Simplifying Life

mary43

Thanks doittoday, viv and ceridwen for your kind thoughts.
Emotions run from panic.......grief, relief, anger with Mum for making me feel this way and guilt for feeling angry...........no win situation.
It's really helpful to have the support and understanding of you folks. I'd say you''ve no idea what it means to me but I know that you do..........bless you

Aril

Hello virtual friends:j
Mary- I was sorry to hear the news about your Mum. My FIL had a minor stroke last month and that type of thing shakes everybody up doesn't it. I hope things remain a little more settled for you.
Apologies for my absence this week...my boss is away and so I've been holding the fort along with my fellow colleague who has also become a very dear friend. She is a fellow pagan and we celebrate the major festivals together. She is another person I respect greatly. She is the lynch pin of her family and everyone leans on her...sadly her father is deteriorating fast and yesterday she broke down. I never know quite what to do under those circumstances [British reserve and all that] but it's so rare for her to let on. All I could do was to give her a hug and along these lines it reminded me just how important those relationships that we forge with those around us are. I leave you with the ever wise Maya Angelou:
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a pat on the back."
Aril

Rowan9

Good morning everyone!Hope everyone is well today, and that you have had a good sleep Mary.
Last night I vowed I would get up at 6 - I woke at 6am all by myself!! Then I turned over and tried to get back to sleep until 20 to 7 when I remembered that I had wanted to get up early. I got up and spent time on my own reading 'A Heart as Wide as the World', sub-titled 'Stories on the Path to LovingKindness', by Sharon Salzberg and also did some meditation. I felt very peaceful and at one with the world afterwards and it really has made me consider why I don't do this as a routine. So, that is my plan - to get up earlier than everyone else in order to have a quiet time reading something uplifting and inspiring, or meditating. S Salzberg writes one mini-chapter on pain and states that we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by kind of 'dumping' future imagined pain on top of that which we are experiencing at that precise moment. The result is that it is just too much. She focuses very much on the moment. It is hard to keep bringing our minds back to the present moment but it is something I'm striving to do. I also understand that other thoughts come jumping in but not to get annoyed and just let them pass, then get back to focusing on the here and now. I find it helps to focus on 'here' on the in breath and 'now' on the out breath. Focusing on one word at a time helps to bring the mind back from straying off along the 'what if, what if' path. We really don't know what if, so why torment ourselves with wondering and worrying?
I am off to the tip again today with another boot full of stuff which I once thought was so vital! This is tip stuff, not even fit for a charity shop! I am seeing my trips to the tip (one yesterday) as me dumping old thought patterns and ways of thinking. -whooosh and it's in the big dumper truck thing and not mine any longer - hurrah!
I'm also beginning to sell my son's unwanted PS2 games as a way of clearing out some more stuff. He won't get round to it, is based in Glasgow now and these games are at home. So, they are off to new homes and it is clearing out more stuff which is no longer loved!
w

groatie_queen

Thank you wmf, for such a beautiful post. I too was awake early and here are some of the words I read:

"There is also a fourth preparation, and it is the simplification of life to bring inner and outer well-being - psychological and material well-being - into harmony in your life. This was made very easy for me. Just after I dedicated my life to service, I felt that I could no longer accept more than I needed while others in the world have less than they need. This moved me to bring my life down to need-level. I thought it would be difficult. I thought it would entail a great many hardships, but I was quite wrong. Now that I own only what I wear and what I carry in my pockets, I don't feel deprived of anything. For me, what I want and what I need are exactly the same, and you couldn't give me anything I don't need.

I discovered this great truth: unnecessary possessions are just unnecessary burdens. Now I don't mean that all our needs are the same. Yours may be much greater than mine. For instance, if you have a family, you would need the stability of a family center for your children. But I do mean that anything beyond need - and need sometimes includes things beyond the physical needs, too - anything beyond need tends to become burdensome.
There is a great freedom in simplicity of living, and after I began to feel this, I found a harmony in my life between inner and outer well-being. Now there's a great deal to be said about such harmony, not only for an individual life but also for the life of a society."

Peace Pilgrim: http://www.peacepilgrim.com

The quote is from her booklet, 'Steps to Inner Peace'.

I don't intend to get down to just what is in my pockets! But I find her wisdom inspirational and frequently go back to it.

Wishing us all inner peace

GQ xxx

mary43

Hello all

Well, Big Bruv has been to see my Mum this morning and says she was quite bright. Someone or something is watching over her and giving her a lot of resiliance. I slept a lot better last night and had spent early evening making a card for ex foster girls birthday this weekend.........she's very special to me and thinking of her put life into perspective in a strange sort of way.

