The Mental Debt Struggle...

IndiJonesi

Wishing you and your son Happy Birthdays and have a fab weekend xxx

Keedie

Thank you so much for my birthday wishes everyone!

I am having a great day so far. I am meeting my mum for lunch and I am looking forward to that. When you have lots of siblings, it's always special when you get some one on one time with your mum 😁. A friend has also very kindly given me a voucher code for the cinema, so that I can see Smile this afternoon for free and I am so excited 🤗. I'm going by myself and having some me-time and then my sisters are coming over later this evening for some wine and a gossip. I'm really touched by my cinema voucher, and I nearly didn't go as I put all of my money and effort into my son's birthday, and I'm not used to prioritising myself, but I'll be making changes in that regard moving forward.

I was talking with my sisters this morning on a 3 way call, and we were saying that as parents we tend to give so much to our kids that we let ourselves become an afterthought, time and time again. I've decided that I am going to focus on myself for the next year, and put the effort into myself that I put into others. I won't stop being nice to people, as that is not in my nature, but I will definitely reserve more of my efforts for myself.

I'll sit down tomorrow and rework my budget so that I can remove my PIP from it altogether, and I will have this sent to my Chase account where I keep my monthly spending money. I can then start using the money for all of the things that would make my life easier, rather than using it for bills and keeping my son afloat, but saving up for the things that I need. Not just in terms of disability aids (which for some reason are scandalously expensive), but for my mental wellbeing as well.

It means that my debt free journey may be a little slower, but I think that is the kindest way that I can do things. I hate my job, I hate freelancing, I often feel burnt out as a disabled single parent, so I need to find a way to be kinder to myself, so that I can have something solely for myself as I don't have that at present. It means that I'll have to do a new statement of affairs as well, but I think being kinder to myself, whilst still being financially responsible, is the only way that I can make The Mental Debt Struggle both mentally and financially sustainable.

LittleMissDetermined

Happy birthday Keedie! I hope you enjoy the cinema x

abaka

Happy birthday Keedie!!!

and slowing down your debt free date is no bad thing.  As long as you keep on top of things and don’t feel pressured!!!  Which I’m sure you will!

Enjoy the cinema!! I haven’t been to the cinema by myself in a while!! I love going on my own for some me time!!!!  

Hope you have a great night!! Treat yourself to popcorn!!!!!

[Deleted User]

Happy birthday Keedie xxxxxxxx

Chrystal

Wishing you Many Happy Returns @Keedie, and a lovely year in store for you. XX

beanielou

Happy birthday 

Keedie

I had a really good day yesterday and thank you very much for my birthday wishes @AntoMac, @shell16, @LittleMissDetermined, @abaka, @Squirrelz92, @cinnamon123, @Sun_Addict, @Four_Seasons, @IndiJonesi, @Adeley, @Chrystal and @beanielou. You've all made me feel popular and special 😂😂😂, so thank you very much.

I highly recommend Smile, it was an excellently creepy film if you like that sort of thing. And having some time to myself was a great feeling, especially as I don't get that at all really. The teenaged parenting years are hard, and it's nice to see when others have reached that light at the end of the tunnel, so you're giving me hope @Sun_Addict (and I love your diary by the way).

We've got our joint birthday dinner this evening and we're going to Harvester, and this one is a bit out of the way, as we had trouble finding one that could accommodate 13 of us, as my sister in East London is come South with her husband and the kids to join us, and my other sister with her two boys and my mum and oldest sister will all be there. My brother and his family was unable to make it, otherwise there would've been 17 of us!

I'm going to help my mum paint her chest of drawers and wardrobe as her new carpet is being fitted on Wednesday and she's still painting her furniture. It's the final coats, but I can see she's tired, so I'm trying to help her as best as I can so that she's just doing the touch ups tomorrow. We've been going to the carpet shops and went to look at different beds etc, and she's used some of my leftover bedroom paint from when I did my room last year. I'm excited for the end results as she deserves something nice and fresh. Was a bit stunned by the fact that she got herself quite a blinged out bed with diamante's on the headboard. Didn't know she had it in her .

I also have to buy my son's birthday cake, and he's requested a chocolate one so I'll get a sponge one for myself, so running to Tesco's on my way to my mum's. Will sit and sort out the budget when I get home. I think I've worked out the best approach to taking it easier, so we'll see what happens. Have a good day everyone,x

AntoMac

That sounds like a fun night to look forward to Keedie. Harvester not too expensive, and the trips to the salad bar are great.
Reminds me of cash back extras that some current accounts do. On my Halifax and Lloyds accounts they offer a percentage cash back if you use your card at selected retailers. One of my current offers is 10% cashback for using my card to pay at Harvester.Maybe one of your relatives has an account with a Bank that does a similar deal? You might already be aware, but I would always rather know about things twice than not at all.
Good luck with your painting. Not a job I enjoy as it usually gets a bit messy! 

cinnamon123

Keedie remember debt repayment is often a marathon not a sprint, just keep on top of spending (and earning) and you'll achieve your goal. To state another cliche, two steps forward/one step back is still progress in the right direction.

Taking the time to evaluate and re-evaluate where you are and how you can improve is not only important, but will serve you well on this journey. And as you are a disabled person who experiences pain on a regular basis, it is vital that you ensure that you prioritise your needs, be kind to yourself and do what you need to so that everyday life is easier. Burnout serves no one! 

Remember you've got this!