The Mental Debt Struggle...

shell16

Ah keedie, just caught up, hope you are ok? 

Shell x

Keedie

Hi @Four_Seasons, @Chrystal and @shell16, thank you very much for checking in on me. I am really touched by that.

I am okay, just very tired and the last week or so has been very busy and stressful. But I'm just taking it easy with my freelancing today and trying to do some personal admin. I've not been sleeping much as I've been a bit wobbly mentally, but I'm hoping that will pass soon enough. Christmas into February is always a hard period.

I moved some direct debits around as I had a think about things and how I wanted to do things differently. I'm still paying £600 a month to stay on target, but realised that rather than pressure myself to finish my MBNA by 15 August, I'll focus on Barclaycard as it has the largest balance. Also they both keep offering me money and balance transfer deals, but Barclaycard has a better a transfer rate at 3.3% compared to 5% for MBNA. Also, it's giving longer terms for the 0% interest, so it will make sense to clear as much of that hefty balance as I can, so that I can take advantage of their offers which are more favourable and will push the deadline to next year.

So instead of the £600 debt repayments being split as:

£50 for school fees
£72.67 to Creation
£202.33 to MBNA
£275 to Barclaycard

I've reduced MBNA by £152.33 a month and allocated it to Barlcaycard, so the new direct debit values from this month still adds up to £600 and is:

£50 for school fees
£72.67 to Creation
£50 to MBNA
£427.33 to Barclaycard

My aim is reduce Barclaycard down as quick as possible. This will give me a larger chunk available for a balance transfer in July 2023, and I'll still be able to clear MBNA this summer and not pay interest, I'll just be kinder to myself in terms of how I pay it off.

I feel a lot better with things this way around, as I calculated that at 90% of my £10,500 credit limit, is £9,450 and so I need to reduce the balance as much as I can, to have enough leverage to clear what I anticipate will be the remaining £2,000 on MBNA and not have the card maxed out. 

I'm also considering parental leave or unpaid leave from 9 May 2023 to 15 June 2023 to accommodate my son's GCSEs. I'll need to help him get through them whilst balancing my own mental health and I don't believe I can do that whilst working. As stress is one of my key triggers for hypomania or depressive episodes and I need to stay well. So I figured, in that time, whilst he's sitting his exams, I can rest or work on my freelance transition by studying my courses. He sometimes has two exams in the same day and on some days at different locations. I cannot drive back and forth to and from home and the different exam centres all the time, as I will burn out. But his anxieties are so high that I can't just leave him to his own devices as that would just be cruel. I asked him if he would like to go to his exams by himself and he looked panicked, so when I suggested that I might be able to drop him he seemed really relieved. So if my unpaid leave is approved, I will find a local library or cafe that I can hang out in and be nearby.

If I can get the unpaid leave, then I will need to work out my budget for May and June 2023, as both months will be lower salaries as they will be pro-rata unpaid.

The DVLA came back to me and have put my licence under medical review for 1 year, so I have to send them my current licence which I will do today or in the morning, and then they send me a new licence with a 1 year restriction. And in 9 months time, I have to reapply again for a licence and have another medical review. I don't know how that one will go, as by then I will have been booted out of my CMHT. My sister thinks that will work in my favour as I'll be seen as more stable if I have been discharged. But I cannot predict how I will be in a couple of days let alone a couple of months and not having that support could actually lead to me being unwell. Who knows... 🤷🏾‍♀️

Makingabobor2

Sounds like a good plan with your debt repayments and also a brilliant idea about the leave to help your son with his exams. Hope it all works out ok. x

Keedie

Oh and I reduced my annual target of clearing £10,000 in 2023 to £8,000 as this is £800 more than my minimum payment (11%) over the course of year as 12 x £600 = £7,200.

I've turned my PAD Pot into a 2023 PAD Pot instead of a monthly one, as I will begin stockpiling what I can, so that I can save as much as I can for 2 months debt payments (£1,200) to reduce the pressure if I am able to be unpaid for those 6 weeks. There's £23.18 in there at the moment, and my brother would have paid off his remaining balance of £517 and my sister would have paid hers too, so I'll hold that all there, so that I can meet my direct debits comfortably and only have to worry about bills and living expenses from my reduced wage. 

