Diary of a 30-something idiot

foxandflowers

Hi friends.

Had some bad news from the Estate Agent, it looks as though the buyer hasn't actually sold his house, and is getting cold feet about purchasing mine Absolutely typical, that as soon as I start getting excited, it all goes wrong again. 

Got in from work yesterday and stepdaughter had tidied the room she shares with little one, hoovered, and emptied the dishwasher Husband asked if I would like it if he did things like that. DUH. Freezer dove for dinner, and had sausage, cheesy mash & peas with gravy. Not too shabby. I really need to sort out an inventory of the freezers. I have zero idea what is in there, aside from lots of frozen veg and raw dog food. I made sweetcorn fritters a little while ago to use up one of the three ?? bags of frozen sweetcorn we have, and they were very nice. Still need to sit down with the girls and come up with a pescatarian meal plan. Husband back on OMAD, and will be using up his freezer meals, so that is one person I don't need to buy for for a couple of weeks at least. I brought a homemade vegan smoothie with me to work - coconut yogurt from the coconut collab (amazing, honestly) strawberries, bananas, water and oats. I've been much more productive this morning for having had something to 'eat'. Am ravenous now though, and I wanted to do a NSD, but I am out of dog food pouches for the small dog, and need milk. Will walk a little further at lunch and go to Lidl, so at least it will be cheaper. 

In debt-busting news, I have had an email from BPO who have taken over my debt to Vodafone, so I will be able to ring Stepchange on lunch. Bad news is it's more than I thought - £398.95. And I had another email to say that when we sold the car, it turns out we owe the insurance £80.25, thanks to me being daft and not thinking to cancel it properly. So that will have to come out of my pay tomorrow. But I am making payment to Bumper tomorrow, and that will bring it down another £91.46. And my first direct debit to NS&I will go out tomorrow too, bringing my PB total to £75. Which is honestly more than I've ever had in savings in one go, that I have actually saved. I cancelled Virgin Wines as well. Honestly, I thought I had already done so, but instead I put it on pause for six months. Then they took a £15 payment, that I wasn't expecting. All cancelled now though, and I've had £60 back off them, which is fab. Had to buy some uniform for the little one - I know they say kids grow like weeds, but this is really getting out of hand. But I went to £land so it was a fiver. Woo. 

Last night I discovered on Audible that I had a credit to use - I share my subscription with the little one, she likes to listen to Harry Potter before bed. And instead of spending the credit, I had a little browse, and found that one of my favourite Philippa Gregory books Meridon was included in Audible membership, and so were the other two books in the trilogy that I haven't read yet. So I started listening to Wideacre last night, and eventually dozed off. It was written quite early in her authorly career, but I'm really enjoying it! I usually read heavy fantasy novels, or thrillers, but I just can't cope with them at the moment. I need all the fluff possible. So I have historical fluff on Audible, used my credit to buy the last HP book in the series resulting in a v happy 8 year old, and I picked up a Milly Johnson book from the Tesco free book section for reading on my lunch break, so I have physical book fluff too. Hurrah. 

Flossymuldoo

Loving the thought of ‘book fluff’ 

Debsnewbudget

Did you have a survey done?  If not, that is the best way to know what jobs need doing and in what order and what are just cosmetic.
I am only asking as you mentioned something about a crack in the gable wall, and that can be a sign of possible underpinning required,  not too big a job but better to be done before you even start on replacing windows.

foxandflowers

Flossymuldoo said:

Loving the thought of ‘book fluff’ 

Haha, its the marshmallow equivalent - probably not great for you, but light and fluffy and you don't have to think about it. 

Debsnewbudget said:

Did you have a survey done?  If not, that is the best way to know what jobs need doing and in what order and what are just cosmetic.
I am only asking as you mentioned something about a crack in the gable wall, and that can be a sign of possible underpinning required,  not too big a job but better to be done before you even start on replacing windows.

No survey as yet. I'm hoping to push for a level 3 survey though, I'd rather know ALL the ins and outs of what's wrong. Plus electrical survey. I have zero idea of what underpinning is, which shows how unprepared I am.
The crack appears to be between the join of the 'old' house and the 1970's concrete extension at the back. One of my concerns is if the crack has penetrated all the way through, because that will mean damp. 
 All a bit moot if the buyer pulls out, because it means we have to go back to the idea of the bridging loan. Which is 25k of interest in the course of a year, and I am REALLY reluctant to pay that. The estate agent is going to try and push marketing for our house and sort out a day of block viewings. So maybe that will amount to something. 

foxandflowers

Well, I have royally bleeped up. 

