Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my relative about my lottery win from a ticket she got me?

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Comments

  • I honestly can't believe you didn't tell her straightaway.
  • Agent57
    Agent57 Posts: 80 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 22 March 2023 at 12:13PM
    Follow my logic here:

    The lottery collect money from a lot of (mostly poorer) people in society and then gives a big chunk of money to one ticket holder.

    The ticket holder is then sent on a guilt trip and asked to redistribute that money back amongst people.

    So what is the point of doing the lottery?  Unless you just want to take money from those 'undeserving' people over there and give it to your own 'deserving' people?
  • If you were nice, you'd split it half/half. You'd still have gained a substantial amount, & everyone's happy. 
  • You should tell her that one of your birthday present tickets won, don't lie about when you won!!

    The winnings are yours of course, although it sounds as if you would expect a share if she won from your present? If you made an agreement to split any winnings from these gifts then honour it. If you plan to share with other family you can tell her that if you choose to and giving her a gift would be kind. 

    I'm not suggesting you give away 50% unless you previously agreed to but don't lie and maybe treat other people how you would like to be treated?
  • kesbee
    kesbee Posts: 6 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Obviously you should tell her, take her out for dinner as a thank you, and then decide what you want to do with your winnings. Unless you have previously said that you will share anything 50:50 then there's no real dilemma here. Be transparent, be grateful, and stop monitoring the tickets you give to her, that's frankly a bit creepy. 
  • warby68
    warby68 Posts: 3,128 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    How mean can you get?

    Of course you'd tell her, honour any agreement you had regarding winnings and let her share the joy. If no prior agreement I would still treat anyone who played a part in my good fortune handsomely.

    On the moral dilemma scale the suggestion to keep quiet and pretend to avoid sharing with her then that's a complete moral fail.
  • cici71
    cici71 Posts: 101 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why the secrecy!? Yes of course! 
  • jedav
    jedav Posts: 46 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Posts
    What would you expect her to do if you won, because you, presumably, note down her numbers for a reason?  Do that.

  • Chris_Jay
    Chris_Jay Posts: 67 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    Nikkij_uk said that the buyer of the ticket is the legal owner of any winnings. I'm not sure that's right. People will often buy a lottery ticket or a scratch card as a little extra gift, but the recipient would be very unhappy if the ticket won and the giver promptly claimed the winnings. I know for a certainty that I wouldn't even check the numbers if that were the legal position, and I wouldn't buy a ticket for someone else either.
    It makes a mockery of gifting if the gift can be reclaimed.
    It may be the case in other countries, but I've never heard of it happening here - and there would be massive headlines in the press if it did!

    As for the OP, where's the dilemma? Give your relative  a share, and make it the last time you create a gift-hostage. Buy your own tickets.
  • prowla
    prowla Posts: 13,832 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    What would you like her to do if she had won?
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