A Better Life.

juliejim

Thinking of you buffy - hope your mum feels better soon.

Sun_Addict

Sending positive thoughts your way, hope your mum is better today 🙏

Willowtree222

Another sending thoughts.
they look like good goals. Don’t put pressure on yourself at the minute though, you’re going through a lot x

[Deleted User]

Hope your mum gets better soon buffy x

Buffythedebtslayer

The thing is everyday I wake up and am worried about Mum. I know that sounds obvious but I am getting more paralysed by it. I thought today I would get up early and go to the tip. I overslept. made tea. and have sat here and bought car insurance. Which was hugely expensive but included full breakdown cover and is always a rip off anyhow. 

That sounds fine apart from the series of awful scenarios I played out in my mind to get me to buy it. My imagination is in overdrive. 

I really need to eat but the thought of food turns my stomach. 

maybe toast. and more tea. 

Jellytotts

Well done for getting the insurance sorted. One less thing to think about now.

Your imagination will be in overdrive due to the whole uncertainty of everything at the moment.  So focus on the absolute positives that you've achieved or can achieve to make the whole thing easier when your Mum comes home.

Make sure her room is clean and tidy and close your ears to any negativity from her about you doing this, it needs doing and as you're the only able bodied one you're doing it.  Get her bed changed and ready for her return. I assume she'll be using a walking frame when she's back so make room for it, another good excuse to "get rid" of any clutter that could trip her up.   Make sure there's plenty of easy meals.  Soups are ideal if she'll eat them as it's extra liquid (I know your mum is like mine when it comes to drinking enough) and they are quick to warm through.  

Get your room sorted so you've got an escape.  You'll need it.

Get the house bunny somewhere where he's not going to be a hinderance to either of you.  Could he live in the conservatory for a few weeks? 

If needs be, get a company in to give the house a good clean to free up your time.

Arrange for your sister to come over from the US, she needs to see your Mum and it will help to have someone else see what you're having to do.

Keep work updated about anytime off you're going to need but also make sure you talk all offered help from social services regarding carers popping in to get her dressed/fed etc.  You can't be away from work for the amount of time it's going to take her to heal but you will need some time off to do the hospital visits/checkups. 

Do not feel guilty about feeling overwhelmed by all of this, you've tried so hard over the years to make life easier for her and yourself and she's not wanted the change.  Change has to happen now.

Keep talking to friends/us on here and family about how it's going and if she and you need extra help/respite, take it.

You're doing a great job.

milann

You are doing a great job Buffy…..don’t forget that. It’s hard to see those we love suffering and it takes more out of us than we realise. 

You overslept because your body was telling you to take care of yourself. You sorted your insurance out. I’d call that a massive plus atm. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

RosaBernicia

Please go easy on yourself Buffy.  You do so much and you need to take breaks where you can.

Virtual hugs and doggy cuddles from here.

RB xx

Makingabobor2

You are doing a great job, but I do wonder if maybe you would benefit from chatting to a therapist. I tried a hypnotherapist a few years ago when I was having all sort of anxiety issues due to things going in my life....mum was very ill, son was away serving in Afghanistan, DD was undergoing IVF....anyway, the therapist was lovely and sorted me out. Worth thinking about.  
Hope 2023 is a much better year for you. Take care. x

milann

Interesting about the hypnotherapist Mbb2