Was reading some diaries on here, and currently am reading/lurking on @Keedie's diary. She was talking early on about how she was making spreadsheets, and how colouring in a progress tracker was helping to motivate her. So I looked into doing the same thing (the debt-tris tracker is super cute!) but then realised I needed exact figures if I was going to be able to do it accurately. So I spent ages compiling lists of debts, amounts and reference numbers... and realised I am actually in a much worse position than I thought. I've paid off the water bill, the electrician, and the chimney sweep, but my numbers haven't actually gone down because I was working with estimates, not actual figures.

This then led to me talking to a colleague in the council tax dept, and they mentioned that I was incredibly lucky to not have received a summons to court for non payment of council tax. I owe £1680.72 to the council. And essentially I have until Friday to make a payment, or set up a direct debit for £400 a month, which I categorically cannot afford. And because it's the new tax year, it's sort of too late to make any kind of nominal repayments. 

My best friend has offered to lend me the money, but I already owe her £5.5k. And I will be repaying her every penny when the house sells, but I don't know if I can take another £1600 from her. 

Feeling very very stupid and stressed this morning. 

jusferbrowsing

Ring the Council office today. See what they can do to help you. Contact them even if its to say I'm going to struggle to pay this and give them a plan to what you can afford. You may not get good news but they will put a note on your file and this could hopefully prevent things escalating. I've been there and the council was pretty helpful. Good luck x

WinterWarrior

Personally I wouldn’t even consider a bridging loan. That’s a ridiculous amount of money to throw away. Isn’t it better to lose the house and find something else when yours sells than to take a big chunk out of the sale money for nothing? £25k is a really scary amount…and what if yours doesn’t sell in the year, or you have to knock the selling price down? 

Well done on the spreadsheets, it’s much better to know exactly where you are at 🌟

Baileys_Babe

I was about to write virtually the same as @WinterWarrior.

If you take a bridging loan and your house doesn't sell for 2 years that is FIFTY THOUSAND pounds in interest plus you will also have a house that needs masses doing to it and no money to do the work. You could end up with a house you can't sell and don't want to live in plus a house that you can't live in.

Please be willing to walk away from the house you like to avoid a bridging loan otherwise I fear you will be courting disaster.

MeandO

Hello foxandflowers

I'm going to say a few things that you may not like but please know it's with the best intentions.

I'm really worried about you buying this house. I know you say you'll have a large chunk of money left over to renovate, but I think you're under-estimating the cost of a full house and garden re-furb. I've just done the same on a small 3 bed semi and it's cost me in excess of £40K, that's without it needing a new kitchen and with me decorating/doing what I could myself and with help. The cost of materials and labour is now extortionate too and that's when you can actually get workmen to turn up! You will also need to pay for a survey, I'd say probably a structural engineer to look at the place, and other fees up front before you sell your house and you will lose this money if the sale and purchase doesn't go through.

I would also be very worried about the crack you've described as it sounds as if the extension is pulling away from the main house, perhaps requiring underpinning as someone else suggested. Underpinning is a massive structural job which is expensive. You really don't need that hassle, stress and expense and associated house insurance cost of that especially as you're taking on all of the responsibility of this alone. A house of that size will be a money pit and will cost a lot more to do up than you have available. I'd run in the opposition direction as fast as you can!

Sorry to be blunt, but a bridging loan is a terrible idea and you shouldn't even be considering it in your position. You can't afford it. There will be other houses, many probably more suitable and needing less work. You WILL be in a huge amount of debt before you've even started and I would have serious concerns that you could lose your home if things don't go to plan.

Lastly, I would also be really concerned about the loss of your assets - ie the house - if you and your husband ever part ways. It sounds like he puts very little into the relationship and everything comes from you. He has no motvation to get a job as he has everything he needs and wants supplied to him and his children via you. You need to make sure that, if the worse were to happen, he has no claim on your home. I believe he will have after so many years of marriage whether the house is in your name or not, but I'm no expert. You have so much going for you in that you own a house outright, you have a lovely daughter, a good job with a company who obviously value you - it is your home life that is dragging you down. Take it from someone who has been where you are and made the break. I love owning my own home (with the help of a mortgage!) and know that no-one else has a claim on that.

Please do think about what several people are saying here, everybody wants the best outcome for you, unfortunately I really don't think this house and your current arrangement is it. xx

Humdinger1

Yes @foxandflowers I know that you've previously said that you know what's going onnin your relationship and don't like people commenting on it.  While I agree completely with the above poster, I wonder what you can do to boost yourself? You are worth so much more and as someone who paid off £140,000 of combined business and personal debt I'm in no position to judge.  I just don't want to see you in deeper than you are. Love Humdinger xx