Wish I hadn't seen

So I'm no doubt going to get flamed for this post and probably rightly so, but here goes.

Firstly for the past 10 years or so, I've been laser focussed on pension saving. Its been my thing and frankly it gives me a lot of pleasure to feel I'm making my own way.

So I popped into my parents house to find something needed for a delivery. In doing so I came across their latest pension statement by accident. The summary shows they have a DC at the LTA. They also have a 700k house mortgage free.

They are both in their mid 70's in excellent health and really enjoying their retirement but their spending isn't excessive. They buy what they want and holiday when they want. I'm very happy for them. It's a relief to not have to worry about your parents.

But here's the rub. They have an including the pension, they have an estate of 1.7-2m. There's only myself and one sibling. Im sure they will have some other disbursements they want to make and perhaps Jeremy Hunt will change the rules and take a bite out of it, perhaps (although I hope not, care home costs will take a chunk in future) but I suddenly feel a big chunk of my purpose has been lost. I've always viewed my being careful with money as a way of ensuring a comfortable retirement for my wife and to be able to give my children a start.

I am beginning to understand how lottery winners often feel when they come into money or perhaps even how retirees sometimes feel when suddenly they don't have that important job to strive at.

Now I recognise this is a ridiculously first world problem to have and this post is not about eliciting sympathy (As of course none is due or needed).

It strikes me that this particular forum is the most likely on to give a sensible view as there are many people on here who have hit the financial comfort zone and perhaps some on here who understand what it is to lose purpose after retiring. I am interested to here how they deal with focus and motivation once you realise your long term goal has effectively been hit.



  • CusCus Forumite
    433 Posts
    Third Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Do you have kids? Was your purpose to save for their long term future (via your will) or to save for your own retirement only?
  • edited 17 February at 2:02PM
    Pat38493Pat38493 Forumite
    984 Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 17 February at 2:02PM
    I see your point - however personally I would prefer not to count on anything in terms of inheritance due to unknown factors like potential care costs.

    Also on the other side, for all you know they have other DC pots as well - you have only seen one document randomly?

    Unless you have discussed your retirement planning with them and they have told you not to save so much as they are going to give you a lot, I would just ignore that aspect if I was you.

    Also you don't state your age, but you might need your pot long before both of them are passed away.
    If you enjoy saving and investing, and you end up knowing that you have a lot more than you need for whatever reason, you could still continue it but use the money for altruistic purposes I guess.

    It's easier for me to ignore this aspect because my parents are divorced and re-married and my father already died last year, so I have even less reason to count on future inheritances.  I wouldn't be surprised if they have similar amounts floating around, but my assumption is that I'll get nothing and anything beyond that is a future bonus (which possibly would be passed to the kids anyway).
  • newatcnewatc Forumite
    764 Posts
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper
    Your parents are of similar age and wealth status to us. Hope our children won't take the same view. They will, I hope, receive a helpful sum when we go but who knows, there are no guarantees and our well being and comfort will come first (unless they had a pressing need). 
  • WorkerdroneWorkerdrone Forumite
    310 Posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Have you actually seen their wills or any you making assumptions 😳
    I wouldn't say assumptions. There have been a number of comments made in the past that would indicate their intentions. I know they intend to update theirs, they never seem to get round to doing it and its something of a running joke in our immediate family, but I do know there are a couple of people they would like to look after and that's not reflected in their current will. Thing is, if they are no longer around tomorrow, I have no clear instructions on exactly who they want looking after or what looking after looks like.
  • noclafnoclaf Forumite
    796 Posts
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper
    My take is make no assumptions on what your parents will do with their wealth and hopefully you are taking notes as it seems whatever they did and/or didn't do has left them in a good spot financially...might be a case of 'rinse and repeat' for whatever did work quite well to build their wealth!
     (Not including any wealth passed down as we have no control over that and all in different/unique situations and circumstances).
  • WorkerdroneWorkerdrone Forumite
    310 Posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Cus said:
    Do you have kids? Was your purpose to save for their long term future (via your will) or to save for your own retirement only?
    Yes 2, My long term goal was to have a decent retirement, make gifts as I go and leave them a decent amount outside of IHT (If that's still a thing by then)
  • WorkerdroneWorkerdrone Forumite
    310 Posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    It does not seem that your parents have lost purpose as them would appear to be enjoying retirement. Their net worth gives them security whatever life throws at them. If they can no longer drive they can hire taxis, if they can no longer manage the garden or house work, they can pay someone to do it, if they ever need care they can afford the best available or  live in carers.
    Oh I know they haven't lost purpose. They're very much enjoying retirement. My post was more about me feeling I've lost purpose, or at least I need to seriously rethink my goals as there's a chance my retirement might not be as "self made" as I'd wanted it to be.
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