Diary of a 30-something idiot

foxandflowers

Morning friends.

I think I might start job hunting. There is a job in the Pensions department that is a paygrade above mine, and actually seems to be more straightforward than what I do on a daily basis. I have really lost my confidence in my job and it is showing. I don't want to be bad at my job. I want to be good at it, and go to work every day and feel like I understand what is expected of me and what my capabilities are. This is the longest I've gone without job hopping, but instead of work getting easier, it's getting harder every day and I am tired. That's the real truth I think. I'm tired, and I think we need more people on our team to lighten the pressure we are facing, and we are not going to get more people. I don't want to leave the council, because the benefits are pretty fab, but I don't want to be so exhausted every day. Two of us are doing the work of four people, and mistakes are being made. And one of those two has an interview for a secondment on Monday, which would then mean everything would be on me. 

The only downside to this would mean three months training in the office every day, before returning to hybrid working. And I would miss working from home for three months. 

I suppose I can apply, and if I don't get it, then I'm no worse off. 

dawnybabes

Absolutely apply, yes it would be a pain going into the office for training  but once you get ‘tired’ in a job it’s hard to be untired ……

CMD79

dawnybabes said:

Absolutely apply, yes it would be a pain going into the office for training  but once you get ‘tired’ in a job it’s hard to be untired ……

Completely agree! When you feel like you're struggling along in a job, sometimes that fresh start feeling will really pick you up. And perhaps when you go in full time, that could be a catalyst to open the conversation about who does what at home to try to bring some balance. x

Chemtrails

I say go for it! A change can be as good as a rest. It sounds like the current job is unsustainable long term if you are going to be expected to do the work of 4 people. Good luck!

wildheart83

You've absolutely nothing to lose by looking at what else is out there.

I'm in agreement with dawnybabes, once you're in that mindset it's very difficult to keep giving the job 100%. I find (and I've had a looooot of jobs) that when I've mentally checked out of a job, even the bits I enjoy become a chore to do and it's time to move on. 

Debsnewbudget

Hi 
how are things going with you ? 

Sending hugs xx

SuzeQStan

Hey Fox xx miss seeing your posts coming up on the feed.

hope you are all ok and looking forward to holiday season xx big hugs

foxandflowers

Friends, Romans, Countrymen.... Sorry for my absence. I struggle a lot with December as a general concept and I haven't been feeling my best. The kitchen renovation is causing me enormous amounts of stress to the point that I almost wish I hadn't started it. We had to get a plasterer out, as the mini flood that occured when the floorboard nail went through the heating pipe when we re-did my office carpet has caused a lot of damage and unfortunately my pretty patterned ceiling was unsalvageable. So that was £850, and I am going to owe the actual kitchen fitter who is also building me an understairs cupboard and doing all the electrics about £1500... or my entire December payslip. Savings are officially gone.  And yet somehow, I continue to be an ostrich about it. I irritate myself beyond belief. 

I have a job interview on Thursday. I applied for the Pensions job, and somehow didn't balls up the personal statement so they want to see me. Downside is there is a maths test pre-interview, and because I am sickeningly stressed out I have done zero research. As it stands I am on the first rung of my pay spine, earning approx £24k (this will go up approx £500 PA in April). If I get this job it is an immediate £2k payrise, 3k in April... SO I want the job, for finances alone, because it would work out as an extra £100 a month after pensions and deductions. I do not want the job because it involves meeting lots of new people and learning lots of new things. ): 

I've been talking to Mr Fox about ethical consumption, and the purchasing cycle and lots of other things I find fascinating from an anthropological standpoint. And I've decided I am going to attempt a No Buy Year. I have cancelled all the non-essential subscriptions that I can (one more cycle of Amazon Prime, two more cycles of Sky Sports) and updated my budget. I have £38 left each month, if I stick to my budget. I have meal planned a fortnightly rotation of healthy, cheap and filling meals. I have set up a daily/weekly/monthly cleaning rota. I have joined the local sea swimming group (!!) and downloaded the c25k app, for free endorphins. I have joined a local bookclub, and set myself two reading challenges for fun. 

My word for the New Year is going to be reset. I want to reset my attachment to things, to living outside of my means, to seeking material happiness, to my phone addiction, to approaching adulthood like a chore instead of feeling very lucky that I am in the position I am in. It could always be worse. I want to be a financially responsible, healthy living, home baking, clean sheet having, tidy home enjoying actual adult, and I don't want to be a chaos goblin any more. It's my birthday on Friday. I don't want to reach this point next year and have done nothing to change my life. 

Fox is BACK.  

Debsnewbudget

Such a positive comment. 

Print it out and put it on your wall.
or the very least make Fox Is Back your phone screensaver.
have a good birthday on Friday

stymied

Yay! Great to have you back. Does that £38 improve once Prime and Sky Sports are gone? Hopefully that will leave you a little something to tuck away for fun days with your daughter. I'm rubbish when I try to make too many changes at once but am struggling on through c25k and attempting to reduce the amount of STUFF that we own. The New Year might be more about eating more healthily / continue with c25k but stick my head back in the sand with the decluttering. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.