The Mental Debt Struggle...

Makingabobor2

Definitely no point staying in a job that stresses you. I was in that situation once when I started a new job, and it turned out to be nothing like they made it sound at interview. I went to the manager and explained how I was feeling after a while, I was having sleepless nights worrying about it all. She went off and came back with a notebook and suggested that maybe if I wrote a To Do list, I would cope better and not be so stressed!!!!   Don't know what she thought I'd been doing, I am very much a list person, so that didn't help at all. When I started taking time off as it was making me ill, they referred me to occupational health and the woman there, asked what I thought I could do to get back to work quicker!!  Needless to say, I left eventually, just couldn't stand it.  
Good luck with the planner, I do love a good planner and stickers and lists...

Humdinger1

A bullet dodged there @Makingabobor2! Delusional...they are probably sat there wondering why everyone is leaving and why oh why can't they recruit fresh cannon-fodder! Love Humdinger xx 

Keedie

Thanks @LittleMissDetermined, I am feeling better today. And I got some help with my workload today as I escalated a few things and I had another therapy session with the trainee psychologist with my CMHT. I'm a bit anxious though, as they have said that they will discharge me when my sessions are over and I don't know what I will do then...

But I PADded £4.50 to the sealed pot today as I don't spend £2 coins and I had some spare change.

Makingabobor2

Humdinger1 said:

A bullet dodged there @Makingabobor2! Delusional...they are probably sat there wondering why everyone is leaving and why oh why can't they recruit fresh cannon-fodder! Love Humdinger xx 

Yes indeed, the lady who had the job before me had left as there was too much to do....but at least she understood it all as she had been there several years, I was quite new and the initial training had been rubbish

LittleMissDetermined

Hopefully if they will be discharging you they can signpost you to other services or self help so that you're not just left in the lurch. 
Glad you're feeling a bit better 
LMD x

Keedie

Sorry it sounds like you've had a nightmare experience @Makingabobor2, and I don't blame you for leaving! People underestimate workload and training and how much a supportive and structured environment can have. I'm not suprised that the focus was on you managing (an unrealistic) workload, rather than them making things more structured and attainable.

And I agree with @Humdinger1 , they're probably wondering why they're losing people and have somehow probably convinced themselves that you're all weird or couldn't hack it, but not actually looking at the reasons why they are driving people away. It's not easy to walk away from employment, but when it's not working, it just needs to be done. I didn't work for 2 years and I really rebuilt myself in that time, but then I fell back into bad habits. So I need another reset and I'll be looking for jobs very soon.

I don't know what they're going to do @LittleMissDetermined, as the reality is, all of the services that are on offer are not specialist enough to deal with the complexities of bipolar. I always self-refer on the hope that I will get some support but then I just get rejected. But I have my bipolar support group tomorrow evening so that always helps, the people there are great and we go to the pub afterwards, so I always look forward to that.

AntoMac

Reading of people’s bad job experiences reminds me how lucky I am to work with the people I work with. We are a proper team who look after and help each other. I have been on the end of very poor or limited training and know what a confidence shaker that can be. My vow to anyone new to working with me is that they won’t be left to fend for themselves on a task until such time they are happy that they have understood the job, not just the how but the why.  It’s horrible when you’re chucked in at the deep end without proper resource or guidance.
With your ongoing treatment Keedie, weren’t you also going to go on a semi-residential series of days away from home or was that just to help with your physical disability?  If you have your support group as a minimum that’s still a big plus, as your fellow attendees are likely to be able to relate to you and understand you far better than others can.

Glad you are feeling better than you were.

Keedie

Yes having a great team makes all the difference doesn't it @AntoMac? I love the people I work with, but the way that the work is structured is just too much and it's overwhelming and chaotic and the payroll queries that I manage need to be handed back to Payroll. I'm not equipped to deal with a massive chunk of the queries and they come in thick and fast and some are very complex and I don't get that much help from them, if any, and so I am often struggling to keep on top of things. If they move that chunk of work from HR back to Payroll, I can stay longer. But as it stands, if nothing improves, I need to move on. I don't like transactional HR anyway or HR Operations anymore. I've never been in love with it, but after 15 years both in a local authority, freelancing and with my current job, I just can't take it anymore... It's good that you're so supportive of new people as it can really shake your confidence when you're ill prepared to do your job.

The 3 week residential programme is for the pain management, but as it involves lifestyle changes it will have a knock on effect with the mental health. I've found another Bipolar UK group to go to, so that I will have two a month and I've found a weekly general mental health group with Rethink Mental Illness that I will try out as well. The therapy that I am having is very useful on a practical level, in terms of strategies to help me to say 'no' more often and how to carve out time for myself to reduce my stress levels etc. But on an emotional level, it's not very useful, as I don't get to actually go through things that are bothering me. So it will help by the end of my sessions, to be able to have a better approach to life. But I think I'll need to still use my PIP when it's all over to have some actual counselling as the last few years and especially the last 6 months have been extremely difficult and traumatic. Hopefully, I will be able to find a counsellor that will actually see me. As they never want to take on clients with bipolar. But I'll see what they can signpost me to when they discharge me.

I don't know what's going on with my CMHT as my psychiatrist has still not responded to the DVLA about my bipolar and medical assessment, so I have no clue where I stand. And with the DVLA only writing to me and there being postal strikes and post is backlogged and delayed, I don't know what is going on. I had a letter waiting for me when I got back from Butlins from the DVLA, dated 15 November 2022, telling me that they have not heard from my psychiatrist, although they wrote to him on 8 November 2022. I dunno if they have written to me since and if my licence is going to be suspended or if I'll be put on a temporary licence. And this limbo is really annoying me. So I'll have to email my psychiatrist tomorrow and see what's what.

I got some freelance money come through today of £791.50. So 40% automatically goes into the Monzo business account tax pot and that now stands at £426.91 so I’m 17.09% of the way to my £2,500 target. I've decided to get to my earn £10 a day target of £3,650 over the course of the year, I'll set aside 40% of my freelance income into my year long PAD Promise Pot. So that means I'm 8.67% saved for that target of £3,650 and I'll be able to hopefully hit my goal by the end of the year and I can then do my 60% to debt, 10% spend and 30% save with whatever I have managed to get together.

I think the best thing I can do for myself this year, is to pretend that my freelance income does not exist, so that I can get used to living on less income and being more frugal and cutting back where I can. So that when I do my annual review in December 2023, I can see where I am with my debts, my savings and my spending.

Four_Seasons

Hi, just checking in hope you are ok x

Chrystal

Another one here thinking of you and hoping that things are OK?  (((hugs))) XX