Moving on with things

the_end_of_the_rainbow

So pleased to see you back. Keep posting so we can continue to cheer you on - you may still be struggling but you really have come so far since the first entries on your original diary. Take care x

warby68

Very pleased to see you back @alt80 and to read just how far you've come. I hope you still have some good support in real life for your and Mrs A's mental health. 

I for one admire you for clawing back your recovery and making even more changes in lifestyle and general attitudes. I hope you don't mind a smile at the final car change.

Hopefully the debt is structured in such a way that it can plod on without pressure points while you focus on the rest.

Take care

vampirotoothus

Good to see you back Alt. What things have you got planned for the next few weeks? Vx

MatyMoo

If you decide to travel to Scotland the west coast is the most stunning, it’s just that the east coast hold such special memories for me!

Glasgow is my favourite city with many wonderful museums, the transport museum is especially worth a visit.

alt80

I meant to respond before now with a message of thanks however I’ve started writing something and stopped myself from responding a few times.

I have reduced the personal car liabilities to very little. Works out a tiny bit of BIK and running the oldie in terms of personal expense. Greater expense to the business though of course. I’m not surprised you’re laughing at my position with the cars now @warby68 tbf I don’t blame you.

@vampirotoothus not much planned.

@MatyMoo thank you. I would definitely like to visit Scotland one day, only in summer though ha.

Sticking with the budget for personal finances; look at it once a week to hopefully advert a pattern of obsession starting again. Everything I was once paying to run the personal cars I’m throwing at paying credit cards in addition to what I was already clearing and when they are paid I’m reducing the amount of money I’m personally taking from the business every little helps to add to sinking funds. 100% !!!!!! acutely aware what I’m up against, just hoping to be in a position come btls refinance rolling around of not having to sell anything off in what is likely going to be a challenging marketplace. Had to face that staying at the same level with a view to having a greater degree of security for those I care about is about the best I can do rn. 

Business is still good currently but had to let two staff and a client go. Tbh it’s something I should have done a while back and wasn’t strong enough to deal with as I regarded them as friends. All !!!!!! with the bottom line a bit short term not terribly but all a bit two steps back to make one forwards. Keep trying to tell myself that self worth isn’t only derived from things money can buy but it’s all I’ve ever measured myself against so fwiw the past few months have been completely !!!!!! traumatic.

maggiem

Lovely to see you posting again in your own diary. Having followed your other diary for a while I am amazed you have got rid of the car but it is so good to read a more balanced approach to everything in your update. Given recent financial uncertainty it feels like you did absolutely the right thing. Giving family a sense of security is priceless. I can remember being devastated in 1992 when the interest rate went up and up and it was very scary indeed with lots of people in negative equity. I hope when you come to refinance everything has settled down. 

Keep going as you are totally correct that self-worth isn't only or even mainly derived from things money can buy! There is so much more that contributes to self worth and how others see you. 

Sun_Addict

I hope the client you let go is who I think it is. If so you’ve definitely done the right thing there. Sounds like things are heading in the right direction and your mindset is changing for the better. Are you off to your parents in Greece for half term? 

alt80

@maggiem I needed to walk away from it. I know I'll never be able to give my family the lifestyle they deserve to have time is just rolling on now and tbh I've lost my nerve but working towards giving them security is better than them watching me lose myself and everything else to addiction.

A lot of older friends and associates in business have cautionary tales of the past especially the early 90s. I have some time fortunately and I hope it will settle, realistically it will at some point I know and we'll be off again.

@Sun_AddictWe are going to see my parents over half term and yes, the client is who you think it is. Choosing to effectively end a 25 year friendship was and is !!!!!! heartbreaking but I had to do it or I know I had no chance. Family are saying I'm doing the right thing / heading in right direction etc too can't say I'm seeing it that way rn my mental health is just at an all time low.

warby68

I'm not laughing at the cars, just smiling happily at how far you've come.

Getting rid of that car (and what it symbolises) is huge, but not as huge as the client/friends. I'm sorry its all so painful but these choices are very much to your credit and hopefully time will work its magic and help you with your mental health too.

I also hope Mrs Alt is on board with the changes too. Rapid debt reduction, business and personal , to de-risk a bit and weather rising interest rates sounds sensible (not sure when your refinance is due and whether you currently have fixed rates).

Security as a goal is a good thing and you can still combine a certain level of security with more entrepreneurial stuff when you're ready to go again. It doesn't have to be all or nothing like before.

Take care, look forward to the holiday and give yourself some flipping credit.

alt80

@warby68 sorry I took the comment as it wasn’t intended and thanks.

I needed to walk away and I too hope things will ease with time think I’m going to be in therapy for a long time though unfortunately although still better than the alternative.

My wife is on board, she is in therapy too and we are getting rid of a lot of things for reasons of what they symbolise more than anything but also helping with clearing some monies owed. 

Tbf refinance not due for a couple of years, fixed at the right time, on spv rates so was never the mega low sub 2% rates seen for BTL in personal names. When the energy bill rises were in full swing a few months back I decided where I saw no increased costs I would not increase rents despite inflation. Know it’s me who is down financially for that decision but I’d like to think I’ve managed to help a few in a little way who I’m aware are struggling with the cost of living. Selfishly should mean less likely to have arrears to deal with too, I tend to find talking to people as people works. I had the point of refinance marked as time to review which they know so we’re all on the same page. Easy to think it’s all a problem for a few years but a few years rolls around quickly and if I’ve done !!!!!! all and we’ve seen values drop I know it’s not a good place to be. Equally I could be planning for something that materialises to be nothing, all blown over by then and I’m looking at getting a better Ltv and potentially reducing some of my PG risk, win win really. Idk trying to do the right thing for once in my life and actually taken the time to explain it to my wife so she understands why I’m doing this.

I hold out hope I will be ready to go again one day but for now I’m just keeping everything ticking over whilst I concentrate on family and sorting myself out. Don’t think I can face another round of ‘all or nothing’ so it’ll have to be different to before.