2023 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN Mrs SD

Dfw38

Half way through sorting my bedroom after 2nd dds misbehaviour and I have discovered she has been rummaging and has bent my wedding tiara in half and it is beyond repair. Words fail me to be honest.

Brie

TC77 said:

@daisy_1571 thanks for the link, worryingly I had to answer no to most. Really need a shift in mindset! 

It's the next 2 that are what I need....(copy and paste is changing the numbering - sorry....)

1. Do I love and adore this item? And be honest with yourself… you don’t love and adore every item equally. If you don’t love it – get rid of it.
2. Is it sentimental? If it is, am I keeping it in good condition? 

The "do I love it" bit is very much whatshername Kwando?  I've picked up a lot of things and thought "meh" so that makes it easier to shift along to someone else.

Sentimental is more difficult because that becomes so emotional.  I've been waffling about a bag I've found full of a half done cushion cover.  My mom bought it in Madeira when she, dad and I went there in 1986.  The middle bit was already done and it's just the easy bit, the solid background, that needs completing.  Mom had it for about 5 or so years and then gave it to me as she knew she wasn't going to complete it.  I went out and bought the yarn and needles required and put it in the bag ready to do at some point prior to moving. Moving twice in Canada, once to the UK and twice since then.  And here we are in 2023 and it's no different from when it was first bought in Madeira.  But every time I pick it up I remember that trip.  And so I keep moving it with me. 

I've found it again and I'm taking it when I meet a friend next week and I'm going to ask if she wants it, or maybe just wants to complete it - even if it means that the black wool with get a bit tangled up with the white and orange hair from her cat.  How she replies will get me one step further along me journey with this bit of memory.

As for keeping something sentimental in good condition.....I've been eyeing up the sheepskin bunny (Mr BunBun) from my childhood.  Did I play with it as a child?  No idea.  But I latched on to it in my 20s and again it's moved around with me.  But it's definitely falling apart.  No right minded parent would want it now for a young child so I can't imagine anyone will have it after me.  So why do I keep it when it's obviously leaking stuffing, impossible to clean or repair (I've tried)?  Again - very emotional.  If I get rid of Mr BunBun then the OH should get rid of bear that was made whole again by his mom knitting him a jumper that matched the cricket one the OH used to wear.  Again - emotions will rule on this one.

Floss

Dfw38 said:

Half way through sorting my bedroom after 2nd dds misbehaviour and I have discovered she has been rummaging and has bent my wedding tiara in half and it is beyond repair. Words fail me to be honest.

Big hugs hun xx

I think you should show how upset and disappointed you are, and say that you will deal with the purposeful damage when you have calmed down, but SHE HAS NOT GOT AWAY WITH IT. Also, maybe your DH could express his disappointment at her behaviour too?

Floss

Brie, could Mr BunBun and Bear be tucked up in acid-free paper in a nice box? I still have my duck & my boys each have their childhood cuddly, as does my elder brother age 63!

oceanspirit

The emotional items are more difficult to let go.  I would keep them until you are ready to let them go.  Decluttering seems to take place in rounds - it is an ongoing journey for lots of us and I have found it better for me to keep things and reassess next time I look at a particular area and move on to getting rid of other easier things first.  I know some of the professionals say to make quick decisions and only handle things once, but I don’t think that method works for everyone.  The slow and steady works better for me.

Emptied a couple of boxes from the living room; some things put away, some things binned/recycled and a couple of things need to be repaired.  OH has moved a lot of his things out too.  A trolley load of books will go into bedroom tomorrow morning whilst the work is being done then back into living room to be sorted through another day - there are other things with a higher priority to be dealt with in the coming weeks.

TC77

I think keeping sentimental things is fine as long as they aren't causing upset/ distress by taking up too.much stuff. If they are and want to keep is there something else that can go? 
I struggle with it could be useful sometime? 

Muddy_Walker

DFW - I feel devastated for you. I have nothing helpful to suggest as I don’t have children. Does this behaviour happen often? 😢 big hugs xxxx
this week has flown past - health has been up and down but hubby is back from Boston yay! 

After 2 hours (2!!!!!) I had to go into the office today as internet provider was playing up. I tried everything I know to log on (admittedly not very much) and was then onto the help desk.he tried many things - still nothing although I think I may have taught him some new swear words…😉
NNB was wonderful and told me to take my time driving in. So much better than “your internet is always playing up” - no it isn’t and “you’ll have to come in”.
did some deadheading and have decided I am not going to attempt sweet peas next year as they’ve been utterly munched (a caterpillar actually looked at me the cheeky beast). Dog2 has flattened some raspberry canes and his tail has flattened my lavender.😳😳
Cheese sarnie for tea and some maltesers. nom xx

Florenceem

Mr F has mentioned his old Noki. phone three times now - it is long gone.
We went to lock up at SA - he wanted to do more sorting of recycling than I did - I wanted to get home. We set off and got half way home when he said - I don't have my stick - so it was back - deactivate the alarm and get his stick then lock up again.
I have not been enjoying my sewing today - I think this new make may be a one off.

Floss

Florenceem I wonder if MrF needs a new hobby, so he is occupied & engaged rather than getting over-enthusiastic about sorting recycling or fretting about his old phone.

Dfw38

Thank you Floss. I have followed your advice and will sleep on what happened tonight. The anger fuelled me to do a 6 mile walk/run. Dh didn't even bat an eyelid when I told him which to be honest really hurt. 
I picked the tiara out with my mum (was one of the few things we did together for the wedding) and was hoping to pass it on to my girls (if.they wanted it obviously) if and when they got married. It was in a safe place and wasn't left to hand - opportunity was taken when I was downstairs organising stuff for our holiday. To be honest I don't feel like going on holiday now. 
Thank you Muddy_walker, no doesn't happen at all really. The annoying thing is that she knows it is really special and we need to be careful but it was just treated as though it didn't matter (i know that a 5 year old would have different views on importance etc) I am hoping I will feel better about it in the morning. 😪