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Advice MIL died without leaving a will

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  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,660 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    She does have entitlement to costs as an administrator. Postage, cost of certificates and endorsements, travel and accommodation if necessary, printing, legal fees etc.

    That doesn't include time, which is why donor's often leave executors a small bequest to compensate for their help.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • paul2louise
    paul2louise Posts: 2,539 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I think the easiest way is for them both to state their costs in the settlement. As for the time involved it's more likely he should charge her for time wasting and loss of interest but at this stage he just wants it finalised and no more messing about. She has made a right hash of it all and cost them both a lot of unnecessary costs that could have been avoided 
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,028 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I think the easiest way is for them both to state their costs in the settlement. As for the time involved it's more likely he should charge her for time wasting and loss of interest but at this stage he just wants it finalised and no more messing about. She has made a right hash of it all and cost them both a lot of unnecessary costs that could have been avoided 

    I think she's proven that she'll find anything to disagree on and drag it out with TBH.

    At this stage, why push on for "fair" costs?

    You risk both digging your heels in and risking continued stalemate.

    Also, I take it she still hasn't shown you the colour of the money, by offering any interim payment at all?
    ☹️







    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,670 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I think it's fair enough that BOTH sides costs come out of the estate, regardless of who incurred them and why. When my Mum was sole executor of my Nans will last year, she was getting into a muddle with various paperwork to do with Nan. I took her shopping and she purchased  several  different coloured folders to help her sort it, she took the money for these out of Nan's estate as well as postage for sending documents off. That was completely fair to do this. Mum never charged for her  petrol or parking expenses (though she reasonably could have).

    In your case I would say Sis-IL is down to her final objection and has nowhere to go after this so I'd be tempted to say ok, we'll pay our legal costs so that she is forced to 'show me the money'  
  • tetrarch
    tetrarch Posts: 330 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper
    He has added his costs to as I easier to account for all costs than work out what's her executor and beneficiary costs are

    What are "beneficiary costs"? Either the estate is liable or it's not. These definitely need to be drawn out, but this still dowsn't rule out an interim distribution of the bulk of the estate - Is SIL still pushing back on this?

    Regards

    Tet
  • paul2louise
    paul2louise Posts: 2,539 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tetrarch said:
    He has added his costs to as I easier to account for all costs than work out what's her executor and beneficiary costs are

    What are "beneficiary costs"? Either the estate is liable or it's not. These definitely need to be drawn out, but this still dowsn't rule out an interim distribution of the bulk of the estate - Is SIL still pushing back on this?

    Regards

    Tet
    Her legal costs. Her costs are far more than they should be if she had done the right thing and hubby has his costs. So instead of trying to work out what is what they both itemise their costs. Still no interim. It is very annoying. 
  • tetrarch said:
    He has added his costs to as I easier to account for all costs than work out what's her executor and beneficiary costs are

    What are "beneficiary costs"? Either the estate is liable or it's not. These definitely need to be drawn out, but this still dowsn't rule out an interim distribution of the bulk of the estate - Is SIL still pushing back on this?

    Regards

    Tet
    Her legal costs. Her costs are far more than they should be if she had done the right thing and hubby has his costs. So instead of trying to work out what is what they both itemise their costs. Still no interim. It is very annoying. 
    ...and every day you are losing interest whilst it sits in your SIL's accounts presumeable earning interest. No wonder you are tearing your hair out!

    Regards

    Gary
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,028 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 28 February 2024 at 12:12PM
    I can only think of one reason why SiL hasn't even made a small interim payment, after all this time!! ☹️

    Not even £10k as a gesture of good will? 😡
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • Sea_Shell said:
    I can only think of one reason why SiL hasn't even made a small interim payment, after all this time!! ☹️

    Not even £10k as a gesture of good will? 😡
    I can think of three reasons.

    1. They're just nasty and want to be as difficult as possible.

    2. They still dispute facts and won't accept that they should pay anything.

    3. They don't have the money.
  • BikingBud
    BikingBud Posts: 2,538 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Sea_Shell said:
    I can only think of one reason why SiL hasn't even made a small interim payment, after all this time!! ☹️

    Not even £10k as a gesture of good will? 😡
    I can think of three reasons.

    1. They're just nasty and want to be as difficult as possible.

    2. They still dispute facts and won't accept that they should pay anything.

    3. They don't have the money.
    And potentially a combination of all three!

    I can foresee some issues as my parents are elderly and I can only hope that when it comes to it I do not behave in this manner but reading these threads really does bring home how we treat each other.

    Really am rooting for you @paul2louise and hope it gets resolved just so you can move on.
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