Prosperous soul, mortgage neutrality & creativity Year 2

KajiKita

18 people in one house does sound a bit oppressive and overwhelming to me too. Could you do some research and look for a local cafe or garden centre to escape to early if you really need a break? 

Sending supportive vibes for this. 

It does sound like all your efforts are catching up with you, but it’s not surprising considering how hard you worked to stage the house, for so long. You are allowed to feel a bit flat 😉 

FWIW, I had a beautiful garden (brought loads of wildlife in, something in flower most of the year) at our last house that I never sat out in due to being overlooked and noisy neighbours (drunken barbecues) and that made me feel quite trapped. The garden just became a chore. 

Since moving we are barely overlooked and the difference is huge for me. If you are sensitive to this, some people are, some aren’t, then it matters and it will always matter. 

If you don’t get chance to move this year, definitely look at options for privacy screening - it will make a huge difference to your sense of ‘psychic-safety’ (sorry, this is a very woo-woo description but I don’t know how else to describe it) and therefore your ability to relax and enjoy your space. 

KK

lucielle

You could look at acoustic fencing, expensive but aids noise reduction. Hope the gathering of the clans goes better than expected. 

L

skint_spice

Hope your day goes well🙏

WelshmansDaughter

It sounds like you are swapping safety nets tbh, like you want to move but you can only do it if you have the comfort of what you already know. 
It might be an idea to go back to the area(s) you like but look at different types of houses. As an experiment, look at the cheapest/smallest etc. 

DancingInTheRain

Hope today goes well x

mark55man

good luck with everything.  you are allowed to have a few off days where surviving is the goal and also an achievement

jwil

I'm just catching up, lots going on!

I hope today's event goes as well as it can and hope work calms down for you a bit soon.

Good luck with the new meds, hope they make a difference.

savingholmes

KajiKita said:

18 people in one house does sound a bit oppressive and overwhelming to me too. ...

It does sound like all your efforts are catching up with you, but it’s not surprising considering how hard you worked to stage the house, for so long. You are allowed to feel a bit flat 😉 

FWIW, I had a beautiful garden (brought loads of wildlife in, something in flower most of the year) at our last house that I never sat out in due to being overlooked and noisy neighbours (drunken barbecues) and that made me feel quite trapped. The garden just became a chore. 

Since moving we are barely overlooked and the difference is huge for me. If you are sensitive to this, some people are, some aren’t, then it matters and it will always matter. 

If you don’t get chance to move this year, definitely look at options for privacy screening - it will make a huge difference to your sense of ‘psychic-safety’ (sorry, this is a very woo-woo description but I don’t know how else to describe it) and therefore your ability to relax and enjoy your space. 

KK

Thanks KK - I went with BIL to a shop and while he refuelled - that gave me a much needed break and went for a brief walk with one sister.

I think it's a combination of work being super busy over the summer when it's normally quiet, the house, and changes with DD too.

Thanks for sharing about the garden. I am sensitive to this... so yeah it needs to be a priority.

If I stay I need to invest in some see through blinds - so I can see out but its harder for others to see in. I might look out for some tall screening evergreens too. It feel reassuring that someone else 'gets' it.

savingholmes

lucielle said:

You could look at acoustic fencing, expensive but aids noise reduction. Hope the gathering of the clans goes better than expected. 

L

Thanks I might consider that if I move - but this person shouts from her upstairs windows so that wouldn't help with her!!

skint_spice said:

Hope your day goes well🙏

It went reasonably well but I way out of the house about 12 hours - for less than 6 hours there so a lot of driving, traffic and stress too. 

WelshmansDaughter said:

It sounds like you are swapping safety nets tbh, like you want to move but you can only do it if you have the comfort of what you already know. 
It might be an idea to go back to the area(s) you like but look at different types of houses. As an experiment, look at the cheapest/smallest etc. 

Thanks WD. I have considered smaller houses but they tend to be closer together and therefore noisier so unlikely to help. I am considering going for a cottage holiday again in a couple of months to remind myself that I don't need all the space I currently have.

DancingInTheRain said:

Hope today goes well x

Thanks Dancing. 5 people didn't turn up so that made it a lot easier!

savingholmes

mark55man said:

good luck with everything.  you are allowed to have a few off days where surviving is the goal and also an achievement

Thanks Mark. It's one of those things - you have to do the family stuff as part of having a support network but that doesn't make it easy for someone like me. I'll hopefully rest up tomorrow.

jwil said:

I'm just catching up, lots going on!

I hope today's event goes as well as it can and hope work calms down for you a bit soon.

Good luck with the new meds, hope they make a difference.

Thanks Jwil. It mostly went well - aided by a third of the people not attending The BF coped brilliantly. The worst bit was fighting my way across a city 4 miles to drop DS at an unfamiliar train station. It was horrific in terms of gridlocked traffic and I don't plan to ever return there!!!

DS has agreed to come and see me in September after his mini trip abroad.