Aril -Sorry to hear about your friend..........does tend to be a British thing to hold back in situations where someone is upset and you did the best thing.......gave her a hug. Interesting programme on the TV the other night about reflexology........and it just showed how touching someone in any way can give them the 'feel good factor' and maybe its something we should do more. I've always been a 'touchy feely' person - hugs for all -not just when they're upset......hugs are also a greeting and a farewell. My family are all quite the opposite so why I turned out like 'me' I've no idea............thankfully my kids are also very affectionate in this way.

wmf - what a lovely way to start the morning (not sure about the time though.........lol) I do like to get up before anyone else,sit and have a coffee with the radio quietly on while I contemplate the world and pause for thought about my own life.

groatie queen - those seem like such wise words but not sure I could feel comfortable living only with what I 'need'.............I do love to have things around me that prompt a memory or little tale from my life, the person who gave me something etc. It gives me a feeling of warmth.........so maybe that is my 'need'.

Rowan9

Glad your mum is doing fine, Mary.
Groatie - I love Peace Pilgrim site! Her diary on there is so inspirational. I think she got down to just about a comb in her pocket didn't she? Wise woman and so socially aware of all those who are deprived.
w

Charis

I went into town earlier than usual today to pop the car in for its MOT and annual service. It was raining. I had to walk a mile anyway, so I did a detour and I also picked up some china from a pile at a local charity shop. The elderly volunteer was chatting to me. 'Lovely day to come out' I said, grimacing towards the rain soaked window. 'Every day is a lovely day' she said, and really meant it, despite the fact her hands are so crippled with arthritis she can no longer operate the till. She is in her eighties so every day for her is a bonus. It made me realise how lucky I am. It's amazing how one little remark can bring a ray of sunshine into a grey day.

mary43

charis - how very true that is and we'd be well advised to remember it when the weather isn't as we'd like it to be, or life come to that.

Well, what an afternoon trying to explain to 17 year old (really going on 15 but who thinks he knows all ) how to try and plan for the future...........i.e. driving lessons, earning money by getting full time job,budgeting etc.
He goes on to say he's been offered a car -for free! - just need new gear box and heaven knows what else but of course 'he who knows all' can do that; Insurance ??? No problem............'he who knows all' says its affordable.......he knows because his ex girlfriend paid £400 and she was insured through her Mum..........and anyway, he'll be getting a van when he's finished playing mechanic on the car and then his 'boss' (chap who turned him off building site as he had 'attitude' problems !) would give him more work,and anyway he was considering trying to join the army !!!!! Though he might be living with a girl who is a sort of girlfriend with three children and yes, he loves kids and no she wouldn't lose her single mums benefit because he wouldn't let on that he lived with her, etc. etc. What was the name of this girl ? Or the chap who was giving him the car ? Ummm........seems we're not supposed to know...............or are they real ????
By the time he'd finished re-planning his future in so many different ways my head was spinning !!

OH kept out of the way...........poor lad lives in a bit of a dream world and to try and point out the realities of life is so similar to knocking my head against the kitchen wall !! Oh dear................one day might he listen ? I do hope so for his sake.

Whole afternoon seems to have disappeared with not much to show for it. Ho hum .....................such is life in its less 'simplified' moments.
Time now for a sit down, catch up with OH's gossip and unwind...............:j counting my blessings as I do so.........

ceridwen

...and some very inspirational comments on the thread today.

I was thinking to myself today mary about how well your mother has been progressing....and thinking to myself "could be maybe partly down to the good wishes/vibes coming in your direction from members of this thread"...who knows? But I have certainly experienced personally before now that "there are more things in heaven and earth" than we know of.

When it comes to alternative therapies - darn it, I did mean to watch that programme on reflexology. I dont quite know what I think about that particular complementary therapy (the jury is still out in my mind) - but I do know there is a lot in the "power of touch". There is a lot in that and I do believe a bit of affection does a power of good. I had to be "educated" into the value of it as an adult - though I remember cuddling up to my father frequently as a child (though I was only thinking to myself today that apparently when I was a baby - he used to come into my room very quietly whilst I was sleeping in order not to disturb me and just standing gazing at me - ahhhhhh!!). But affection does do a power of good to people - most of us crave a bit of human touch sometimes - even if its just a pat on the shoulder to show sympathy. People get used to it after a while - I've only put an arm round 2 work colleagues today! LOL - but I'm with Mary. I think we need it. I'm "human" - the ceridwen celtic temper - but I like to think we can balance our "off" moments when we maybe should have bitten our tongue and counted to 10 (or 100!) with a bit of affection when its needed.

ceridwen

you might like this one mary....

http://thinkexist.com/quotations/affection/