Diary of a 30-something idiot

New_in_the_fens

Take care of yourself F&F. You are only one person and there is only so much you can do - please give yourself some grace ❤️

Your husband can sort the septic tank discussions and work out how to find the money for that and the van. Tell him it’s his problem to solve. 

You are doing so well - huge hugs 

JillyC8

Why so much expense on the car and van?

foxandflowers

Hi everyone. 

Sorry, long time without writing. 

We had the little dog put to sleep last Monday and things have been relatively downhill from there to be honest. The crematorium need paying upfront, and I can't afford to pay that until I get paid (and even then some bills will bounce) so I've been dodging their calls. 

Wednesday we had the septic tank repair. Over £1000 for two replacement pumps. I have 30 days to pay them, and I haven't even rung them yet. I will ring on Thursday when I get paid and make a token payment, and just have to pay the rest when we move.

I managed to sell my swimming pool and some of my furniture at ridiculously low prices. The van failed the MOT, which was always going to happen. Only, of course, we don't have the key for the locking wheel nuts. So I had to pay £60 to get the nuts welded off the van. And now I'm waiting on replacement bolts, or it still won't pass the MOT. Should be about £100 worth of work to get it through, but the engine light has gone OFF for the DPF, so they can't fail the MOT on that, which means it won't be fixed.

The state of my fridge is absolutely laughable. We have 3 of the kids with us at the moment, my daughters father is refusing to confirm if he will be having her over the holidays. I have a pack of ham, one potato, 3 red onions, some butter, half a pint of milk, and 3 protein yogurts. 

We made the decision to hire a car through Enterprise on Saturday morning through until Wednesday evening. It would have cost more to get public transport to/from Cardiff with all the kids than it did to hire the car. I deliberately did not go for the cheapest car, I went for the next level up because with the three kids, we need a 5 seater. Get there, have to wait an hour, and get presented with a bright orange Fiat 500. 4 seats. Essentially an orange bollock on wheels. We don't all fit in the ba$tard car. They tell me they have nothing else available, and that they will "see" if there is anything they can do. 

 I haven't been performing well at work because my concentration is just absolutely shot. ******** removing that last sentence. Sorry to worry you all. 

New_in_the_fens

Fox, I can’t ignore your last sentence. Please go and have a chat with your GP. They’ll fit you in if you tell them why. 

You are having a really tough time right now, but I can tell you really are trying to do the best you can despite these difficult circumstances. 

All these unsecured bills can wait. Your mental health is the most important thing. And it’s no wonder you are struggling at work with so much going on. 

Get your husband to find out how to access your local food bank and tell him to make that happen. 

Virtual hugs (even though they won’t specifically help, there are people here who care) ❤️

Debsnewbudget

Please take note of the above comments and get some help, there are a lot of us worried about you.
Great idea about foodbank 

Fortune_Smiles

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way Fox.  Please talk to somebody - none of us can navigate life without a little help from time to time. https://www.samaritans.org/

Fortune x

stymied

Sorry for your loss. Could you bury your little dog at home if the cremation hasn’t already gone ahead?

Put a complaint in to Enterprise - that was an unacceptable experience. Fingers crossed you can get some money back.

Will OH go door to door asking for odd jobs? Or the local pub?

Will work allow you to work full time from home until the van is mended, now that school’s out?

Do you have a Morrisons nearby for the free crumpets?

If you post on the old style board they can help with figuring out meals based on what you have in the house.

Silver lining-ish at least this puts paid to your OH vaping!

foxgloves

So sorry to hear how low you are feeling. Please do take the above advice & seek help. You are just juggling far too much stressful stuff atm without sufficient levels of support. We all need help sometimes. There's no shame in it.
F x

~FlowerPot~

Im really sorry to hear you are struggling, there is so much going on. Can you take a couple of days leave, either holiday or sick leave. You have so much going on and also having to grieve for you beloved dog ((hugs))

Do you have the olio app? there is often free food on there which might be helpful xx

wildheart83

Please talk to someone about how you're feeling.

It's not for you to shoulder the burden of every aspect of your home life when you have a more than capable husband at home to share that with. 
Get him to swallow his pride and find a foodbank to help tide you over. It might not be feasible but a community larder/kitchen might also help and look to see if there are any options for the little one to be looked after and fed whilst there.