Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my relative about my lottery win from a ticket she got me?

MSE_Kelvin MSE Staff Posts: 308
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MSE Staff
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

For my birthday, a close relative always gives me two National Lottery tickets, and I do the same for her. This year, I won a significant amount of money, and I'm not sure whether she might expect me to split it with her, given the reciprocal nature of the exchange. I've considered keeping quiet for six months, then saying the money came from another ticket, so I can share it around the family as I choose. But when I give her tickets, I make a note of the numbers so I can check if she's won, so there's a chance she's done the same. Should I tell her?

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  • AC55
    AC55 Forumite Posts: 2,757
    500 Posts Third Anniversary Homepage Hero Name Dropper
    I would probably tell her. You never know what the answer she gives may be - she may just be happy that something fruitful has come from her gift. 

    What would the OPs expectation be if the shoe was on the other foot? 
  • nero33
    nero33 Forumite Posts: 126
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    They must have had the conversation at some stage: 'What if one of us wins?'
  • keithyno.1
    keithyno.1 Forumite Posts: 81
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    So you check the numbers of the tickets you give her? Could that be because you’d expect her to split any winnings with you? Sounds like it to me. So do the right thing and split your winnings with her.

    If you don’t you’ll just end up feeling guilty, especially if you lie to her about when you won it. It’s obviously troubling your conscience already, so if you DON’T split it with her it will just make you miserable in the long term.
  • paulrob666
    paulrob666 Forumite Posts: 2
    Part of the Furniture First Post Combo Breaker
    Absolutely. In fact, you should probably just keep the value of the scratch cards and give the remaining winnings to your friend. 
  • giogiu1974
    giogiu1974 Forumite Posts: 24
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    Follow your conscience and do it. You know what is the right thing to do. 
    What you are going to do is worth much more than money. 
  • Groom
    Groom Forumite Posts: 48
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    You obviously think you should tell her, otherwise why even ask? Perhaps she already knows if she does as you do and notes the numbers and is waiting for you to tell her, what would you have done if her numbers had come up? However, you do give each other the tickets as presents, so she has no claim on the money, unless you had an agreement.  You say that you are going to share it round the family, so you could just include her in that. 
  • LP53
    LP53 Forumite Posts: 21
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    Tell her you’ve won and you’re sharing it around the family including her if that’s what you want to do as it’s your gift. She won’t know how much you’ve won I suppose. 
    What would you expect her to do if she won from a ticket you bought? Do you think she would share? I think if I won from a close family members gift I would share it.
  • Ed264
    Ed264 Forumite Posts: 80
    10 Posts First Anniversary
    Without hesitation, I say tell her. She's a close relative and you may well lose her trust if she discovers you kept it a secret. And share your lucky winnings with her. I suspect she would do likewise in the same situation.
  • Gosportmum
    Gosportmum Forumite Posts: 12
    10 Posts First Anniversary
    It'd obviously bothering you as you've written in. Give her some of your winnings to clear your conscience or are you more concerned she's recorded your numbers and is waiting to see if you are going to tell her?
    If she'd given you £10 note and you'd bought a winning ticket, what would you do then?
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