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Right.
Since my post this morning the forum now has a new text editor, so that's fun.
I put my big girl pants on and rang Mayglothling (unsecured, I don't currently have anything secured.) They've agreed to £35 a month repayments on Direct Debit, until the house sells, then clear the balance. I cried a lot, and it wasn't nice, but it is now done. And no bailiffs, or CCJs.
Well done for grabbing the bull by the horns and making the call. I always overthink what a conversation might be, and it's never been as bad as I've made up in my head 😂
Look after yourself - you've got a lot happening and a lot to think about, but I believe that all of us following you really do have your best interests at heart.
Well done on making the call. Not nice but much better to do that than to end up in even more of a mess that will need sorting out.
Also well done on being able to speak with OH. I know in the past you have said that he doesnt want to claim benefits but it might help until he finds work. Are his adult children that live with you working and contributing towards their rent with money and not just doing chores (although very helpful it doesnt pay the bills).
As for the house. If it goes before you sell yours it wasnt meant to be. A big no from me on bridging loans, would just be making the hole bigger for yourself. Have you still been looking for other properties in the area that would be suitable. You may find something better and even though you are not quite ready it would prove the right property is still out there for you.
We are all worried for you and would love to see you suceed. Listen to the advice and although it may not be what you want to hear, it is often given from experience so they know what could happen.
If this debt is unsecured there is little they can do. They will not go for court action for that amount so if you will struggle with that £35 a month then tell them you cannot afford it at the moment. The house sale has nothing to do with them and you do not have to clear it and the same applies for all other UNSECURED debts. CCJs and bailiffs usually only applies with secured debt and certainly not for that amount. These unscrupulous lenders are out to frighten you because they know they have little alternative if they want their money back.
I would also caution strongly against taking out a bridging loan to buy a house you seem to have fallen in love with but maybe will involve much more expense making it liveable than you anticipate or can afford. A bridging loan will also be a noose around your neck causing you further stress as you do not know when it will be repaid.
Well done, you should be very proud of yourself, that was a tough call to make but you did it.
@foxandflowers well done for 'The Chat'. It had to be done. Agree with everyone re bridging loan...it's like gambling; the only way you win in the long run is if you own the casino. We're all cheering you on love Humdinger xx
@foxandflowers - A big well done on having that 'Chat' with your partner. Mr F & I always worked (publc sector professionals) but as the austerity cuts started to bite deeper & yet another round of having to apply for our own jobs hoved into view, Mr F thought we should discuss if there were any benefits to me taking VR (I was by then part time, so financially the VR-taker could only be me). We knew this would involve a change of lifestyle but decided to go for it on the grounds that my time would be freed up to input into rhe household budget in orher ways. As soon as I was at home in the day, I took on all the daily running of the household - laundry, cleaning, meal planning, grocery/freezer audits, increased the amount of food grown in our garden, a bit of foraging, making gifts, preserving, baking our bread, etc, as well as putting a lot more time into the practicalities of running our household budget & increasing survey earnings to add to various savings pots or to augment our personal spends. While I definitely think your partner needs to be earning in order to get your debts paid down, I wanted to say that it IS possible for a no-longer-working partner to contribute positively to the household economy. As we got used to our new arrangements, we actually noticed very little difference in our lifestyle, except that it felt less pressured & we were able to spend our time together doing more meaningful stuff than chores. What ISN'T an option is not working & not contributing at all. That's living off somebody else's good will & can only really happen if there is no debt, preferably some savings for security & both partners are perfectly happy with the situation.
So I think you did well to have that difficult 'chat'. If your partner doesn't contribute anything of practical value to your domestic economy, then he is drain on it.
Another plea here not to be tempted by a bridging loan. I notice you awarded that option a 3/10. I actually think it's a minus 3 at best, esp as it would include the extra bit of borrowing (tax?) you mentioned. Also, as someone who bought a doer-upper in 2002, I can tell you from experience that renovations will cost vastly more than you anticipate. We only finished the work on our house this time last year, & that was only possible because I received an inheritance. You already have debt & do not have sufficient income to cover everything or you wouldn't still be borrowing from friends.
So do make any house buying decisions very carefully indeed. Your head needs ro be over-ruling your heart here, so that you don't end up in even more of a pickle.
Having now read through your diary, I won't deny that I feel worried about you. I do hope 'the chat' has at least resulted in some job hunting.
Take care & watch what every single penny of your money is doing.
F
