Moving on with things

enthusiasticsaver

We may be in for a rocky ride over the next years but it sounds like you have a few strings in your bow business wise so hopefully you will weather the storm.  A few too many metaphors there but you get the gist. Who knows what mortgage rates will do but having a relatively low LTV will help. Good that the credit card/unsecured loan debt is now under control too. 

alt80

@enthusiasticsaver fml I thought I was bad for the metaphors lol. 

Definitely agree re LTVs - used to have this goal of having 100 units by any means, which for me meant gearing to stupid levels. I'm not so bothered about that now. Realised it was driven by my addiction, ego and the state of my mind. What I do personally feeds back into every other part of my life, something I didn't want to believe for a long time as I was in a bad way. Now working on reducing the debt unless something which is so good a deal I can't say no to comes up and I'm sure it's the right decision. 

Not concerned about my home mortgage, it'll go up when the fixed rate ends. Current house is at a low LTV but if something exceptional comes on the market even with the knowledge of the cheap money being over I still wouldn't be opposed. Difference is I'm no longer making myself ill worrying about getting from one level to the next. My whole sense of worth was based on that and I always felt utterly worthless - no amount is ever enough. 

carolbee

Hi @alt80, I read your previous thread and used to feel sorry and sad for you and your family, as there was obviously a good decent person in there, struggling to live well. So lovely to read that things are going well. You, and your wife have worked so very hard to get to where you are and it shines through. A big gold star ⭐️

enthusiasticsaver

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver fml I thought I was bad for the metaphors lol. 

Definitely agree re LTVs - used to have this goal of having 100 units by any means, which for me meant gearing to stupid levels. I'm not so bothered about that now. Realised it was driven by my addiction, ego and the state of my mind. What I do personally feeds back into every other part of my life, something I didn't want to believe for a long time as I was in a bad way. Now working on reducing the debt unless something which is so good a deal I can't say no to comes up and I'm sure it's the right decision. 

Not concerned about my home mortgage, it'll go up when the fixed rate ends. Current house is at a low LTV but if something exceptional comes on the market even with the knowledge of the cheap money being over I still wouldn't be opposed. Difference is I'm no longer making myself ill worrying about getting from one level to the next. My whole sense of worth was based on that and I always felt utterly worthless - no amount is ever enough. 

You sound much more level headed now so your state of mind seems to be much more balanced. Well done on making the changes you needed to and putting your finances on a much better footing. The housing market at the moment seems to be a mixed bag.  Over inflated prices in our town definitely.  

alt80

Quieter days have come as planned. Unfortunately, I was faring better by keeping myself busy. Can't keep the pace forever I know and I do understand the importance of having a rest so keeping my promise I won't work today to try to take my mind off some of the thoughts I've been having. Also just not very well generally so suppose that’s not helping. Being in recovery and in therapy is definitely helping me to make the right decisions through the ups and downs of life though and do the right thing for my family. My wife also being in therapy has been a game changer, she knows I'm so proud of her and tbh things are easier to predict financially too. We both had problems with spending, using buying things as a means of making us feel a little bit better. Never worked beyond a brief and fleeting hit.

It's my birthday next week and my wife is taking me to a fine dining place, she wants me to get out a bit more and tbh it probably will be nice. She's told me she won't hear of me telling her I don't want a gift though I'm struggling with her wanting to spend money on me tbh this weekend it's really knocked me. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I'd taken different choices in life but all I can do now is look forward.

@carolbee thank you, things are definitely better and we have and are both working hard to make things better for now and the future.

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. I’m coping, don’t always see the balanced approach in the moment and I know that so have help in place. Parts of the brain take about 18 months to right themselves from what the experts have told me and I will always likely have some level of vulnerability to relapse. However, I’ve done everything I can to move away from those circles and behaviours.

As for the housing market things have slowed in recent months, prices are high and more than likely over inflated but only time will tell. I certainly don’t think we will have much growth in the housing market over the next 5 years and agree with others who predict a correction of up to 10% next year. 

RobM99

 "Not a day goes by that I don't wish I'd taken different choices in life but all I can do now is look forward."

You and every other adult on the planet!

alt80

Not a bad day in the end, lunch out with parents-in-law and got out for a walk this afternoon. Still a bit under the weather tbh but stayed away from doing work which I needed to. Just under £100 spent and yesterday was a low spend of just over £15. Looking on track to clear an additional £3.5k this month if we don't have any additional boosts.

@RobM99 Ha very true tbf mate, thanks.

RelievedSheff

That's an amazing amount to clear in the month 😀

Keep going like that and the card debt will be gone in no time at all.

alt80

@RelievedSheff Thanks, that's the new normal amount since our full conversion to the milkfloats and keeping on budget with what we're buying each month. Tbh we could live on less and pay more off the cards but having nice food, days with family, few holidays etc are important. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff Thanks, that's the new normal amount since our full conversion to the milkfloats and keeping on budget with what we're buying each month. Tbh we could live on less and pay more off the cards but having nice food, days with family, few holidays etc are important. 

I agree. We could clear our debt off much quicker if we didn't go out so much. But we think it is important to enjoy life while we can and not view repaying the debt as a punishment.

We are still aiming to be debt free by the time we come around to remortgage in 2026. Which should be achievable at the rate we are paying things down at the minute.