A Better Life.

Buffythedebtslayer

Am ok, having my sister here is hard, it is a lot to deal with for her as mum has declined considerably since she saw her last (4 years ago)  and this is a massive shock to see her like this. Also, like my mother she is judgmental and believes she should be free to voice her views on all things. Hugely critical on the first few days, very painful to go through after everything that has happened, very close to me just leaving them to it, but then yesterday she saw a more normal day and how things sort of get done seamlessly - as far as mum is concerned any how, she has no clue what I am doing but my sister watched me and was amazed at how I got stuff done. I was a little !!!!!! you !!!!!! frankly cos what did she think my weekends would be like??? so it isn't easy. In fact it has brought it home to me how little I am appreciated and how much I am taken for granted. Even she said that. Really quite a sad indictment of my family. How did I end up like this?? 

Also, I am skint. Buying the car has left me with very little breathing space and due to time constraints and stuff I need to do now whilst off,  I have borrowed money interest free (with a 3% fee) to pay off the cc and survive this holiday - I keep nipping out to the shops and driving round half the county just to get a break. It is also the only time I have to do the garden and the rabbits - rather buggered by the presence of my sister. 

It has brought home to me how ridiculous my life is and how even tho I think and believe I am doing the right thing by my mum others view me as an idiot to be taken advantage of. 

Even typing this feels risky as she will be downstairs in a minute. I do love her and I am grateful she is here to see it but God it is hard. 

One of my friends said that I have fight in me, that there is fire and I shouldn't forget that. 

in_need_of_direction

Is there any chance of a short local break for you while your sister is there?

beanielou

How long is your sister here?
Not too long I hope  xx

Jellytotts

I didn't realise your sister was over, it's good that she gets to see all of this and it is good for you to realise that others have taken you for granted....moving forwards at least you know that your sister will be more able to comprehend what you're telling her.

I hope your Mum is enjoying having her here.

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction said:

Is there any chance of a short local break for you while your sister is there?

No, there are certain aspects of Mum's care she only wants me to do. When I say my sister is shocked she really is and I think Mum senses that. 

beanielou said:

How long is your sister here?
Not too long I hope  xx

It is hard, I love her and we have had excellent conversations and she is only here till Tuesday. Makes me very sad, rough first few days and now it is good but it will be over fast. 

Really it just brings home how frail Mum is and how miserable it is making her. 

stymied

Try and take yourself outside to do the garden and rabbits. At least that will be a break of sorts whilst you’re still on hand for those aspects of your mum’s care. Ignore any and all comments about the mess you’re making!

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

Try and take yourself outside to do the garden and rabbits. At least that will be a break of sorts whilst you’re still on hand for those aspects of your mum’s care. Ignore any and all comments about the mess you’re making!

I think that is a good shout. 

I do love the rabbits, they are very good to sit with and feed etc. 

I think the most frustrating thing is that if I could be just left alone to get on it would look a lot better. 

milann

Always difficult when sibling come in and think everything and think they know everything when the one at home does it everyday. Yes I am talking from experience. A long time ago for me, but it still grates when I think about it.
You are doing your level best and nobody can do more than that.

Buffythedebtslayer

It has got better, a lot better. We spent some time together and sorted out some stuff. She does understand what I do and how hard it can be. She has witnessed or been subject to the same behaviour I am so that was a relief in a way. 

Mum is doing well really, and it is good having her here.

beanielou

Buffythedebtslayer said:

It has got better, a lot better. We spent some time together and sorted out some stuff. She does understand what I do and how hard it can be. She has witnessed or been subject to the same behaviour I am so that was a relief in a way. 

Mum is doing well really, and it is good having her here.

That's good