MeandO's money-shuffling

foxandflowers

I'm so sorry to read that. I know exactly how disheartening it is - the last few years I have had a card from my daughter and nothing apart from a "Happy birthday babe" from Mr Fox. As his kids get older they've taken to messaging me happy birthday/mothers day, and that is lovely. I don't want people to spend money on me, I just want a day of the year where everything goes smoothly and I don't have to do housework!!

Sending you belated birthday wishes and fervent hopes that next year is better for you  

sudonum-mum

Happy Birthday MeandO.

I'm sorry to hear your birthday was so crap, the people in your life should make your birthday special.
Have you told everyone how you feel? Especially your OH....you said you made excuses and went to bed, have you since spoken to him?  If you haven't you really should otherwise nothing gets resolve.
How dare he not make any effort for your birthday. Your relationship has always seemed to me very one sided with a lot of the effort coming from your side, I know you like the company but he also has to be worthwhile.

I also think DS could have got you something. Is there a reason you didn't tell him it was your birthday and give him money to get you something?
I know it's basically buying your own but how else do you get anything?

Since I got divorced I buy myself my own Christmas and Birthday presents, it's great, I always get what I want!!!

What are you up to for Easter?

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry your birthday wasn’t a happy day. Your OH needs a kick up the backside. How old is your DS?

Honeysucklelou2

So sorry to read of your birthday experiences.  Your birthday should be  a day  of celebration .  Happy belated birthday for last week.  I hope that the Easter weekend has been better.

dawnybabes

My first husband was nearly divorced a year early (in hindsight …….. sigh) as he’d not bought me anything for Xmas - intended going shopping Xmas Eve but the car had a fault which he needed to fix to drive for Xmas dinner.  I pointed out that it wasn’t a surprise, Xmas day was the same day every year - his !!!!!! poor planning was not my fault ! 

I chose much better with my 2nd DH ! 

You are worth so much more, tbh I couldn’t be bothered with a relationship where I do all the work and I wasn’t valued. 

MeandO

Thank you for your kindness everyone. Birthday issues seem a long time ago now so I'll leave that alone for now, but I do appreciate everyone's comments. xx

I have a bit of a stressful issue going on and I really can't believe this is happening again, but we may have to sell up and move.
I think I mentioned briefly a little while ago that the road our house is on floods quite frequently during heavy rain and high tide. We don't live in sight of a tidal body of water but are close as the crow flies and it turns out the drains in this road act as a type of overflow at high tide. When we first moved in it was just a large puddle on part of the road afar from us but it has been getting worse, peaking during the spring tides when it was extremely deep and I couldn't get the car out to get DS to school. It got as close as lapping at the gates of our front garden - under 2m away from the front door. Any higher and I think our house would have been at risk. Several sets of neighbours who have lived here for decades have said they've never seen it this bad and talks with the council have resulted in no help or remedy. I'm really worried, as are several neighbours. No flood risk was evident from searches when I bought the house, I guess we have global warming to thank for the higher waters and one can only assume it's only going to get worse. So, what do I do? Do I stay in a house we've come to love (DS especially) and keep my fingers crossed it doesn't get any worse and basically wait for it to flood, or do I sell up now before the house is flooded, we lose everything and the house becomes worthless? 
I had an estate agent valuation yesterday which came up pretty much as expected but it is likely I would need to add at least £40K-£50K to my mortgage to buy something of similar size and standard in the areas we need to be in for DS's school as there's just nothing 'mid range' on the market here. Plus there's moving fees and stamp duty to consider. What the heck do I do?!

badmemory

From what I have seen near here it isn't the extra rain it is that they have built on places where the rain used to drain away.  Thankfully doesn't affect me but if they build where they are suggesting which already has water streaming down the main access road I can foresee problems which being selfish I think will miss me.  I live half way up a hill but about 20 years ago when a culvert half a mile away collapsed we had water lapping at the back door.  They were building nearby then too.  I don't think they look into the flooding issue properly before they give planning permission & as for the building they have allowed on places that are known flood plains - well don't get me started.  It must be very worrying to live with though & I can see why you are contemplating moving.

MeandO

Yesterday a second estate agent valued the house and came up with a price £10K higher than the first. I think somewhere in the middle of the two is about right. I've been thinking about things non-stop and I just can't bring myself to move us again and add more to the mortgage debt, I don't think I have the stamina left in me to deal with any of that unless I really have no other choice. So for now, we wait and see what happens. 

MeandO

After some thought recently, I've rejigged my monthly budget today. I want this EF/Savings built up to £15K ASAP so I can then tackle the mortgage head on. My savings interest rate is also higher than my mortgage interest rate so it makes sense. I'll be sending a minimum of £500 a month to the EF from my next payday and have cancelled the £100 OP to the mortgage. I have three sub accounts on my mortgage with the first at a rate of 1.74% not ending until 11/2026. The others are at 2.19% and 2.26% and are fixed until 5/2027 and 8/2032 respectively. This way I should have a nice amount in the savings to thrown a chunk at paying them off by the time those dates come round.
I've also upped my grocery budget by £50 a month to £250 as I was frequently going over and I've increased payments to the 'school' pot to cover DS's school uniform and trips by £25 a month to £50 a month. Now to wait impatiently for pay day.

MeandO

It's payday which means £500 has been sent to the savings - annoyingly it now sits at £6923.85 so I'd like to find another £76.15 this month to get it up to £7K. Both the Christmas & House/Car pots have had £150 each sent to them, £25 will go to DS's ISA shortly and just under £200 has gone to the CC to pay that off. I've cancelled the £100 to the holidays pot this month in order to pay the CC off instead, plus no holidays are planned for the forseeable. £7 has gone in the YNAB fee pot and £50 has gone to DS's school pot which I upped just in time as he came home from school with a letter last week for a £2K+ sporting school trip in two year's time. It's an amazing trip for him and his father and I have agreed to go halves on it for him (although there has already been dispute from the Ex about the deposit payment dates).  There is a payment plan over 2 years which is perfectly manageable, but it does mean we won't be going on the big trip I had planned to take DS on during the same holiday time in 2026. DS would rather go on the school one so that is fine with me. DS is going to save for his spending money.

In health news, I had an appointment with a consultant last week about some issues I've been experiencing and have been referred for further tests. It has highlighted even more now how urgently I need to get fit and lose weight, so I've signed myself up to a month's 'small group personal training' with a ladies over-30-only fitness centre nearby. It's cost £100 but includes nutrition, fitness and mindset modules too so I have ditched the idea of returning to SW which I don't think left me with the healthiest relationship with food. I have bought new trainers as mine were not fit for purpose (reduced to £40 from £90) and gym wear (nothing expensive, just from Matal@n using the current 30% off code) hence the credit card balance which I've paid off today. I am looking forward to getting started and hoping this is the start of a happier, healthier me.

Today I have also purchased more of the peri-menopausal supplements which seem to be helping me and 3 months supply of another supplement recommended by the consultant at a total cost of £39.93. It should have been over £70 but I combined a 3 for 2 offer with a 15% discount code to get the price down. I should receive 15% CB on that too which has already tracked.

YNAB has been updated. I need to pay for my Will (£180) and DS's school trip deposit (£150) this month. The Will will be paid for out of the car/house pot, the trip deposit I may take out of the Christmas pot as there's £650 in there presently. I also need to pay the house insurance next month so that will have to come out of the House/Car pot too.
Now to keep a tight reign on the budget this month...