's still a pile there..........most of it got filed away but the rest need phone calls or queries of some sort before they can go any further either by written reply (once I've got the answer) or filed away when they're dealt with. Now I wish I'd done it on Friday when the offices were open !!!
So,desk is still full of papers but in a neat pile and on top is a list of 'stuff' to do with them..........mostly phoning ............then they can be filed away.
Ironing ?????? Haven't ironed anything for years..............lol Secret is to very carefully hang jumpers etc. over airer or washing line,when dry, very carefully fold or put on a hanger........well, works for me anyway..........plus always make a point where possible of buying stuff that I know won't need an iron anywhere near it...................:j

Our bedroom will be next on the list I think. Looking in the wash basket all but briefly this morning I saw stuff lurking at the bottom that I don't really want.Why I didn't out it there and then I don't know...........using the excuse of still feeling bit 'boggle eyed' due to clock change............lol

OH has ventured outside into the sunshine to sort out stuff for recycling in a bid to make some sort of space in our much crowded garage.........would be nice when summer arrives to actually be able to find the sunshade that fits on the table................its in there somewhere..............lol

Can't face tackling out bedroom today..........think I need a full day at it and don't have one of those till around Wednesday...and I know what I'm like.......if I do a bit now thats how it'll stay,plus I need to pin OH down to actually getting rid of the endless pairs of jeans he has along with numerous jumpers with holes in the elbows.

So,my little chore now will be to write jolly letter to youngest son to send off with his birthday card. Chore ??? What am I saying...........that's pleasure............lol

do_it_today!

Hi all:hello:
no simplifying today just out in the sun at my allotment, I must make a start on the areas where the sun doesnt shine ie cabinets and drawers

Steel_2

Steel wrote: »

I've just taken stock of my life and my attempts to simplify it over the last few years to find that I've made it more complicated.

I went freelance in the belief that I could free up my time and do more things that were enjoyable. This didn't happen.

Three months after I left work we bought a run down house to do up and for the last three years we've just scraped by. The constant stress and worry about watching every penny and looking for ways to get more in has made me ill. I go from working 80 hour weeks to not having any work at all and I'm so very tired and run down.

So as of the New Year, I'm simplifying my life in the following way:

• Going back to work part-time. I can hopefully still work from home but will be taking a wage every month to ensure the mortgage and bills are covered. Anything extra I make on thre side goes on debt payments.
• Giving up gardening. I used to love growing my own fruit and veg but it has simply become a huge source of stress for me. The garden was a building site when we came here so what we do grow is not fantastic and it will take many years of rubble clearing and soil nurturing before it will be. So for the next year I'm not setting foot in the garden. Instead I'll be getting in fruit and vegetables from a box scheme.
• Dumping negative people, even if they are relatives. I'm tired of being a pawn in my parents marriage which has been failing for the last 20 years.
• Splitting my evenings and weekends equally between hobbies and doing up the house so I can enjoy a few periods of relaxation.
• Not giving into guilt when people try and push me to do something that benefits them and not me. I'm going to practice the art of being selfish.

Just thought I'd come back and update people on how I'm doing simplifying my life.

I managed to find a freelance contract with a great company - although I'm not employed yet, the work is very regular. I've just received my first decent monthly cheque from them of £1700 and also about to submit an invoice for £2,200. For the first time in three years I'm finally bringing in some decent money and my stress levels have receeded enormously. I didn't realise how ill it was making me living hand to mouth with no end in sight because I never knew what I would be earning the next month.

I tried to give up the garden and have succeeded to a certain extent. By this time of year I'm normally up to my eyes with stuff bursting out of the greenhouse and running in there twice a day to water and fiddle with windows. This year, nothing and it's great. However, I can't bring myself to give it up completely. I've planted a rosa rugosa hedge a couple of weeks ago so the rosehips will feed the birds in the winter and give me some rosehip jelly in the autumn, and I intend to have a pot of runner beans and tomatoes by the back door.

Still trying to dump toxic people and the problem with my parents is escalating. They each ring me when the other's out to !!!!! about the other and recently every time I've seen them together they have picked at each other non-stop and 'told tales' like children. "You said that Steel doesn't come round often enough" "You said that Steel's house was messy last time you went round" "You said that you thought Steel should have married a solicitor or a doctor and not a mere postman" To a certain extent I can hide behind this new freelance contract because I have to go into the client's office for part of the week so they can't get hold of me. The rest of the time I don't answer the phone and listen to them leave miserable, whinging messages on my answerphone.

