The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Thanks @beanielou 😁 xx

abaka

Really enjoyed reading this!!!  I might steal the idea of a small payment break after clearing a card for personal purchases!

Keedie

Yeah go for it @abaka, as I think we need that mental break and reward to treat ourselves every now and then 🤗.

I've been doing some life admin, and trying to work out the different things that I have to move around and pay for this month. I've got about 90% of the funds needed for bills and debt repayments, but it was the exam fees that have been troubling me. Exam centres are getting booked up already for summer 2023, and the final exam timetables have not been published as yet! I get a discount via the online school for the exam centre, and that comes to £520 for 3 subjects, but is in South West London. The home education college is based in South East London and they're an hour commute, which means that there's no time to change exam centres on the days that he has two exams in one day, and the college does take private candidates 🤦🏾‍♀️.

So I've been stressed out trying to find an exam centre close by, that is a short distance between the college and exam centre, because of his anxiety will inevitably getting worse around exam time and he can't afford to be late! Finally found one at £600 for 3 subjects, and so I need to sit down again and tweak everything so that I have the additional £80. I'm also in a conundrum regarding ID, as his child passport has expired 2 weeks ago and he needs that to register for exams and they want a current passport in exam centres. I'm hoping that I can just get an identity card from the Post Office as it's classified as official ID and use that instead, it also only takes 2 days to be issued but a passport is up to 10 weeks. And the exam centre is tiny (from the outside at least), so I'm not sure if it's too dicey of a timetime to wait until the passport is issued. The last thing I want to do is have it all booked up and he can't sit them - especially as he's actually more enthusiastic about having his hybrid way of working 😬.

I'll be on the phone to the exam centre in the morning, so that I can see if they take ID cards, as the website is not ID specific so fingers crossed 🤞🏾.

AntoMac

That’s a really positive and successful September Keedie. A sizeable reduction and a solid plan going forward.
Just a thought on finding a bit of extra cash short term. You COULD consider allowing the reduction to your electricity DD. Perhaps use the extra cash for short term needs and then make extra payments to your electricity account when you’re over the need for a short term few extra pounds. I’m able to make extra payments to my electricity account at any time, and have thrown a few ad hoc payments in prior to the big rise.
A lot to think about sorting your son’s ID and exam places. I’m sure your determination will see you succeed. 

cinnamon123

I'm another one to say, "Well done!"

AntoMac's suggestion is a good one! I would add that although you are planning to finish with the freelance work this year, you may want to consider keeping a teeny tiny bit each month at whatever amount/hours you want. This way you still have a hand in it if you need to quickly earn a bit extra. In this example - if you use some of the energy cash mentioned above, if that's an amount you could make up in January with freelance work then that becomes an option to help alleviate near-term stress.

Not ideal since I do know that the freelance work is also stressing you out - but is there a happy midpoint you could find? Over the next year, you are likely to have additional expenses crop up here and there with your son and his studies? It is almost inevitable. 

shell16

Well done @Keedie, loving the summary format @Squirrelz92!!  I used to do this then stopped I think I need to do something similar, it is a good motivation tool too for debt repayment and seeing how far you have come in that month.  Good to reflect if overpayments are not as much as you hope at a given time, to see a total over the month must be hugely motivational!

Shell x

Squirrelz92

Most definitely agree @shell16. Makes the world of difference seeing those starting figures at the beginning of the month slip away! You should start a summary back up again! x

JustAboutThere

Just popped in to say a big well done, @Keedie.  I've just read your diary from start to finish and you've been through the mill but it looks as if your plans are coming to fruition - you definitely deserve it.

I'll try and subscribe, if I can remember how.  It's literally been years since I've been on the forums.  I'm frankly amazed that I remembered my log-in and password

Keedie

Evening all, it's been a productively lazy day today. As in I did a lot of productive activity whilst more or less remaining in my bed because my body is really tired and I'm in a fair bit of pain today.

