Moving on with things

alt80

Fair bit of good news today, had a £3k boost from someone my wife sort of knows. Had promised to buy something but we weren't sure she actually would. Came through today, so been a great month for the card balances going in the right direction. Good day in business too, lots done despite struggling with the sleep last night. Have to accept the ups and downs for what they are rather than almost constantly concerned with getting to the next level at the sacrifice of today.

The post I made earlier this morning has prompted me to think on and off over the day about moving towards the assumption of staying on track so thanks @maggiem. 

alt80

No money news today, £3k boost everyday would be nice tbh ha. 

Mixed day, really busy with work and unfortunately came across something that is a reminder the only way is to stay on this path. Keep having thoughts of my ultimate goal being to not owe any bank anything in my personal name and owe nothing that has the proviso of a PG in a company name. Really quite stoked to have something big but ultimately imo achievable to work towards. Broken into smaller parts: cut expenditure on personal cars (done!), clear card balances (working towards), stick with planned lifestyle (managing so far), amortise and diversify portfolio and business interests with sustainable growth planned out without buying assets / lifestyle on impulse all underpinned by putting my mental health first. 

Humdinger1

@alt80 late to the party but have found your new diary and subscribed.   Can I say how proud I hope you both are; I know it's hard but what a breakthrough! You are both quite wonderful and I'm so delighted to be able to join you again.   You've done exactly the right thing re 'friend' and 2 employees dragging you down.  Maybe this will be the start of their turnaround but that's not your issue.   Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

RelievedSheff

You two have this cracked this time Alt.

lucielle

I followed your previous diary but didn't post.  So very pleased to see you both working as a team.
L

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like the finances are well on track to being much more stable than 2 years ago. Glad the holiday in Greece went well and your wife and you are making a good life for you and your son. Prioritising your mental health is good. Take care and great news on CC reduction. 

alt80

Just checking in after a really busy week both with family and work. 

Last weekend was son’s birthday party and also had a halloween party the day after, Monday halloween, back to school and Wednesday was my son’s birthday. This year our son’s party was at home with his friends, their parents and wife’s family. I used to stay out of the way, it’s horrible to feel unworthy of spending time with family realise how much I've missed with my own head being in the wrong place. For his birthday we took a different approach this year. He knew that from us he would be getting three presents - something he really wants, something fun and something to help someone less fortunate. My wife came up with it, we spent a whole lot less money than usual and we both feel we are working on getting him out of the spoilt stage. Had so many presents from everyone else he was ok with it too. This weekend we are going to a bonfire. Lots of memories with family tbh almost busy enough without a business to run ha. Had the advent calendar conversation with my wife also as I’d seen some deals on some of the beauty ones. She told me she wants to do what we’ve done for the past couple of years rather than spend our money on some randomly thrown together products by a big corporate. I’m so proud of her. She’s been in therapy for some months now, really working at it and has taken it seriously tbh it’s changed her life, she’s grown up in some of the most beautiful ways.

We still have social media but use it very sparsely. Something we have done in therapy was working out whether to get rid of it altogether. It wasn’t something that was a problem for me but it was for my wife and it affected our relationship but switching my own phone off has been good for my mental health as well as supporting her. Realised checking my emails over a thousand times a day doesn’t exactly help with stress. I’m not going to let my family down again, there were no excuses for the things I was doing. It’s nice to be able to work on this stuff affecting out marriage, blame free, together as we should have many years ago. These problems we’ve had has severely affected our spending habits over the years directly and indirectly; her’s and mine so we're on a new chapter with the personal financial discipline also. No more big dents made in the card reduction this week though so no real news there ha.

I told her we’re in for a bumpy ride over these next few years with the changes in the UK economy / financial policy. Recessions aren’t usually kind to my industry. She told me we’ll get through it together and some of the best times over these past few years have been when we’ve spent nothing at all or very little. 

@Humdinger1 thank you. You are right what other's choose to do is not my problem, cannot control the actions and behaviours of others. I did what I had to do, even so, some days still don't feel great about it tbh. 

@RelievedSheff I hope so. Not going to be an easy few years by the looks of things - few months back thought my biggest challenge was getting the cards cleared and my former car fully paid for but looking like my biggest problem is getting to a point of a reasonable refinance of my portfolio when the time comes and steering my business through what is likely to be a bit of a storm to come. My head is clear and it's helping me in business as well as with family. I have a clear set of goals which are planned out well. No plans to lose my sanity either.

@lucielle thank you. We both come from families that try to make marriages work and we still wanted to make it work. Things are looking up which I can't quite believe I'm saying being in my industry and my position looking straight at a recession ha.

@enthusiasticsaver thank you. Purely on the personal level, things are more on track 100%. However, I hadn't anticipated such uncertainty yet in the economy / mortgage market tbh thought I was sorted for life with that after the last portfolio refinance at 75LTV. Now it's imperative I keep a !!!!!! grip on the personal side as well as the business tbh.

On a better note, we had a lovely time. I know it is good to prioritise our mental health, just as important as our physical health as they interact and whether some choose to believe it or not mental health is still health. 

lucielle

Pleased to read you’re having family time and making lots of memories. 

L

RelievedSheff

Good to hear you sounding so positive Alt. 

Looks like we are all in for a rough ride this next few years. All we can do is ride it out and hope for the best. You are better placed now to ride out the storm than you were a couple of years ago. That is for sure.

We have already noticed a slow down at work. The bigger developers are shelving some of their bigger upcoming projects. Mind you it's nice in a way. Gives us some breathing space and allows us to catch up and mop up some of the ongoing jobs.

The other half and I both work in industries affected by down turns in the economy. But we have survived it before, I'm sure we can do the same again.

alt80

Another few days gone by and have hardly stopped. Keeping myself busy with business and family. I know I need to have a few quieter days soon tbf have a very quiet weekend planned which I'm looking forward to. No news on the card balances apart from we are tracking our day to day spending and it is below out target and has been for 2 months in a row. It's useful to look through once each week, can be objective about it now rather than seeing it as something personal. 

@lucielle thank you. We had a nice bonfire weekend. 

@RelievedSheff thank you, I am doing everything I can to be positive about things, negative thoughts just start spiralling for me. Slowly getting better, tbh I've put my recovery above everything subscribed to the no good to run a business or be there for family living how I was and as a result I think my brain is starting to recover a bit now. Never had the chance to before as I was just slipping up all the time, falling back into the same patterns. 

100% re where I am vs two years ago. I don't think I'm being too presumptuous to say I think the same can be said for you too, we have both done well to be moving on from past problems / mistakes. If the current economic situation was two years ago I would have been in an awful position tbh. My biggest hurdle now is more about profitability and availability of mortgage finance at decent rates in a couple of years time by when this may or may not have blown over. Fortunate to have a fairly diverse business whilst all connected to property I did spend a lot of the formative years working on this. Something good to come from those formative years having been during the last recession I suppose ha.

You do not surprise me re the bigger developers shelving projects - always works that way in my experience. We'll get through it.