I'm now doing lots of lovely crafty things in my freetime, not so much housey things and generally having a great two days off at the weekend.

Read a great book How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by a guy called Harry Browne and am starting to understand all the different things that trap me into feeling guilty and not doing what I want, only what others want. If you're interested in reading it do a search on Scribd.com for "Unfree World" and it will bring up a free ebook. I'm working through it right now and it's brilliant.

So there you go, life becoming a little simpler every day

ceridwen

Thanks for that Steel.

Pleased to hear you are making progress. Indeed - I found that I didnt see exactly how much money worries were "eating away at me" until things started easing up a bit. I got very fed-up myself with constant financial juggling/trying to find ways to earn extra money. It was made (much) harder by knowing that it wasnt my choice/fault - as I'd been doing a full-time job all along and not going mad on consumer spending (I just plain didnt/dont earn enough). It does help when things start easing on that front - stop all the constant "robbing Peter to pay Paul" and constant awareness that it will be a problem if unexpected expenses come up. So - I can see exactly where you are coming from on that one.

I certainly get resentful when mindspace is occupied with money worries that is required for other - more important - things. Theres been a lot of reminding myself over the years of Maslow's (?) Hierarchy of Needs - ie food and shelter first, then the more important stuff - 'cos you just plain cant manage without the food and shelter.

Re your garden - it is problematic finding time for what you really want to do when a living has to be earnt - I guess its just a question of thinking "I'm not really someone who picks up an interest and then doesnt pursue it - I HAVE that interest and must hold onto remembering that I do - but I'm human and cant manage to fit it in until having to have a job isnt monopolising so much time". It is frustrating.

I personally find it very frustrating to have to go into work 5 days a week and achieve/enjoy precisely nothing - whilst I have all these things lined up that I want the time/energy to do. What was that article I read the other day that only 1 in 7 of us are "engaged" in our work (nothing personal at least then:D - its just a means to an end with most other people too). I have to do a lot of reminding myself that 100 years ago many people had literally no time and energy whatsoever for their own lives - as workweeks then were so long that there was no time at all left for themselves after a days work (indeed not even enough time to get in their 8 hours sleep per night by the sound of it). How some of our Victorian forebears managed to educate themselves in leisure time I dont know - must have required HUGE feats of ingenuity/exercise of willpower.

Thanks for that bit about the e-book. I didnt know that site existed - I shall have a read of that book and a little wander around that site to see what else there is. Ta!:T

Rowan9

Nice to see you again Steel and get your update. Toxic people and situations are incredibly draining of energy and it is a good positive step to eliminate as much contact as possible and to set up 'managing strategies' for other times. I also answer the phone when I choose to. Just because we have phones does not mean we have to answer them! I think you are doing well with your parents as that can be tricky. Can you visualise a bubble or blanket or something around you when they talk about each other to you? You are still effectively there but anything you do not want to hear cannot penetrate your protective layer - some people find visualising a thin delicate shawl separating you as then you can allow what you want to travel through it. Hope this makes sense!
Some more stuff went to the dump yesterday from the loft so I feel very happy about that. I plan to sort out some old paper work later today - a lot needs shredded. Toxic stuff which needs out of my house!
I have been reading my way through the Sharon Salzberg book and have bookmarked a few pages. I think that rather than buy it, I will copy out those passages. This way, what really speaks to me will be written out by me(by copying out, our brains take in more of the info - I remember this from studying and revising!) in a special notebook which I have, and i will not acquire another book.
Oh - last thing - I threw out my old Monopoly set i got when I was 8. If it was so special, why was it in the loft untouched for years and years and now smelling a bit old? I feel so free by not 'having' to keep things. I know that this doesn't suit everyone but if there is anyone out there who wonders if they really could release some of their 'stuff' which is causing them to feel swamped and all cluttered up, then I say go for it. try it with something smallish to begin with and see how you feel. I have been trapped by the emotional baggage of feeling I have to hold on to precious memories of deceased parents, presents from other people etc etc etc. I am free!! I really can choose to have things in the house which I love. It's ok to let things go to other people. It doesn't mean you loved your parents less because you don't share their taste in tea sets
Hope you have a lovely day
w