I spoke to the exam centre and submitted an application and was pleasantly surprised to hear that although the exam fees are £600 (£200 per subject), they give a 10% discount for paying in cash at the exam centre, so that takes it down to £540, so only £20 more than the discounted centre via the online school. I must admit I was a bit suspicious of this offer initially so I asked a lot of questions in my return email to the point that the lady just called me, and explained it's a special offer as long as I pay by 31 March 2023. Once I make a payment, they said that I get a receipt as normal and Statement of Entry for the exams, so that made me less anxious. As I didn't want to pay less but have no audit trail as £540 is still a helluva lot of money. On the ID front, she said that unlike the other exam centre they don't need to see the ID to book the exams, he just needs to have it to present when he sits the exams in May and June 2023. So that's a weight off my mind. They said that they would accept the Citizen ID card as it will have his name, photo and date of birth on it as I told them he doesn't have a passport. He will do by then, but I don't trust him to take it to and from 16/17 exams so close to our holiday where there's no hope for a replacement on time. He loses his keys, money, oyster card, football and anything else. So knowing that the ID will work and there's no rush to get one, is good enough for me 😁.

You both make great points @AntoMac and @cinnamon123 with regards to the energy bills and freelancing. I currently have £502.83 in credit including the £66 from the government and my latest bill was £64.38, so I think I can afford to easy back a bit on the bill credit for a little bit. I think it's my anxiety that has made me so paranoid about not being able to meet my bills and having to compromise on heating, knowing that it makes me ill. I'm going to keep the direct debit as it is, until my November bill has been generated. As my gas usage nearly doubled in September and I only put the heating on sporadically in the last 2 weeks. Once I can see how much I'm using now that the rates have increased, I can make a judgement call on the direct debit. But I've closed the energy bills sinking fund for now and transferred some of the money to The Noose (debt repayments Monzo pot), so that I've got less to pay in later in the month, and put some towards our birthday meals this weekend.

As for the freelancing, my main client was really sad that I wanted to leave by the end if December 2022. So we've compromised and I will cease being the sole point of contact for HR and will work with a HR consultancy company that they can use to outsource to replace me and I will work with that company for about 6-8 weeks as a transition period. So that will take me to mid to late February 2023, and I will continue their monthly payroll until April 2023. So that will give me some money but I told them that I can't commit to any minimum hours anymore, and so I will do what is needed to prepare for handover and transition, but then I'm walking away. They've asked if I would consider ad hoc work, and I told them that unless they're offering me copywriting work (which is the career change I've put on hold whilst I sort my son's education out), then I am not available. They said that I can work on their newsletter, website and their company blog. So I told them I'll think about it. It'd be great to change career with a trusted client, but I fear that I might get sucked back into HR stuff, if they keep trying to 'pick my brain' about stuff. So if the offer is still available after my son has completed his GCSEs and is settled into college, and they're used to having a different HR company, then it could work. So we'll see how it goes...

I agree with @Squirrelz92 and think you should go back to doing the financial summaries @shell16 as it really does help to focus you, and it's good seeing other people's summaries (in my opinion), as it helps me to be inspired by other people and their journey and to be able to cheer them on and see what they have achieved in that time period. It also helps you to be able to look back on what you have done and where you're headed financially.

Welcome to my diary @JustAboutThere, I'm so touched that you've read from start to finish, bless your perseverance! Thank you for your kind words. Things have definitely not been an easy road at all, and I think in all honesty, I'm still on autopilot for survival, but the cracks are starting to show. Hopefully I make it to this time next year without a major bipolar episode, but it's hard. I think doing things slowly but surely will be the way to get through it. And the advice and support from everyone on these forums, and the feedback I get from my diary has helped me more than I could ever begin to explain. So the more the merrier 😁. You did well to remember your username and password! To subscribe to any thread, you click on the bookmark sign and it turns red when you've subscribed. You just click it remove a subscription as well. The if you want to see everything that you've subscribed to, you can click on the bookmarks are. I've done a screenshot to explain it better 😁.

LittleMissDetermined

Morning @Keedie   Good news on the exam fees front and that they will accept the ID card. I have to admit that my passport is one ID and wholly paranoid about losing and when I have to carry it with me I am constantly checking that I still have it.

How nice that your freelance company wants you to stay, they obviously value you and the work you do.  If they can give you the kind of work you're after later down the line then that seems like a win-win to me.

I hope you and your son have fabulous birthdays this weekend!
LMD x