Debt free and staying that way while I re-evaluate life and keep blood sugar levels down

Humdinger1

@FreetodoasIlike please don't apologise! Our early experiences deffo shape our attitudes to money znd it's fascinating.   I do a bit of voluntary debt coaching and do find that the defining moment, when people really see what's going on is when they realise that they don't have to try to impress anyone  - not even themselves- by spending...especially as it's not usually their money.  We have 1 car on the drive, a flashy Ford Fiesta; we are free because we can decide that we want to go out for a walk without the spectre of debt pinning us to our desks.  My DH is semi-retired and now the mortgage is gone we can walk for hours with the dog, sometimes even having lunch out.  Simple pleasures.  Please feel free to talk about your life any time.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

redofromstart

I laughed so much at your post on @EssexHebridean diary that I came to find yours.
 Posting so I can follow.

redofromstart

Last time I touched spirits was during Euro 96, and yes the hangover was That Bad. 

Humdinger1

Thanks again @redofromstart! I am so thrilled that the authors of so many diaries that I follow have found mine. This is a fab community.  Xx

redofromstart

I found that because I had been commenting on other peoples diaries, they paid me a courtesy visit, and it snowballs from there. I haven't got a lot of free time these days (hurrah for £ but boo for socials) but I have always found the comments of others so helpful and motivating even if they don't quite match my mindset.

enthusiasticsaver

Some interesting comments so far on this diary.  I am a  little older as born in 1960 so 62 now but probably do not fit the mould on here in that I never had debt.  I am a  trained debt counsellor so that is why I came on here and volunteered as ambassador on the DFW boards and have counselled many in mortgage arrears or having unsecured debt problems. 

Two reasons for me never having have debt. 

My dad drummed it into me from a  young age that beyond a mortgage any unsecured debt should only be taken out for a very good reason.  So a car to get to work was ok so long as I did not over commit but putting a holiday on credit wasn't. A little voice always went off in my head whenever I considered spending on plastic and as he died fairly young (younger than I am now) it became his legacy to me.  

The second reason was my first job after leaving college was in a bank and in those days it was a disciplinary offence to mismanage finances or be overdrawn, have a cheque bounce or whatever. Not sure if that is still the case as I left banking over 20 years ago after they went crazy lending money to all and sundry and then left it to us to pick up the pieces when people could not repay their mortgages. 

I can totally see though in todays culture of fairly easy money how simple it is to get into debt and how hard it is to climb out of that pit and am constantly in awe of people who manage to turn their attitude to finances around many of which have diaries on here. 

I totally agree that turning your back on the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality helps in keeping finances on track.  I also battled with a DH who thought that if banks lend money then they obviously think we can easily repay it so it is ok to borrow whatever until I convinced him banks lend for profit first and foremost and their sole objective is to make money out of us.  I take a pride in not succumbing to this and we have saved a fortune in interest in not going down that route.   

Humdinger1

Thanks @enthusiasticsaver.  I think the scales dropping from our eyes re 'the financial establishment' is a big part of getting out of debt.  Most banks chucked away a lot of institutional memory as well as any claim to ethical operations when they trashed the model of lending to known customers who had a relationship with a local manager.  I remember busking at Christmas in 1982 my first year as a student; I paid all my cash (£40) into the local bank to clear my overdraft.   The bank manager appeared, shook my hand, and congratulated me saying that I'd made more money than he had that day.  Not long after that, there were no named managers for your average punter.  That marked the change I think from viewing us as people to economic units to be exploited.  One of the things I see when debt coaching is people equate their value as humans with that of their possessions, though can you call them that when they aren't yet paid for? I am often the first person ever to suggest that they have an intrinsic value as a human unconnected to their net worth, or lack of it. 

QueenJess

I find it interesting that other European countries (can’t remember which sorry, but it was another poster on the forum who mentioned it) use debit cards regularly day to day as the norm. It is unusual to use credit cards. We seem to have evolved as a society where credit card payments are the norm for everything. I pay mine off in full on each month, but I do use the credit card for everything. That is because I am incentivised to do so through cash back/points etc though.

I wonder if you made it more expensive to pay by credit card (or passed the transaction fee direct to consumers on a transaction by transaction basis?) whether this trend would reverse. Cultural shifts are slow, but possible and could save a lot of people from falling into a debt hole in the first place. But of course that will never happen as it won’t be in the interests of the businesses getting rich this way.

enthusiasticsaver

There has been a cultural shift from paying by cash or cheque to plastic over the last few decades. I am not sure how or if it will or should be reversed as for the most part it is convenient. I use Apple Pay for most things these days because all my cards are in one place and I can spend from different pots depending on whether it is a personal spend, joint spend or car expense or holiday deposit or whatever. I use our current accounts for 95% of spending because having a big credit card bill to pay on top of other bills makes me uneasy. The small amount of cash back isn’t enough to persuade me to change my habits although I appreciate it can add up to a considerable amount. 

Do people use credit cards rather than debit for cash back etc or because they don’t have to think about how much is in the account and is it enough to cover the spend? In other words buying time to work out if it is affordable? 

foxgloves

Interesting debate on here this morning, to which I'm adding while on my coffee break.
Yes, personal customers & named bank managers. I'm sure I told this tale ages ago on my first DFW diary, but it is a good example. I also  started my first degree course in 1982. By the end of Spring term 1983, I was in overdraft (yes, the one which lasted for nigh on 24 years!). I kept spending & was soon in unofficial overdraft as I'd surpassed my limit & needed to extend it. This involved a formal appointment with Mr Jenkins, the branch manager. He took me into his office & buzzed through to ask for copies of my last few statements to be brought. This sticks in my mind partly because I had a horrendous cold at the time & actually sat there with a loo roll in my lap! He looked at my statements & said "Hmmmm, you do alright for a short while, then you seem to go mad'. He told me my spending patterns were very erratic.. I sat there like a poorly snot.monster & practically had to beg for an overdraft extension. I got one, but he made it clear it was the bank's money. I found the experience humiliating...but not sufficiently so to trigger an LBM at 19 instead of 43. 
Four years later, I remember being home for a few days. My Mum went to answer the phone & I heard her say "Is that Mr Jenkins? Yes, that's my younger daughter. She'll be home next week. I'll tell her to telephone you & make an appointment". That was 4 or 5 years later, but still the norm to have to arrange overdrafts/extensions with the branch manager, as both my sister & I found out! In fact I laughed at my sister & said that at least Mr Jenkins had never phoned me at home!
With hindsight, I kind of wish he hadn't agreed the extra overdraft as a serious financial crunch might have scared me into bucking my ideas up.
Different times.
F