Money Moral Dilemma: How much should my partner pay towards our holiday?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

 I'm going away with my partner, his 15-year-old daughter and our 16-month-old daughter this summer. We're debating how much he should pay. He suggests he pays for his and his daughter's flights and me for my flight (our toddler will be on our laps), and that we split the accommodation equally, as we'd need somewhere to stay even if his daughter wasn't coming. Yet we'd have booked a smaller, cheaper apartment if she wasn't there, so is it fair to divide it equally?

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eskbanker

That sounds more like a generic family budgeting question than one specifically related to overseas travel as such?

There's always plenty of debate about the rights and wrongs of couples sharing finances completely or retaining individual control over separate accounts, and this just seems to be a variant on that fundamental issue about whether or not everything should be in one pot....

Ath_Wat

I think you both need to have a talk about what the word "partner" means.

_nate

Tell him to find another partner. Problem solved!

MalMonroe

To all intents and purposes you are a couple as well as being parents. You just pay things together, as any other family would.

Don't differentiate between the daughters. They're both yours now, whether you like it or not. Anything else is just plain cruel.

For any normal, adult person, this "Yet we'd have booked a smaller, cheaper apartment if she wasn't there, so is it fair to divide it equally?" is totally irrelevant, not to mention downright hurtful.

elsien

Half and half. You’re a family. That’s part of the deal. 

Shell1989

Split the cost of this holiday the way you split all your other expenses. If that’s equal, go equal. If your partner normally pays the larger share, then perhaps that’s what he’s trying to do by covering the cost of 2 out of 3 of the flights… 

IvanOpinion

He is being fair, but if I were him and I thought you were thinking like that I would be your ex-partner.

benedictadams

obviously none of us know the cost of the flights and the cost of the accommodation

but on the face of it you seem to be getting a better deal as you are only paying for half of the accommodation and no flights

he is paying for the flights and the other half of the accommodation

is half the cost an apartment with one less bedroom really going to be more than the cost of your flights ?

Are you going to be demanding he spends more on the food cos his daughter is there?

Cos I know it says that we should be nice and stuff cos there is a real person behind the dilemma but you do come across as what mine is mine and what yours is mine

JamesyMac

Have a word with yourself. You’re partners; split it 50/50 or whatever way works financially. If I was him and you behaved like that, I’d walk.

eao

Is this a male thing?  I am male and should I expect to be able to propose something so obviously unfair and get away with it?  He should pay, at the very least 66% or maybe even 75%.
Stand your ground and split mathematically.