Saving lots in pots!

~FlowerPot~

Whilst ive been medidtating, and thinking on some thoughs that have come up.

I am wondering if now would be a good time to stopping working, to stop the current clinic work that is. It pays very well for what it is and the hours I spend on it, but does not bring me any joy anymore. haasnt for quite a long time. I am also thinking of stopping the 2 healing clients I have. I love the healing modality I do, but I dont think it is working for the 2 clients I have and I and thinking of alternative ways to help rather than the currant set up. I also want to study another healing modality and really importantly I want to have a push at developing my artistic side which always gets suppressed and is the last thing I have any time for or any energy left.

These thoughts are completetly un MSE of which I am completetly aware and also, If I stop the foot work it will take a long, long time to build it back up (pron 18 months to 2 years!) This knowledge and my sensible head has kept me from stopping before and of course the lack of money coming in!!

I would like to try and sell my art and then involve the healing work with that . But firslty for 6 months ish, I would like to focus on my health and the house. Health first, I need to look seriously at what is causing my issues, I am going to request some blood work for gluten/ iron/ and hormones which i suspect may be part of the problem.

We aim to move house after DD has finished her a levels (summer 2026) and the house needs an awful lot of work, the housework is not gettting done regurarly enough as at it is, let alone having the energy to try and decorate. For instance our bedroom has a threadbare carpet and we stripped 2 walls of wallpaper, started filling and then stopped ~ its a mess!! and ive had a LOT of time to look at it over the last week!!!!!!

I feel like this would be a bit of a fresh start. I have been in a rut for too long and this feels quite exciting. Yet to speak to DH about it who will be unhappy i suspect about the reduction in income as it would put more pressure on him, not that my income brings in a lot, but it is something! But he also knows Ive not been in a great place for some time.

It feels drastic to stop everything, but I feel if i just reduce my work it wouldnt give me the headspace. Or maybe I just have so little energy I cant think straight at the moment. Certainly not going to make any decision immediately and until it has been discussed fully with DH. I have work tomorrow and fully intend to go, but I suspect it will exhaust me to the point i cancel the remaining work on tues and weds. We will see.

I need to think some more on what I actually do with my currant income!!!!! Car money / DD / the doggo ~ are defiently the main things plus the freedom to buy bits and bobs as I need and also want. I dont spend much really on myself; my hair hasnt been cut for nearly a year (and it shows!!) I dont do clothes/ nails/ shoes/ hardly go out. AN exception are my medidation weekends ~ they are a bonus, expensive at about £350, but they are importmant to me. Alot i have been putting in pots !!!!haha, like the car pot and the xmas pot and saving challenges and pension. Pension is another issue, it is so pathetic, it hardly feels worth contributing to, but I know it is really and at least one has been started.

I think I should draw up a time frame and consider when I think i could do what and where i might be by summer 2026. 18 months, is that long enough to see if I think I could make some sort of imcome from my healing art?

Lots to think on, but helpful to get my thoughts down. Would love opinions/ thoughts/helpful ideas!!!

KajiKita

Perhaps keep the clinic going as it is well paid but compress the hours / only do three days per week so you still have some income coming in but also space to heal and explore what you want to do? You could also explore putting your prices up so you get more per session but that will offset some of the shortfall of doing fewer sessions. 

Definitely let the healing clients go if it’s not helping them - that can become quite toxic if not addressed and now you’ve seen it you must action it. I recommend that this is done asap as it will weigh on you otherwise - I suspect you will feel a,lot lighter once it’s done …

I think there might be an element of still recovering from all the tooth trauma. It has a stronger effect than we ever realise / want to acknowledge and being sensitive (you must be, to be a healer) it will affect you more than most. 

Do you have practices that build energy for you, such as chi gung or similar? I get the feeling that your cup is very low and although you are trying to restart you are doing so from a very low base. Your meditation etc will calm you but inevitably it is yin in nature - from here (and I might be 100 miles off of course 😉) you read like you need more yang in your life / practice / energy?

KK

debtfreewannabe321

I agree with putting the price up. People will drop away if they don't value your time and that will automatically reduce working hours (if you take on no more clients). 
I have a few thoughts on this work/ life balance.

I wish I had followed my own career and dreams but being married to a lowly paid soldier was too difficult (with 3 kids who needed expensive childcare at the time). I kind of think had I done it, I would have a proper income now, a career and would be set up to be independent (which I was not when I broke up with DH). I think having your own income even in a long term settled relationship is important so you feel like you are contributing, and you also have some freedom/ no guilt in spending what you need to. And your income is related to a career that you could possibly take elsewhere...could you change where you work possibly? 

However, on the flip side, I have quit a job just this year because I couldn't hack it any more. It was a rubbish job, lowly paid, I was better than it and I just felt my MH was declining too quickly for me to stay - it wasn't worth it. We also had a house that needed finishing too! I had stuck out this job for 1.5 years and decided enough was enough. So I quit (lots of you on here encouraged me to actually as did DP) and I finished the house, decluttered, organised and made the whole moving thing my focus. (And recently I just quit a job I didn't even last 2 weeks at because it was just awful.) I think life is too short to be spending on things that doesn't bring any joy.

