MeandO's money-shuffling

badmemory

Sorry but someone is not looking after their interests.  If late teenagers can get through matches with no injuries then how come young teenagers that tend to bounce easier are getting hurt more.  Someone is not doing their job.  In a whole season I only saw one inijury & that was a rebroken nose which the recipient was quite pleased about.  I repeat someone is not doing their job properly.  I also thought that they had brought in stronger rules for when youngsters play to avoid those lifetime injuries.  Just to bring up another friend who got injured playing rugby, well at least once they brought in automatics he would be able to drive as even though his father was at the time a surgeon they had to fix his leg in a straight line it was so smashed.

MeandO

I'm not sure what your experience is of the sport, badmemory, but you are very lucky that in one season you saw only one injury, I'd say that is out of the ordinary.
I am not willingly sending DS off to the slaughter and he is not being targeted. As I've already said, I don't want him to play at all, but his father is so heavily involved in the sport, DS claims he doesn't want to stop and when I voice my concerns I am up against it from several angles. I appreciate your concern, badmemory, but I'm not sure exactly what you expect me to do.

MeandO

I've shuffled money around to pay off the credit card, it was weighing on me that there was a little bit of an outstanding balance. It means I don't have much left in the 'all other spends' category for the next two weeks but I have no plans, I don't need anything and there should be plenty to cover groceries in the relevant pot. I'd rather I don't owe anything anyway. 

The washing has been in and out of the dryer/on the line today and is back in the dryer now as it just wasn't getting dry outside. I'm afraid I've relented and put the heating on today as we've both been in the house and it's felt really cold in here. It will be going off shortly when the rooms warm up a bit.
Next job is to put the winter bedding on DS's bed when I change it later and maybe hoover through if I can find the oomph. Must say, my new-found 'zest' is waning already today...

badmemory

Sorry I hadn't realised you were attending the practices/games.  Obviously my comments therefore were inappropriate so I do apologise & I will butt out.

debtfreewannabe321

My DS quit rugby around 15 years old, this is after several trips to A&E with concussion, possible fracture, dislocation and he continually had bruises and cuts. I tried to gently say to him he wasn't the right build, he was very tall, slim, had a runners body rather than rugby build. He took great offence to it. But what really shocked him and I think was the turning point was during a game where one boy got knocked unconscious and no one could wake him up, the wait for the ambulance was horrendous. I think after that he woke up a little to the worry I was expressing and he decided not to return after that season. -The boy was okay, he ended up off for almost a month though...! Sometimes we have to just let them find out some lessons the hard way.
Since my DS has moved to his dad's house I have an inkling he is going to re-join the rugby team down there, he just wants to be like his dad and big bro but he clearly doesn't remember all the injuries DS1 had as he was too young! I hate the sport now from all the injuries and accidents I have witnessed from the sideline 🙈.

Anyway, moving on - I am sorry your event didn't work out how you wanted it to, and hope your PMA & zest for life returns soon, big hugs.

MeandO

Thank you for the virtual hugs, DFW321, you don't know how much I needed them. I hope my DS sees sense with regards to the injuries he is picking up and what it could mean for his future, but I very much doubt it. He seems to do everything his father wants him to do. This evening I'm feeling like giving up tbh. DS wants to defy the Dr's advice (again) about training and competing this week. I have this argument from him every time he gets injured which is why I always ask the medic to repeat themselves a few times so that there can be no disagreement over what has been said, but as expected, there has been tonight and his attitude and behaviour towards me has just been rotten. I had to resort to phoning the ex and asking him to speak to him as I know he wont speak to his father with the same disrespect as he does to me. On this occasion, the ex agreed with what I was saying and told DS so. DS didn't challenge him, took the instruction from him immediately and gave him no attitude whatsoever. It's a real kick in the teeth tbh. I feel like DS has no respect for me or what I say until he wants something. I feel awful saying that as he is a good, kind, caring kid who was joined at the hip with me until not so long ago, but he has absolutely no respect for me or my opinions at all. I feel utterly bereft that it's got this bad. I'm in floods of tears and I really feel like giving up. He's now spending the evening trying to avoid me in the house after eating tea in silence, other than to make a massive fuss about the 3 halves of cashew nuts in the chinese chicken dish I made him as I know he likes it. I have come upstairs so he has gone downstairs. I can't even bring myself to phone my parents tonight as I usually do  for fear of breaking down on the phone to them, which is the last thing I want to do. So much for my new found PMA eh? 

