Money Moral Dilemma: How much should my partner pay towards our holiday?

onashoestring

From a money saving perspective- the discussion about how you will pay for a holiday should happen before you choose and book a holiday together not afterwards . 

This applies to all families - (blended , step , nuclear ….)

neilmorgan

Is this a loving relationship or a financial partnership?

 

deliah67

Discussing how you afford the holiday before you book in future would avoid these issues.
personally you should work as a  family unit and not separate daughters.
my partner has often paid all the holiday f for my 3 children and I as he earns a lot more than me. He’s happy doing this. 

This year I have managed to save and paid for all our flights and all out spending money and it feels great. We work as a team!
use this holiday as a bonding family experience and both be generous in heart and pocket! 

CapeTown

You are being very mean. This may be the last holiday he gets with his daughter and you are seeing her as a financial burden. Split everything equally and be really nice to her.

John_Gray

It really sounds like this will be a fun holiday!

Cambsmum

Perhaps we need to know how much you both earn. Giving you the benefit of the doubt maybe you are more worried about money than he is. You need to sit down and have a full discussion about expectations on holiday. The children will have very different needs. Are you going to argue about splitting every expense?

Mr5Micawber

Someone (probably a man) wrote - "He is being fair, but if I were him and I thought you were thinking like that I would be your ex-partner. "

Is the man who wants you to pay your own way and subsidise his teenager also the father of the toddler?  If so, are you regretting you had your baby with this man?  I would be!

If he tried to justify his 'fair' division to me - as the mother of his younger child - he would be MY ex-partner. 

I agree with eao (19 July 10.05 pm) and other advice for you to examine and define your relationship and re-negotiate finances.

Ed264

Personally I think your partner is being more than fair. In times when many are struggling to pay their bills, you should be grateful that you're in a position to be taking a holiday overseas, so this petty squabbling over percentages is unnecessary.

JB50MSE

It is fairer if people pay their own way as soon as they have an income. That includes paying for their own extra expenses of any and every kind e.g. relatives such as parents or extra children, work costs etc. Share expenses equally for true joint expenses such as a joint dependent child. My partner and I pay for food 2/3 and 1/3 because he eats a lot more than me, but we pay for home electricity 50/50. I learned the hard way from my ex-husband who got me to pay a lot more than half and I received a lot less than half. Discuss it until you’re both happy with the outcome. If one of you is not happy, it’s not going to work well in the long term. 

bambibear

I’m sorry if it sounds harsh but you need to really rethink how you view your relationship. You have a child together so I’m assuming it’s a long term thing and you’ve not just got together. If you think of your stepdaughter as a financial burden (which is how it comes across) then you’ll ruin not only your holiday but potentially your relationship too.I mean during the holiday will you query if the meals should be more on his side as his daughter is there and you’ll split your toddlers meals between the two of you whilst you pay for just yours? Sounds a nightmare to me. If he earns significantly more than you then maybe you could agree to have a joint account where you both agree to put (e.g. 10%) an amount of your take home pay to pay for hols like this, or alternatively bite the bullet and just have a joint current account (and your own savings accounts). Been married (this time round) for 15 years and that works well for us. My hubby earned significantly more than I did yet I was still reluctant to start out with as I (thought I) needed my independence. Turns out I was wrong.