So I can kind of see both side for keeping a job and quitting. You are the one who knows how much you hate it/ how much it takes up mental space/ etc negatives and positives. I would make a list for pro/cons and I would also make a list of things you will not be able to do without your income and see if it is worth it (mine was worth it I earned less than £500 per month most months so I made savings on food, subscriptions etc to make it worthwhile). Also do a SOA on projected income/expenditure on just DH income and see just how bad it is, I bet you'll be suprised like I was (hence I just upped and left).

I have meditated for years, and I am all too aware of what makes me unhappy and what sparks joy in my life these days and notice the smallest changes (think this also happens when you're highly sensitive too) and I think you're probably the same....use that awareness to sit and think on exactly what you don't like about work (hours? the fact you have no time to do anything after? clients in particular that might be draining? etc) and see if you can make small changes there...as well as reducing your hours. But if you really hate it as much as I hated my last job then I would be a hypocrite to sit here and say you should effectively sell your soul for an extra penny! Good luck with it follow the joy..........

~FlowerPot~

Thank you so much. Kk and dfw for your thoughtlful replies. It really does help. 
I had a conversation with DH and although I expected him to say no, he actuary agreed I should stop and take time to get myself feeling well again. I was so shocked I burst into tears. The last 3 years have been very stressful and I'm burnt out. It felt like a relief. I still thought I would try and work today, as I had booked patients back in and didn't want to let them down (, still a people pleaser! ) 
I went into the garden to rake some off the mountains of leaves we have, slowly filled 3 trugs and came in exhausted. Realised I would not be fit enough for work and so rang patients to let them know. Had a lovely conversation with a couple of them, who despite the age gap are like friends! 
After spending about 2 hours thinking I would give it all up I then felt maybe I shouldn't. So my current thinking is to stop the clinic but keep the domiciliary round. It definetely doesnt pay as well, but has several advantages which right now make more sense 
Later start, more movable, can take longer and less clock watching, i dont have to cart 4 loads to the clinic and back hoping there is a space nearby, wont have to pay rent, (but will have more petrol) 

Anyhow that's my currant thoughts, but I need to reflect a bit longer, I don't want to make a decision in haste especially when I'm still not feeling good and unfortunately the nerve pain has increased overnight. If I can't bear a to wear a face mask that is another big problem. 

Kk, I agree with alot about what you said abut yin and yang, looked into it a bit yesterday and can certainly see what you mean. I also told one of my healing clients that I couldn't no longer work with them, I need to speak to the other one today. That has been a good decision. Still need to consider my tutee! 

Dfw, I can see a lot of truth in what you said about having my own money coming in, the foot work was a family tradition, I studied it whilst pregnant with number 1 specifically  because I knew it would work well around a family, but it was never something that I dreamed of, but it has worked very well in terms of money, and being able to work my hours as and when around the children, and giving me some independence. 

KajiKita

Having DH’s support will make a big difference to you. I am pleased for you. 

If the domicillary round is easier / less demanding (it certainly sounds like it is!) then yes, go for that as the best option.  (I hadn’t appreciated all the hassle factors such as lugging equipment around for the clinic.) 

Well done for having the first healing client conversation. I hope the next one is easy to do too. Your tutee - will they learn enough / get what they need / want from being your tutee from the domicillary round? If not, then you are no longer aligned, it’s time to stop it. You could make it easier for them by making introductions for them to an alternative tutor? If you think they would get what they want / need by staying with you, explain what the changes are that you plan to make and see how they react. 

Is there a serious possibility that you and DH might split? (If you would excuse me asking you this …)

KK

~FlowerPot~

thanks KK, i have sent you a msg x

~FlowerPot~

Thank kk, for you reply, 
My tutee is in my healing work not my footwork. Should have probably said.
I think one of my issues is I have been trying to do too many things:
My main business, then building a healing business and also developing my artwork into a busines ( which hasn't happened!) also last year I was a driver for DD which took several hours out of each day, 4 days a week. And it was very stressful because of her anxiety even getting out of the house was a win! (as well as stressful)
Looking back that was crazy, so much juggling.
Anyway, no more driving which is great, healing clients stoppedfor the foreseeable. And Monday clinic stopped. This should make a big difference. 

Skint_yet_Again

I don’t know anything about your line of work Flowers but I hope everything works out for you. It sounds like you are physically and mentally exhausted so I’m sure less stress will help 

debtfreewannabe321

I think you're thinking about it carefully rather than jumping straight into a decision which you might regret so this is good. And the fact that DH has supported you in this line of thought is fab. 

I understand what you mean about family tradition..I followed the path of my father, uncles into a service trade as a young single mum many years ago. Learned the trade and set up shop so to speak then spent the next two years hating it but also feeling like I couldn't quit because it paid so well. I did quit. And I was relieved and another job soon came along.....
So .....it's not the end of the world if you do take a break.
Your DH can pick up the slack I assume (as my dp did when I quit my jobs this year) you're already a well versed mse'er who can tighten the belt where needed and perhaps you can pick up pt work as and when you feel ready. 

I hope your nerve pain subsides soon. It's exhausting and tiring when you're suffering physically and it's hard to think straight never mind make life changing decisions ❤️

Time2count

I think you're right not to make any decisions right away, maybe put to the back of your mind until January?
In the meantime do a few different budgets - 1 where you're not working at all. Another where you start with the expenses and see what household income is needed to meet all those etc. Bare in mind as well that if you get any child benefits then maybe make another budget without that money at all and see where you'll be when DD leaves college etc.
I hope you're feeling better soon, you really have been through the wars with your poor teeth haven't you?!