I then figured, later in the year, when I've got the summer holidays out of the way (as they are expensive), I can then see what I've got in my sealed pot challenge and anything else I've managed to save this year and then still reach my debt payment target. I'm trying my hand at understanding zero budgeting and cash stuffing and so I will defer debt overpayments until I have my emergency fund in place and built up some sinking funds. So it means that I will still put money aside for overpayments, but for a longer period so that I don't inadvertently leave myself short, whilst I'm working on building savings.

Keedie

Thanks @Makingabobor2, I think having that leave will give me a chance to have a mental break whilst helping him and I feel less pressured by my debts now that I've given myself permission to do it at a different pace.

LittleMissDetermined

Great planning adjustments Keedie, very sensible to switch the focus to Barclaycard if they’re offering better deals for switching. Now that my Barclaycard is clear I no longer get any offers from them, but loads from my others.

In regards to your time off, this is really great for you to do if you can afford to take the time off. It must be really stressful for your son to have to go without the support of schoolmates in a physical school.

If you’ll be hanging in a cafe or library whilst you wait, are you able to do some work remotely? Not sure of protocol but maybe part time hours for that period would mean you had something to occupy your mind so you’re not worrying or wondering how your son is getting on.

I hope you’re feeling a bit more Keedie-ish soon and less stressed. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself 
LMD x

Keedie

Yes I do feel better about getting Barclaycard down to get a good transfer deal @LittleMissDetermined as they're consistently giving me offers. But I don't have enough of a free balance to utilise it, as that is my highest card balance. So even with the MBNA transfer, I will be in a better position, as I'll be able to add the MBNA direct debit value of £50 to Barclaycard, so once the transfer is done, I'll be paying £477.33 a month to Barclaycard.

I do really feel it for my son, he's trying but he just gets so overwhelmed and upset by everything being the way that it is. But he told me that he made friends at college, he doesn't even know their names but he hanged out with two guys and he was so much happier for it! We only get one life, and I don't want him to be sad. I don't want him to suffer and putting work on hold for a period of time to help him through everything is the best that I can do. I also brought him a weighted blanket as they had some Silent Night ones on offer in Lidl for £39.99, but he seems to enjoy sleeping on top of it not under it 🤦🏾‍♀️. But maybe it will help soothe him. It's meant to be really good for anxiety. Our childhood has a profound impact on us as adults. I want him to look back on all that he's been through and what he has achieved and to feel a sense of pride. He's not there yet, but he'll get there. I just need to keep building him up and reminding him of our holiday at the end of this GCSE period.

I can't really afford to take 6 weeks off, but I can make it work. I'll keep PADding, so that I can set this aside and have money to meet my debt repayments for June and July 2023. As I set aside my wages and all income for the next calendar month, the budget for May 2023 will be based on April 2023's income. As I'll be unpaid from 9 May 2023 to 31 May 2023, I'll still get a little bit of money on payday, which I will put towards June 2023's expenses. Then I'm back on payroll from 16 June 2023 to 30 June 2023, so I'll get half of my salary for that month to go towards July 2023. So it's not too bad. Especially as I am away in July for 10 nights, so I won't need food shopping or petrol or to pay into any sinking funds during that time. 

As my bills pot on Monzo is locked, I just need to round up what I put aside each month between January to April 2023, so I can see how much credit that pot has nearer the time. If it's looking too tight, then I will use some money from one of my pots. I'm going to be very conservative with my sinking funds for the first half of the year, and then when I've recovered from the unpaid leave, I'll be able to pay in more. So things will be a bit lean for a few months, but I don't think that's a bad thing. Not being frivolous will do me a favour and help me to budget better. Well that's what I'm telling myself anyways... 😂.

AntoMac

Well done Keedie. You really are a good and thoughtful person.

Humdinger1

AntoMac said:

Well done Keedie. You really are a good and thoughtful person.

Indeed you are @Keedie! You're managing this brilliantly xx

LittleMissDetermined

You're such a great mum Keedie, I hope your son realises just how fabulous you are.