How can I find out details of someone’s death?

Savvy_Sue

Silvertabby said:

If the funeral hasn't taken place yet, then you may get  more information from a florist as they are less likely to be bound by data protection .  Google florists in your m-in-laws home town, then ring them to ask if they are doing the flowers for the funeral of Mrs X and, if yes, they should give the date and place.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that: florists are every bit as bound by data protection as the rest of us. 

They MIGHT give the date and place, but I'm not sure they should. I'm not even sure they should confirm that they are doing the flowers for Mrs X: not saying they won't. 

The date and time of a service are a matter of public record, but to me that just means that the crematorium / cemetery will have a list of services taking place, with dates and times, and that information may be available if you ask THEM. 

Spendless

I'm prepared to be told I'm wrong but AFAIK you can't be 'banned' from a funeral service. It might be requested that you don't attend (no such thing as inviting people either - you just make people aware) you can choose to take no notice. It's possible you might be asked to leave by someone, you may choose to do so in order not to cause a scene but if you refuse and the other person isn't going to get into a row  about it then I don't think there's a lot that  they can do about anyone being there, unless of course there is any legal restriction on you not being too near one of the people attending.


Is it possible the details will appear in the local newspaper? We didn't bother doing this with my Nan's recent death because so many of her friends and family  had already passed and the rest we knew how to contact anyway.  

Spendless

Just re-read, you've put your MIL's partner rather than husband. If they weren't married and your husband is NOK along with any sibling/s then *perhaps*  (I don't actually know) he has a more of a legal right to request any details relating to her death.

On re-reading your first post, I notice you've put that 'family members - all feel the same way' the same way about what? That your husband should be banned from attending his mum's funeral or that they'd also like to know how his Mum has died? I'm guessing she was relatively young and in good health as far as you're aware in which case have you tried googling her name and the area where she lived to see if there's any media reports of an accident (eg a RTA) which might shed some light.  

unforeseen

Spendless said:

I'm prepared to be told I'm wrong but AFAIK you can't be 'banned' from a funeral service. It might be requested that you don't attend (no such thing as inviting people either - you just make people aware) you can choose to take no notice. It's possible you might be asked to leave by someone, you may choose to do so in order not to cause a scene but if you refuse and the other person isn't going to get into a row  about it then I don't think there's a lot that  they can do about anyone being there, unless of course there is any legal restriction on you not being too near one of the people attending.


Is it possible the details will appear in the local newspaper? We didn't bother doing this with my Nan's recent death because so many of her friends and family  had already passed and the rest we knew how to contact anyway.  

Correct. Unless it is wholly held on private land then a funeral is considered a public event where anybody is free to attend

Silvertabby

Savvy_Sue said:

Silvertabby said:

If the funeral hasn't taken place yet, then you may get  more information from a florist as they are less likely to be bound by data protection .  Google florists in your m-in-laws home town, then ring them to ask if they are doing the flowers for the funeral of Mrs X and, if yes, they should give the date and place.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that: florists are every bit as bound by data protection as the rest of us. 

They MIGHT give the date and place, but I'm not sure they should. I'm not even sure they should confirm that they are doing the flowers for Mrs X: not saying they won't. 

The date and time of a service are a matter of public record, but to me that just means that the crematorium / cemetery will have a list of services taking place, with dates and times, and that information may be available if you ask THEM. 

I agree that florists wouldn't/shouldn't divulge details relating to their own customers, but the place, date and time of a funeral is public information.  My point was that florists have less reason to wear the 'jobsworth cap' than a public servant.  

My late sister was a florist.

Sarahspangles

Silvertabby said:

Savvy_Sue said:

Silvertabby said:

If the funeral hasn't taken place yet, then you may get  more information from a florist as they are less likely to be bound by data protection .  Google florists in your m-in-laws home town, then ring them to ask if they are doing the flowers for the funeral of Mrs X and, if yes, they should give the date and place.

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that: florists are every bit as bound by data protection as the rest of us. 

They MIGHT give the date and place, but I'm not sure they should. I'm not even sure they should confirm that they are doing the flowers for Mrs X: not saying they won't. 

The date and time of a service are a matter of public record, but to me that just means that the crematorium / cemetery will have a list of services taking place, with dates and times, and that information may be available if you ask THEM. 

I agree that florists wouldn't/shouldn't divulge details relating to their own customers, but the place, date and time of a funeral is public information.  My point was that florists have less reason to wear the 'jobsworth cap' than a public servant.  

My late sister was a florist.

It precisely is ‘what their job is worth’ for crematoria to provide information about the funerals they are conducting.  They can also place a limit on the number of people attending and the funeral director coordinates management of this with the immediate family. 

Mojisola

Check out the local crematoria - most publish a list of booked funerals -

for example - https://bacas.southampton.gov.uk/public_pages/ppbacasdiary.aspx?Mode=ViewDiary

unforeseen

They can also place a limit on the number of people attending and the funeral director coordinates management of this with the immediate family. 

The only limit a crematorium will  invoke is the capacity that it can handle. But that does not prevent other people attending if they so wish, such as going direct to the crematorium before the funeral party arrives. 

Undervalued

ellectrastar said:

DullGreyGuy said:

ellectrastar said:

Pennylane said:

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Try ringing the funeral directors local to here she lived to see if they are dealing with the funeral.

Also look for local newspapers online.

Which part oof the UK did she live in?  Rules for getting a copy of the death certificate vary.

How did the OP find out their  MIL had passed away then?

Personal information really and kind of irrelevant to my question. 

Not really irrelevant... but clearly if you dont want to say you dont have to. Assuming a relative let him know then the obvious thing to do would be to ask the relative. 

My question is how to find out details of someone’s death. I haven’t asked anyone to speculate on the ins and outs of who told us or why we don’t know anything more. It’s a simple question to which I’ve had sensible answers so I don’t need to explain anything further. 

It is a public discussion forum. It is not limited to answering specific questions, still less is it restricted to giving only opinions you want to hear.

You are entitled to any information that is a matter of public record such as a death registration. Assuming there is a will you will be able to obtain a copy (for a nominal fee) once probate has been granted.

I am not sure that the undertaker or crematorium should give out any information without the permission of those that have instructed them. It may not apply in your case, but there are situations where there are good reasons why a particular person is not welcome and the undertaker etc cannot be expected to make judgements.

Undervalued

Silvertabby said:

If the funeral hasn't taken place yet, then you may get  more information from a florist as they are less likely to be bound by data protection .  Google florists in your m-in-laws home town, then ring them to ask if they are doing the flowers for the funeral of Mrs X and, if yes, they should give the date and place.

You could then arrange to send your own flowers, if that is what you want.

I don't agree. They have a duty of confidentiality to their client and should not give out any information without their permission.