It's been a rubbish day on the whole tbh. I had difficult clients at work, a neighbour called in who is lovely, but always talks for hours about people I don't know as if I know them and 2 hours later I had to politely tell her I had a meeting to work. When you WFH, people seem to think you're free to chat. Another (needy) friend/ex neighbour is always asking to come over when I am WFH, she turned up a couple of times and sat and talked at me for hours about her problems. I have tried to distance myself from this 'friend' as it was always very one way and she drained me. I feel bad, but I always felt so down and miserable after being with her.

To end on a positive, I have managed to get two loads of washing done, the house hoovered through, lawns cut, dishwasher unstacked, stacked and on again and I've given the kitchen floor a quick clean and wiped the lower cupboard doors down.
I've received notification of a £268.05 refund in the way from the last energy provider so that will go in the house pot for future bills. Shame I can't splurge it on something nice, I could do with a boost but know it will only make me feel worse to waste money in the long run and have no idea what I'd spend it on anyway. Perhaps counselling, or a one-way ticket somewhere... wouldn't get me very far though would it.

debtfreewannabe321

Aw @MeandO I am so sorry. Reading your post sounds like an echo of my diary. I am only a year or so ahead of you my son was the same as yours, joined at my hip, my best buddy all the way up to around puberty (13/14) and all of a sudden he turned on me, ignored me, treated me like a stranger unless he wanted something. I have cried so many tears, asked myself a thousand times, where did I go wrong, what should I have done, and I have no answers to help you ((sorry)). 
I think when the refund comes in you should at the very least round it down to £250 and spend the £18 odd on a little treat for YOU. No one else, but you. 
You have the same problem as me at setting boundaries with people (friends and neighbours spring to mind but also family with me) and I think it might time for us both to start saying to people, I can't talk right now. No sorry, no excuses, or reasons. People who are understanding should get this but those who are just zapping you will be the angry ones or the ones who will drop off the radar (most of my family have done this once I started doing it). I think this would have added to your mental/ emotional overload today spending that long on the phone to the neighbour after DS exchange and bad day at work. 🫂

Smudgeismydog

I felt I had to post as my son was also very difficult at 14/15, after us being close when he was younger. I felt he treated me like a doormat, and in fact didn’t really speak to me during this time, I only had monosyllabic grumbles.

I was widowed when he was 4, so no ex to contend with, so don’t feel I can comment on that, except to say your situation sounds tough, and I’m really sorry you are having such a hard time.

The only words of comfort I can offer, is that my son did come out the other side, and we regained our close bond, in fact he told me his friends in school called him a ‘mummy’s boy’, as I was the one he’d want to tell first if he had any news. You are consistent in your parenting, you are always there for him and put him first, hold tight, you are doing a great job, and he will come to understand and recognise this. 

Sending hugs 🤗

Mrs_Money_Penny

Aww sending hugs.The teenage years are tough for us Mums. He only lashes out at you as you are always there for him so take the brunt of it. It will pass eventually. Your a super mum don’t forget that ever. xx

Newstartforme

So sorry you have had a hard time recently Meando, sending you the biggest cuddle , I know how rubbish you must be feeling . You have done absolutely nothing wrong , you do your utmost for your boy on a daily basis . I truly hope he gets through this tough time and things improve soon . We have all said he will see through your ex but that's cold comfort to you at present.  Sending best wishes and hope DS injury heals very soon xx