Progress not Perfection

Humdinger1

@Sun_Addict you are quite right to point all this out! Sorry to be blunt, but what's your plan for keeping sane and managing unreasonable expectations?  I know you will have a plan! Do you want to retire fully? Full of admiration for you as ever love Humdinger xx 

beanielou

Enjoy meeting your friends tomorrow. 

Sun_Addict

Humdinger1 said:

@Sun_Addict you are quite right to point all this out! Sorry to be blunt, but what's your plan for keeping sane and managing unreasonable expectations?  I know you will have a plan! Do you want to retire fully? Full of admiration for you as ever love Humdinger xx 

I do plan to fully retire, I'll have been working for over 50 years by the time I retire, mostly full time, and have quite frankly had enough. I keep sowing the seed that I will be meeting friends, possibly joining U3A, going to the gym and going shopping etc without him so he gets used to the idea. This might sound awful but to be honest I would never have expected him to still be here by the time I retired, his prognosis was up to 10 years, it's been 12 so looking quite likely that he will be. 

foxgloves

I think that's a really sensible approach, @Sun_Addict. If you keep throwing into the conversation that you have various plans for after your retirement, Mr SA can begin to get used to them even if he doesn't like them. You're not saying you won't do anything with him, just that it won't be every minute of every day, so as long as you fit in a couple of the things he likes to do each week....maybe going out for a coffee, an occasional lunch out, a garden centre or supermarket, then I think you should feel perfectly entitled to spend plenty of time with new post-retirement activities for yourself. I think you would go doolally spending every day at home after so many years working, as well as all your walking. I do think Mr SA would also benefit from an activity of his own with other chaps his age too, so as to have more variety in his week, but I think you said you have suggested this & it didn't come to anything, I can't remember.
F

RelievedSheff

Enjoy your drinks with friends. You deserve them!

Sun_Addict

foxgloves said:

I think that's a really sensible approach, @Sun_Addict. If you keep throwing into the conversation that you have various plans for after your retirement, Mr SA can begin to get used to them even if he doesn't like them. You're not saying you won't do anything with him, just that it won't be every minute of every day, so as long as you fit in a couple of the things he likes to do each week....maybe going out for a coffee, an occasional lunch out, a garden centre or supermarket, then I think you should feel perfectly entitled to spend plenty of time with new post-retirement activities for yourself. I think you would go doolally spending every day at home after so many years working, as well as all your walking. I do think Mr SA would also benefit from an activity of his own with other chaps his age too, so as to have more variety in his week, but I think you said you have suggested this & it didn't come to anything, I can't remember.
F

Social Services offered to pick him and and bring him back from various support groups and he refused. He also went to Men in Sheds and only stayed 10 minutes before declaring it wasn't his thing. He enjoys talking to other men such as the window cleaner and when workmen are here so he's not entirely anti-social but socialising isn't his strong point, never has been. It's such a shame he hasn't kept in contact with his old friends. 

Baileys_Babe

I'm glad to hear you have post retirement plans, make sure DD is also aware of plans.

When you get closer to retirement start reinforcing your plans with things like "this time in X weeks I will be doing y, I can't wait".

Another couple of ideas to add to your list are a book group - some local libraries host them - and day trips either by yourself or with friends. 

Sun_Addict

I can't believe how warm it is outside! Had to take my coat off when we went to Lid!. It was an ideal time to go as it wasn't busy at all and they'd had chance to stock up with the special offers, which they sometimes haven't if you go when it first opens. I got a few garden bits including a long handled weed remover, hopefully it works as will save me getting on my hands and knees if it does. Also picked up the dishwashing items on offer while Mr SA was there with the scooter as dishwasher salt is so heavy and Mr M online only seem to have the expensive branded one in stock just lately. I was going round the store thinking about what's heavy that I need in the next couple of weeks 😆

milann

It’s been a beautiful day. I took my coat off too on my walk home. We did get rain at teatime though. 

Pleased to hear you’re planting the seeds that you’ll be doing some things on your own.

Sun_Addict

Happy Friday everyone 🥳

Day off today and enjoying a leisurely breakfast before heading off to the city centre for a coffee and a bit of shopping before meeting my friends for lunch. It will be quite a spendy day as the restaurant we’re going to isn’t cheap but it’s somewhere I’ve been wanting to go to for a while, it does look lovely inside. I’ve allocated some money to myself for today so it’s all covered. 

Mr SA was grumbling again last night when he realised I was taking today off and not going straight from work. He wanted to know why, it was question after question. Told him I don’t want to have to take my work stuff to the restaurant and for the short time I’d be at work it’s not worth it. Plus I want to potter round the shops and not rush. How dare I take a whole day off 😐

Then he got up to go to the toilet and didn’t quite make it. So there I was at 9pm scrubbing the 💩 stains out of the landing carpet on my hands and knees then cleaning the bathroom 😞

All I could say to him was now tell me you begrudge me my lunch out tomorrow. 

I’m going to make him call the doctors for an appointment as his bowel problems aren’t normal. He’s gone down this road before though and got to the stage of a camera appointment which he refused. 

Anyway I’m not going to let that spoil my day. I’m very much looking forward to catching up with my friends and being me for a few hours.