MeandO's money-shuffling

MeandO

Thank you DFW321, Smudgeismydog, Mrs_Money_Penny and Newstartforme. Your kindness, wise words and sharing your experiences have made a big difference to this 'internet stranger' this week. You've really helped me and for that I'm so grateful. I don't have many people I can talk to about this in RL and so feel very alone in dealing with it day to day. 

What lovely words your son said, @Smudgeismydog. I hope the closeness with my son will come back in the same way as he grows. It feels like I'm having a limb slowly ripped off daily at the moment. Saying that, he opted to go to sleep in my bed one night this week, something he hasn't done for a very long time and which took me by surprise. I got very little sleep from him talking in his sleep and flinging his limbs around, but I was happy to take it.

I think I'm coming down with the lurgy. DS was coughing yesterday and I now have cold symptoms so am dosing up on the cold & flu meds. I'm hoping it's not the dreaded covid as it seems rife here presently.

Two loads of washing are done and on the line despite it being grey and cold out. The weather forecast is promising me sunny spells this afternoon so that's what I'm waiting for...
I've dragged the dehumidifier out this morning from under my desk where it's lived all summer. I opened all of DS's drawers and ran it in his room for a couple of hours, then the upstairs landing and now it's on downstairs. The house feels warmer as a result and it's collected quite a bit of water, so I'll keep up with that a few times a week now we're into the dreaded 'window condensation daily' season.

Inspired by DFW321's diary, (thank you!) I consulted my Christmas shopping list last night and bought quite a lot of Christmas presents after finding them at good prices. I used an offer for around £40 off of some posh smellies for DS and OH and also went through TCB which has tracked for £18. It was such a good deal that I also bought a gift set for DS's birthday which is less than two months after Christmas and a couple of small perfumes for family members or a friend I buy for. I also purchased a couple of clothing items and quite a few stocking fillers for DS, such as socks, skin stuff he likes, cheap wireless earphones (as he always loses one from the pair!) and a couple of books for OH, one of which I will give to my parents to give to him. I also bought a couple of things for my parents, token gifts for OH's parents and a little something for the one 'aunty' (who's not really my aunt, but as good as) that I buy for.

OH and I would like to stop buying for some of the 'children' (one 17, one 20) in OH's family as we never see them/hear from them and I feel they're basically adults now and OH doesn't have a close relationship with them. Their Mum kindly gives my DS a gift but he doesn't even know them, probably met them 3 or 4 times, so I feel it's all a bit unnecessary and done out of a feeling of obligation. However, OH's family relations have not been good this past year and he has got the brunt of it. I can see he is taken for granted by his parents and not treated in the same manner as his siblings which really upsets him. He says it has always been like this and he has always felt 3rd best which makes me sad for him as he has always tried to help his parents and loves them dearly. They all usually go to the parents at Christmas for a big family dinner and spend the day together but they never even invite OH, let alone me and DS, that's how messed up it is. So, if we do stop buying for the 'kids' I know it will come back on OH and probably even me as we live very close by to the family and it may be hard to avoid the negative disapproval that is sure to follow. Urgh, why are families so difficult?!

I don't think I've mentioned it on here, but I made the decision to withdraw from OH's family over the past few months. I have always done quite a lot for his parents - organised house repairs, builders, fetched shopping, cooked for them, taken them out/on breaks, sorted utilities etc., untiI had a text message from one of his siblings one night to the effect of 'why are you getting involved, what's it got to do with you, (my OH) should be sorting it' when trying to help organise something for his parents that had been dumped on us as the siblings didn't want to do it. I was trying to help as OH was at work and I was free, but was more or less told that I'm not part of the family (until my skillset is useful to one of them), so I won't be bending over backwards for them anymore. OH was mortified that his sis spoke to me like that. I lived through this passive-aggressive manipulation from siblings in-law in my past life when I was married and am not participating a second time around. I'm most disappointed in OH's mother whom I had a really good relationship with but has said nothing and done nothing to make me feel like I am actually still part of the family, and has cold-shouldered me since, so they can all get on with it. Not my circus, not my monkeys, as the saying goes.

Anyway, lots more Christmas gifts are sorted, I just need to find some wrapping paper now and space to store everything! I might actually seal things in a plastic tub and put them inside the attic until Christmas as I have no room elsewhere.  
The money for all the above gifts has been taken from my gifts pot so all is covered and paid for, which is a nice feeling.

In other money saving news, my complaint to 'ono' has been closed and a £25 'gesture' will be sent. I'm just happy to be on a lower tariff now but the gesture is welcomed. 

OH is cooking for me tonight - some comfort food - I can't wait! I'm looking forward to a hot meal I don't have to cook, maybe a bath and PJ's on early and a night of sitting in front of the TV. I may even go wild and put the heating on for half an hour if it's chilly, just to spoil us!

There's still no sign of the sun making an appearance... I have little hope of not having to use the TD later.