Diary of a 30-something idiot

foxandflowers

Does anyone else ever just think, what is the point? 

I have limited pleasures. I spend all my time stressing out about my debt situation. I spend my evenings playing games to earn money on InboxPounds, or doing surveys. I have been chasing refunds, rebates, bill reductions, overpayments... you name it I've tried it. 

When I took this job, it was on the understanding that I'd be able to cover my bills. I didn't expect a cost of living crisis, I didn't anticipate everything going constantly wrong. And equally, at no point was I under the impression that this job would afford me a comfortable life, where I could afford everything I wanted at the drop of a hat, and was able to indulge my every whim. I can't remember the last time I had steak and a salad. I have been freezer diving for weeks, to the point that there is maybe one bags worth of food left in the chest freezer that was once full. 

My monthly 'joys' come from my audible subscription, which I share with my daughter. And I get my hair done every 3 months. So maybe £30 a month on selfish spends for myself, which I more than cover through surveys/app downloads/Vinted. I should have half my income 'spare' each month for food and fuel, and yet every b*rst*rd month, I end up on the bones of my a$s, scrabbling around for loose pennies in the bottom of my bag. And quite frankly, I am utterly, totally, completely f***ing fed up of it. 

Debsnewbudget

stay strong 
there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. X

WinterWarrior

It’s so tough. You do need equal shares in the fun money. Has your husband made any inroads into finding a job? Keep on at him, make sure it’s not lip service! Hopefully your move will free up some much needed income for day to day food and essentials.

in_need_of_direction

I’m sure absolutely everyone on here has had those thoughts. Maybe you should read back on your earlier diary entries just so you can see how much progress you’ve made. You really are doing so well. Hang in there and take care.

slm6002

Dont give up, without you doing all of those things it would be worse.  You have done really well tying up all those loose ends and getting refunds and money back.

You do need to remember that the 1 job alone will not support the entire household.  There needs to be a second income or less people to support.  You will eventually run out of things to sell.  I keep saying it but sign up for the benefits.  Log onto entitled to website and see what you can get.  Any entitlement could be the difference between you eating or missing meals.  Yes your OH may get a job in 3 months time, but in that space of time the benefits could tide you over.  They will soon stop if not entitled to them anymore.  If there are adult children living with you (sorry I cant remember if they are or just at weekends) they need to be looking for work too and contributing and not just the odd bit of housework.
It is time to get tough with everyone.

warby68

At the moment you're trying to fix the unfixable, no wonder you're sick to the back teeth.  There simply isn't enough money coming in for all the calls on it. Your wage is ok for you and your daughter but not for everyone else, even part time. 

Its the total household income  that really has to change before you can make headway and if OH still doesn't have any income then his 'perks' really should be where you look next for cuts to cover essential bills and make your life a little fairer. A few chores doesn't cut it.

You bring in ALL the money, do ALL the work (paid and unpaid) , carry ALL the debt and robbing Peter to pay Paul worries and have next to NOTHING for yourself. The dynamic simply isn't fair. I do not understand how your husband can stand by like this. The amount of money he took from you to grandstand at that festival was scandalous. Has he always been supported by other people? 

I know there are some huge behaviour patterns to deal with here for you and him but even a couple of babysteps will help.

foxandflowers

Payday today. 

Have to book the little dog into the vets as her face is swollen up, and ring to chase the solicitors, as our sellers rang the EA on Friday asking for an update, whereas the solicitor said they were waiting to hear back from them with their enquiries... I am so ready to move and not live this life any more. 

Budget from last month did not end well. I was £460 over target. 

Groceries was £213.67 over target
Holidays was £165 over target 
Husband smoking was £53.18 over target 
Eating out was £112.92 over target
Hair was £73.20 over target... (but this balances out as monthly savings of £20)
Shopping, entertainment, general... all over target.

So I am going to be adjusting my plans because it isn't working. I'm going to list my instant pot for sale tonight, and buy a slow cooker because I cannot get on with the instant pot. Meals will be cheap and cheerful. Chicken wings & sweetcorn fritters / jacket potatoes with tuna mayo & salad / spaghetti Bolognese / curry / pizza on Fridays / homemade macaroni cheese with pancetta cubes and crispy onions / and either pulled pork burgers or lasagne depending. I'm going to attempt and Aldi click and collect I think, because it should work out cheaper and we are less likely to be tempted if we don't go INSIDE the shop. And not shop hungry, because that's when all the miscellaneous snacks get added. Pizza and lasagne will have to get shuffled off the list when we move as there will be no oven. 

We have a mice problem in our attic, so everything had to be moved out of the attic and has now been put in the cabin in the garden to be sorted through. I think most of it will either be binned, or sold. 

This month we have the vet, the MOT and I have to redeem my pawnbroker loans (£355 to redeem, or 132.47 to roll over for another six months). And now maybe get an exterminator. I can't afford it. I just can't. I need to move. 

Once we have moved the first two things I will pay off are Mayglothling and the Council tax, which will put £80 a month back into the budget. Then I will set up £50 a month going into emergency savings instead. 

I need a change.

enthusiasticsaver

The majority of households in this country need 2 incomes to survive.  This is your biggest problem that your husband is not pulling his weight in bringing in money and costing you in terms of his smoking. He gets more personal spends than you do and he doesn't earn anything. 

Flossymuldoo

Shouldering the burden of being the household financial director is hard even when there’s enough money coming in. 

You seem to working on the assumption that all your problems will be solved when you move, but you will still have the problem that you’ve only
got 1 income so the opportunity for the debts to grow again is massive.

I know we’re all probably sounding like a broken record at this point but you need to stop funding your OH. You’re not in a position to be able afford his fun money.  If he wants fun and treats he needs to be contributing!

foxgloves

Yes, agree with above posters - there isn't sufficient money coming in to this household. Eating out & smoking are not essentials, but a £213 overspend on groceries implies either something went wrong & there were lots of unnecessary impulse buys, or the target amount wasn't realistic for the amount of people it needed to feed. 
Moving house may improve some matters - being closer to certain places & less travel, for instance, but the place also requires a lot of work from what you have said, so that is likely to more than eat up any locational savings. Your partner needs to work. He needs to find a job - anything, even minimum wage, NOW. Better paying employment can be found at a later date as it becomes available. Given that you have no mortgage, but still can't manage on one wage shows just how badly he needs to do this. I feel so sad for you that you are pawning & selling your possessions while he is still puffing away on the fags & not working. There is not enough money coming in. End of. This won't magically change when you move to a different house. You will just live in different house in a more convenient area, but will take the same basket of financial problems with you. Sorry this sounds, as others have said, like a broken record, but this is the problem. Yes, you might overspend certain budget targets now & again - we all do that occasionally even when we DO have a viable amount of money coming into the house - your household requires two incomes. I think all your diary followers want to help & to see much less of a burden on you, but there isn't any other solution. There is also no way on this earth I'd be seeing my hard-earned grocery budget money busted by over £200 while providing a non-working member of the household with fag money. Sorry - stuck record again, but I want things to be different for you, as we all do on here.
F